<p>My best friend is on an exchange program for a gap year in Thailand right now. I miss her desperately and she’s asked me if I think I can visit her. I would love to- first of all to see her, but also to go to a country that I may not have a chance or reason to visit again.</p>
<p>I don’t know how to ask my parents. I hate asking for permission to go places and do big things. I always feel like I’m asking for too much, even when their involvement would just be driving me to and from the airport and maybe helping me with exchanging money.</p>
<p>I know it’s so so expensive to get over there- the cheapest airfare I was able to find for that week was $1200 round trip. I have the money and would definitely pay for everything myself- I’d stay with my friend at her host family’s house so all I’d have to pay for besides airfare would be spending money. I know my parents are going to make a big deal about the expense but I completely think it’s worth it. (And I could make it all back and probably more over the summer).</p>
<p>I don’t want to seem spoiled, though. This past April my parents sent me to Spain on a school trip, as my Christmas/18th birthday/graduation present. It was such an amazing experience, even though we were in a big group and mostly everyone spoke English to us, and we spent a lot of time on a bus… I think going to Thailand as a guest for a friend and not as part of a tour would be even more rewarding, because by the time I get there, she’ll have lived there for seven months and she’ll know all about the culture and it’ll be a more in-depth cultural experience.</p>
<p>I just really think it would be such an amazing time and I’m really anxious about how my parents will react. If anyone has any advice about how I should present the idea to them, and how I should argue for it, please help me. Thanks!</p>
<p>Money aside, I would want to know where you would be staying, if you would be welcomed by the host family. I would also want to know if you would be traveling around, if so, where and how. I would speak to your parents after you have all the information, maybe over Thanksgiving time. The main thing would be to make your parents feel comfortable about going to such far place. You have the expense covered. Ask your friend to send you some pictures of the family she has been staying with.</p>
<p>Honestly, if money and the cost of your college education is at all an issue, or your family’s job/housing/investment situation is tenuous because of the economy, I would strongly urge you to reconsider this trip, and redirect these funds toward your college expenses.</p>
<p>If the economic parameters do not apply, then follow your plan.</p>
<p>How they will react depends on their parenting philosophy and skills, as well as your own level of maturity and overall stability.</p>
<p>Just my $.02. You will find as many opinions as there are answers. :)</p>
<p>As a parent I would have no problem with my daughter (who after all is an adult) planning a trip like this as long as she was not expecting me to pay for it. She has not gone overseas yet but makes her own plans for summer employment (did a service type in a State 1000 miles away) and spring break (was planning Cancun but decided to do Habitat for Humanity instead). We do not expect her to ask permission though she does let us know her plans. So far she hasn’t planned anything that we had a problem with. Personally, if she had a friend in Thailand, I would think it would be a great experience for her. But I would not pay for it.</p>
<p>I would suggest showing your parents how you are planning to pay for it. I am not sure how appropriate it is to expect the host family to accommodate you, so that is something you and your friend would need to investigate.</p>
<p>I agree with all SCM said. Unless that money is specifically earmarked to college expenses that will otherwise have to be picked up by your parents, it really should be your decision. The actual conditions of the trip, to me, are not my business; I expect my kids when adults to figure that out themselves, which is why I also agree that you need assurance that the host family really is ok with this.</p>
<p>But, that answer does not help you “convince” your parents. I would say–plan and research as much as possible, anticipate their questions/concerns, be mature and even-toned, let them voice their reservations, if they have them, and try to meet them in a non-confrontational manner.</p>
<p>Assuming that cost isn’t an issue I’d guess your parents’ biggest concern would be your safety so you might want to think through the response to them regarding safety. It’s best to give concrete information based on knowledge rather than just saying everything will be alright. For example, tell them exactly what area you’d be staying in, whether that’s a nice and safe area, what the host family is like including kids living in the house, what transportation would be used while there, etc. You should also have some note from the host family extending an invitation to you to stay there - it shouldn’t come just from your friend. The host family will incur a cost (meals, transportation) and some accommodation to have you stay there. That doesn’t mean it would be a problem, they’d probably be happy to have you there, but it’s something that needs to be considered.</p>
<p>As a parent I would want you to have experiences like these, hopefully your parents will too. I see it as a big part of my children’s education to see the world. Getting to see an amazing country like Thailand, staying with locals and being guided by a friend who’s been there for a while sounds great! And you’re not even asking for money!!</p>
<p>You know your parents and what their issues might be. If it’s safety, go in armed, Thailand is a relatively safe place if you keep away from the sex/drug trade, get the facts.</p>
<p>As an employer, kids who have traveled the world get a major plus in my evaluation. They are better able to deal with our clients who are from other cultures, they gain maturity through their adventures and have a more accurate view of the world. Any one in your generation who has not visited Asia will not understand half the world.</p>
<p>I think Youdon’tsay has a good point about exchange programs discouraging visits from friends and family from visiting. Even if the attitude is “no one pays attention to that rule”, you should check the programs website for the official policy. My niece was in Thailand as an exchange student a few years back and her local official was a real stickler for the rules. I hope it does work out for you - much better way than what the average tourist would get.</p>
<p>If it doesn’t work out, roll with it. Since you enjoy traveling, other opportunities will come along. This isn’t your last chance ever.</p>