Some very good life advice you gave your S there, GoForth! Glad to hear all is going well for him (and that he still likes the food…that can sometimes be a challenge!)
My D just had her first classes the second half of this week and so far really likes all of her teachers and seems excited about the classes. She has been pleasantly surprised that her school (Juilliard) is not living up to some of the not-so-nice stereotypes that are attached to it. She has found all of the faculty and staff to be extremely supportive, pleasant, and friendly, and she has gotten along well with her fellow students as well. Aside from some very sloppy suite mates, all is well in NYC. She, too, has been doing pretty well with following up on all those little details. I will be interested to see if she is able to juggle all those little things as the semester gets busier!
Looking forward to see how everyone does (parents and students) as this first year progresses!
Thank you for continuing to share how things are going for everyones child. @GoForth I would expect most college music programs to have some form of placement/audition at the beginning of each semester. This will naturally create a competitive feel. That same school can and often does still create a family like atmosphere. It may be difficult to compare a spring visit (although I’m not sure when you were at Frost) to an August visit/situation. Good point though, that not all arts programs place students into an ensemble simply because they are a student. Some actually require an audition, and not everyone makes it. I’m basing my comments on my own dance student who does have auditions every semester. Sure, there is a competitive feeling but at the same time it can create a tight nit family.
Sounds like your son is having a great experience!
My thoughts about collaborative/competitive/family. I think some of what you’re seeing is a reflection on the school size. Most music programs, especially after breaking down into popular/classical, are so much smaller than Berklee, so that the “family” becomes synonymous with the school. My son has a close friend at NEC, also in jazz, and you can see the difference in infrastructure. At Berklee, the students make their own family groups. My son, now a sophomore, is part of a very close-knit group of about 8-10 kids who live together, socialize together and really look out for each other, but there’s also a wider group of friends who get together for sessions, recommend each other for gigs, participate in each other’s far-ranging projects (my son danced in a music video, for instance), etc.
No doubt, there was some posturing last year as freshmen, especially early on, but that seems to have abated or, at least, my son and his friends have learned to ignore it. Part of the maturing process, I think. I just spent most of a week among them and I honestly don’t remember me and my friends in college as being as supportive of each other as they are. They reflect the student body pretty well - one horn, one drummer, a few guitarists, many singers. It’s like being on a Glee set.
@GoForth , you are famous! I just noticed that this thread has upwards of 23,000 views! Whoa! I’m so glad to hear that everyone’s kiddos are doing well and adjusting so far. I’ve barely heard from my D at Oberlin, which I know means she’s adjusting well. I did get a “send money” message a week or so ago, so, again, things are very normal, lol. My D, with @coloraturadad 's daughter, have Freshman Hearings for the Voice Department tonight, so please send positive thoughts. I do know there is a lot to juggle with classes, new friends, lessons, coachings, rehearsals, etc., and my singer just got her first college cold; but our kids worked HARD for this, and they are ready.
Also, I’d like to give a big shout out to Oberlin, in general, for making all the new students feel welcome and at home. My D’s Studio Teacher already hosted a Studio Party on Labor Day at her home, and another event is already being planned. Several upper class students from my D’s new Studio have reached out (some with formal emails, some less formally) to offer advice, support, and just to lend an ear during this huge transition (including @Scubachick 's wonderful daughter). I did not expect this level of collegiality and support in what can be a competitive and difficult business, and I have been very impressed.
P. S. I have received several laundry-related texts mostly regarding which clothes can be dried in the dryer, and which must be hung-to-dry, and LOTS of one word responses (I.e. “Okay”) to my many attempts at communication.
LOL, @dramasopranomom - my texts from S have dropped off precipitously since I last posted, and now I’m lucky to get an “OK.” My son’s studio is very friendly like your daughter’s. I hope her Freshman Hearings go well, even though I’m not sure what that is.
I love reading these comments on how your kids are doing! I know the communication for me will be the same with D next year. When S started college the texts dropped to next to nothing. Now if I get an “OK”, “Yeah” or “K” that’s about as much as I can hope for. I have often pointed out sarcastically that our cell/data plan does not charge more for using more words in a text message! Hahaha!
S is moved into his dorm at Northwestern. They have a full week of orientation and placement testing and start classes next Tuesday. He’ll be talking with academic advisors about adding a minor or second degree this week - he’s still trying to figure that aspect out.
He did a pre-orientation backpacking trip for 8 days so he had several good friends before move in day. He is so happy with his decision to attend NU and excited about everything that lies ahead. It doesn’t hurt that the weather in the Chicago area has been spectacular this week and Lake Michigan is more gorgeous than ever. An inspiring setting for sure.
Things are very emotional on my end. I’m going to miss that kid.
Aw, @BassTheatreMom it is hard, I know! Good luck to your S at NU! What a spectacular new music building they have. Definitely an inspiring setting.
Drop off and the drive home were very hard for us, but we have settled into our now empty nest. So far I have put some of my extra time and energy into weekend cooking projects and cleaning/organizing, so we are eating very well/healthfully, getting rid of lots of unused stuff and donating it to charity, and DH and I are taking walks in the mornings or evenings most days. It still feels very odd not being a “band mom” who spends her weekends at football games and marching band competitions, though!
Hi @classicalsaxmom, in Freshman Hearings, each freshman sings in front of the voice faculty I assume for initial evaluation purposes. They sing individually with no audience except for the faculty.
