This is most definitely the time to offer advice/guidance only when asked.
And sometimes even not offering the advice that is asked, but suggesting they consult other adults or think about it on their own a bit more.
@compmom Exactly!!! Itās very hard sometimes but so important they learn to figure things out on their own.
The other thing: someone suggested, GoForth, that you are famous with almost 23k views of this thread. This means that your son is also āfamous.ā Does he want this kind of exposure? My kids would have privacy concerns once settled at a school. The very discrete and helpful journal about the admissions process was a wonderful contribution and we all enjoyed it, but at what point does it stop?
Iād like to weigh in on the āprivacyā aspect that keeps coming up and is seemingly an issue for some. I think if your child wants privacy then great. No problem. Thatās how this forum works. That being said, Iāll share a different aspect of this forum on that. Many of these kids have been recognized with national press releases for things like National YoungArts, Grammy Camp, media coverage, have a webpage, a public facebook page and are out there in social and regular media by their own choice.
In a thread last year regarding a vocalist who was selected for one of these national opportunities, I mentioned a singer by name on the thread. She was selected for several of the above mentioned national competitions and was named a Presidential Scholar for National YoungArts and had won other major singing competitions in jazz. I was discussing her with regard to the subjectivity of selecting musicians for some of these competitions. She had won all of these big competitions and yet had not been selected at all for another well known jazz competition. It was crazy. Someone PMād me and said I should delete the post because it had her name in it. I felt OK posting her name because she is a well known jazz singer who was a recent HS graduate but has a known media presence, website, etc.
I sent a PM to the page admin asking for the post to be deleted and the response was āPer Terms of Service, posts are not deleted on request. The person named is a noted figure, so there should be no expectation that her name would never be used in an internet posting.ā When I pushed back and asked again that it be removed, that someone PMād me and asked that it be removed the response came backā¦āI understand that, but my original point still stands.ā
SO while I would never use someoneās name again on this site, famous or not, it stands to reason that if someone reading many of these posts really wanted to try to figure out who a kid is, unless they already had a decent amount of media coverage it would be pretty hard to do. There are thousands of musician kids out there and a few posts about your kid in college wherever they are really arenāt anything that would render their privacy mute. I would also not assume that your kid has the same issues with privacy as mine.
There may be some getting used to the Journal format as a new organizational tool on CC. It is a grouping tool that allows viewing information in a different cross-section. For specific topics, such as āwhat bow grip should I learnā, those are great in a thread isolated to that topic. For progression, the Journal is great.
It is customary for us to post to the forum during or even long after the college era, stopping whenever the individual author feels that they should stop, sometimes earlier than the readers would wish.
It would be pretty easy to figure out who my son is if you really wanted to. (Why anyone would want to, Iām not sure.) But Iām not concerned, nor is he. Iām his mom, I think heās amazing and I think anyone who thinks he isnāt amazing is nuts. Iām pretty sure that differentiates him from no other musicians, lol!
Today is the day of classes today for S. Heās done a very good job figuring out his schedule and talking to advisors about his goals to determine the right complements to his performance degree.
He was disappointed to find that soccer intramurals are only in the spring. But he found a groupme of about 80 soccer players, so he can always find a pick up game. In addition, one day during orientation he just wandered over to the fields and found a game to join. Heās going to be just fine.
Iām really excited to hear about his first day of classes!
Putting aside questions of autonomy and privacy, I was a little taken aback by the description of your curriculum spreadsheet - even though you admitted it was overkill. Makes an education seem rote somehow, with more emphasis on efficiency and not much room for exploration - hope the goal of credits āoptimizationā is towards more freedom in the schedule! Also, I have heard that one issue at UNT is that it can be a challenge to attain the required ensemble credits due to availability/competition. Maybe thatās changed now.
@drummergirl - yes, the goal was to minimize the required classload to open up room for either desired classes or practice time. For example, why take an honors class and a social sciences class, when there is one that is both. Or, why take 15 hours every semester when you could have taken 13, but must still take 12 each semester in your last year and canāt finish early anyway. And I only admitted it was overkill to seem more normal - I actually love solving problems, and it was a fun spreadsheet for me. I think the degree has a rote component, but all of the connections and learning are where great benefits will be, so it seemed maximizing those could be good.
Now, I guess my ānodā to privacy is I havenāt named the band that S is in, not do I plan to. Yes, S, said that some people are indeed not placed this semester. There is a sheet showing that in the music building hallway that any member of the public could walk into and see. So, his placement and any related impact it could have would definitely be part of the spreadsheet. But Iāll say, he is alright.
