Would a visit help? Is there some sort of accepted students day that would put the best face on the safety? Any peers going there who would be persuasive?
We are fortunate enough to have a great state U as a safety; kids as well as parents find it hard to turn down. One kid chose it. What made the difference for him was an accepted students day in which everything went well: he enjoyed the presentations, he ran into friends on the huge campus, he met a good friend for an ethnic dinner afterwards. We had incredibly good luck. Son 2 has this as an option as well. I am carefully not pushing it (!) but if one of his older friends invited him to spend the weekend there, I wouldn’t say no.
(I will confess I am not sure what the best choice is for son2. Part of me thinks he would be happier at a smaller school, so my not pushing the state school safety is heart felt.)