My D is adjusting fabulously to the college life. She started calling us every night very excited on her experiences and the calls have diminished to mostly texts (I guess everything is ok!). She has taken already three studio classes with her teacher and she seems very excited with her choice. So far, she is doing very well in her course work. She did very well in her aural skills evaluation at orientation and was skipped a few levels She did not have to take the aural skills class this semester giving her more time for the other classes.
I already miss my D dearly! It’s awfully quiet in our home not hearing her constant singing all night long.
It’s so good to read how all your kids are doing and adjusting to the college life. I really enjoyed reading from you all during the audition process and in some way I am fond for all your kids. It was quite an adventure sharing these experiences with all of you. Please keep it up and thank you @GoForth for this wonderful thread that I’m sure will benefit many in the future on what to expect through the process.
@BassTheatreMom - yes. We have swapped kids between TX and IL.
We also miss the activities of the pre-college days. GoForthWife has fretted a bit; however, we gave all the support we could going into this, so we have a lot of confidence in the fit.
@coloraturadad - thank you. I was inspired by BassDad in the past, but knew my writing would be not as hot. I figured we could have a number of threads on the forum ending with “Journal” if that would make it handy to catch up on a particular person’s past decisions and progress. I also miss the music from the bass. However, back when S did marching snare, I knew I would not miss that as much in the house.
I am fortunate (I think?!) to have another senior this year who is applying to musical theatre schools. So I’m not feeling the lack of activity so much yet.
As @coloraturadad said,“I really enjoyed reading from you all during the audition process and in some way I am fond for all your kids.” This is so true, and it makes me so happy to hear all of your stories!
One month has come and gone for S at UNT. It seems that a cadence has now been established there.
When I asked S what we may have under or over prepared for, the only thing he said was that I probably spent more time than needed learning the curriculum guide, since the counselors seemed to know their stuff. Well, I never mind a bit of overkill, and one of the results of my studies was an 8-semester plan spreadsheet that showed all of the required courses from the University, the College of Music, and the Jazz Studies program, along with optimizations of what courses would intersect both a core requirement and an Honors College credit, while also meeting the required number of Advanced Courses. Prerequisites and course offering patterns were factored in, too. Anyway, the plan showed around 13 hours per semester are required for graduation at the 8-semester mark.
The counselors advised the freshmen that 15 hours would be a good limit for their first semester as they adjust to college. Somehow, S ended up taking 15 hours. He reports that 15 hours is an awkward number of hours for him. Either there could be more hours and he could process the extra academic workload, or there could be fewer hours and he could put that time to use for more musical pursuits. That was a new concept to me that there is a “sour spot” for class loading.
I think a lot of us try to stay out of this kind of preparation so that our kids can connect with other adults, and have some autonomy. One out of three of mine would discuss classes that seemed interesting, but I stayed out of decisions and planning for all three.
Some kids need it, but I personally feel that we should be doing the minimum needed, so they can move on past the parental sphere.
It’s a long road to this point, through a lot of years of parental involvement, so it is understandable that it continues to some extent but I think we have to make a conscious effort.
Maybe the “sour spot” is part of getting used to a new schedule and adjusting. I remember my D being overwhelmed and under-worked all at the same time first semester.
The “sour spot” for course load is quite interesting. The fact that your son could understand and analyze this could be of great benefit in the future. My dear child has been analyzing how and why she was placed into the rehearsal schedule that she has this semester. I think she was wishing she had more rehearsals. After looking at her schedule it was due to class conflicts and there is no way she could handle more rehearsal given the course work that will be required this semester. I wish I had taken the time to go over the course load plan at some point or maybe just once a year. Although due to timing of course offerings and such it almost never works out as planned. But then they can think ahead and see the benefits or challenges they may be creating for themselves. She always seems to take more than 15 hrs so I’m also wondering what senior year will look like since she had quite a few AP credits going in. Her particular program doesn’t have a lot of extra upper level courses. And it may be too late to start a minor.Perhaps if she only took 12 hrs vs 15-17 a semester she could have more performance opportunities. Also I feel like having these discussions with my child helps build our relationship as we move into the next phase.
For the program S is in, it seems like the boundary values are - you have to be there 8 semesters, you need 12+ hours per semester to keep the scholarship flowing, you need X hours to graduate, and you come in with Y hours from AP and from their credit-by-exam. Side-note: we heard that his credit-by-exam could be more efficient for Spanish than the AP test, so S economized by not taking the AP Spanish test. Anyway, take (X-Y)/8, raise it to at least 12, then you have your average loading goal. If you could finish in fewer than 8 semesters, then use another formula. Maybe we are lucky, but the tool at vsb.unt.edu is a great class-planning tool that reflects the UNT current year offering pattern and times of day for each class. I mentioned to S that being in Honors College lets you sign up earlier, so you have more choice, so he did that. Hopefully other schools have something like this. With this knowledge, S does not overload too much. I made a spreadsheet that I gave to him for him to maintain where he can cut and paste classes over a 4-year span into the semester he wants. It seemed good to know the project loading up front since the information is pretty available.
Agreed @drummergirl! This is most definitely the time to offer advice/guidance only when asked. They need to figure things out on their own. Be there when you are needed but time for our children to captain their own ships.