You sound about as normal as the rest of us. I confess I made a spreadsheet for my daughter after she changed majors midway through school. It was really helpful and I loved doing it too.
These comments crack me up! I despise spreadsheets with a passion! That being said, I would currently be a basket case without the one that I had hubby make up for me for Dās college applications, prescreens, auditions, etc. I read peopleās comments about creating one (which never occurred to me to do) and when I started to have a panic attack over everything involved in the application and audition process earlier this summer, I took GoForthās advice and made one. Sorryā¦Hubby made oneā¦I am an excel IDIOT lol. Normal is very relative in this completely ānotā normal college audition process! (PS, I signed up for a remedial computer reboot class with my companyā¦hoping they can teach me the joys of creating spreadsheets myself! Haha!)
@SpartanDrew - I should send you the 8-semester plan sheet.
NOOOOOOOOOO!!! HAHAHAHA! My brain would absolutely EXPLODE! :))
@GoForth consider yourself lucky that you are not doing this with my daughter as she applies to musical theatre programs. āIāve got it, Mom,ā is the most oft-repeated phrase in this house. I really hope she does, because she doesnāt want my help (except for check-writing). So no spreadsheets, because I do not have the data to enter into them. Itās insane and I am losing my mind.
I want to make a spreadsheet.
@BassTheatreMom I love everything you wrote! First off I am quite certain Iād think your son is awesome too! And like you with your son, I am my Dās biggest fan! Thankfully she wants and needs me involved in this process and I will happily turn over the reigns to her next fall (as I did with my son when he started college). Meanwhile, just like your daughter, she relies on that checkbook which is flexing at overtime at the moment. I tell people that our wallet is hemorrhaging cash and it truly is. I hope it stops soon in that regardā¦
My two cents here - I cannot imagine trying to take as few classes as possible in college just to get out as quickly as possible. I would hope students, instead, would take as many as possible - while still keeping a good balance between academic life, artistic life and social life. When else will they have a chance to take these courses, explore these areas with these fabulous professors - in an environment solely devoted to that aim? My S took five years to graduate - then went to a grad school where he was also allowed to take all sorts of courses in all sorts of areas - which he did - and I was delighted. I would have been very sad if heād not taken advantage of the fabulous opportunity to revel in the life of the mind.
@SpiritManager I can agree. S is required to have 8 semesters of private lessons, so, in that time period, the ārequiredā class load can be averaged out. For example, eight semesters can have hours of 16-16-16-16-12-12-12-12 because you realize mid-degree that you are gaining credits faster than you needed to, but because you need to be there 8 semesters, and you must take at least 12 hours, you get the pattern I show. If you new this would happen at the outset, you could plan 14-14-14-14-14-14-14-14, or if you already had even more credits, for example, S is looking at a 15-13-13-12-12-13-12-12 as a loading profile. So, from there, you could add on extra classes above and beyond all electives and required courses, or you could add on more practice time, etc. to fill your weeks. It is all the same mentality of exploring and learning. The only difference is knowing the numbers in advance instead of later, when the degree requirements must be met.
@SpiritManager So agree! Iām so worried S will be hyperfocused on as much music as he can that he wonāt explore everything there is to offer. I squandered the opportunity when I was in school, I really hope he wonāt do the same.
And from a practical standpoint, you really need other experiences to bring to your music as you do with any artform. Living in a hermetically sealed music tank isnāt good for music. It needs to be fed with lots of ideas and experiences.
Coming off of high school and the competition of āwhat classes are you takingā (think AP classes), my D felt some pressure to load up (note jrās and srās will not feel this peer pressure). She did take math right away to get it done (she was a good math students but those skill fade fast). I think her freshman year was pretty full credit-wise. She did have to drop down in credits (bye bye minor) second semester of sophomore year for a principal role in a opera. Based on recommendations, she took the least amt to still be a full-time student. Thatās when all planning went out the windowā¦and I stopped giving an opinion (I was being treated like a pest anyway). Junior year she managed. And senior year due to auditions, I know she was a part-time student for her last semester. All I said the last few years was: I donāt want to show up for graduation to find out youāre a few credits short. She got them all in. The points being: a) itās maybe not a bad idea to load up a bit at the beginning when you have some time particularly in gen ed classes like math and science where you need to remember concepts, and b) some times the schedule is driven by non-academic considerations (performance opps, study abroad etc) that you canāt really plan forā¦advisors are there to assist with those bumps. My Dās favorite UG class was one on contemporary Japanese literature. She leaned toward math and science in high school and it was the first time she learned to love literature. College mission accomplished.
Oh, my. The FAFSA just became available today. The first item for the second year of college just appeared. That feels weird, being only 1+ months into the first year.