<p>Hah, no one (well very few) people in college date. It’s also very likely you’re going to a female-heavy school, so that will decrease the odds of getting a date even further. College just doesn’t seem to be the time to date for many people, or at least people don’t start doing it until they’re upperclassmen.</p>
<p>You seem incredibly insecure. Not judging or anything, but that’s a huge turnoff in people.</p>
<p>My daughter was just like OP. She had never had a date in HS (including the prom). She did have tons of male friends (always has). When she started college this September, she found a group of friends who are just like her (more so than the ones she hung out with in HS). Before September was over, she was in a relationship with one of the boys in this group. It seems to be working out - they are happy together and are still part of this social group that spends a lot of time together. (BTW two other couples have also formed out of this group of friends.)</p>
<p>Your situation isn’t bad.</p>
<p>1) Remember what you’re at college for and never lose sight of your priorities for going. Last time I checked it was an opportunity to expand your education.</p>
<p>2) Casual sex? Not all it’s cracked up to be. Male or female, sleeping around with different partners does in fact make you a slut. Discard any ideology and look at the definition of the word.</p>
<p>3) Explore outside your social comfort zone and discover who you are in college without losing sight of #1.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>“slut (slt)
n.
1.
a. A person, especially a woman, considered sexually promiscuous.
b. A woman prostitute.”</p>
<p>“Considered”- that does not make it fact. Considered makes it an opinion. Therefore, it is not set in stone. It is a judgement. It is not a fact.</p>
<p>You’re telling me that the Oxford English Dictionary (considered the premier dictionary reference) offers an opinion in its definition? </p>
<p>Okay…
Slut- noun, derogatory
1a woman who has many casual sexual partners.
2 dated a woman with low standards of cleanliness.</p>
<p>Are you going to argue that a definition found in a reference is merely an opinion? Sounds like a fantastic way to make peace with lifestyle choices you have made. “I’m not an xyz because the definition has some ambiguous language in it.”</p>
<p>Sure.</p>
<p>That should be the least of your worries, you still have so much more time ahead of you! There are plenty of other people out there with mutual situations who aren’t “socially awkward”. It’s perfectly normal and fine to not have “experience” before college. That’s actually the point - college is for independence, experimenting, etc. High school is more of getting your life on the right track.</p>
<p>The only thing you should really be concerned about going into college is your grades, attitude, and motivation. Those are the factors that will determine how far you get in life. Everything else comes naturally.</p>
<p>This is turning into a Rush Limbaugh piece (remember when he called a Georgetown Law Student a slut for wanting subsidized birth control?) This was after Limbaugh came through customs on his way back from the Dominican Republic (after one of his many divorces) with a half-used packet of Viagra.</p>
<p>^Which is funny because while most CC kids are socially very reserved and don’t really know what goes on at most big state schools on a weekly basis, most CC kids would also probably classify as liberal.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Yes, probably because people who refuse to move in together before marriage are religious and conservative and would never divorce under any circumstances. Whereas those move in together before marriage don’t really think divorce is a big deal and are not religious.</p>
<p>Or because they’re probably purple-dinosaurs who are unable to reconcile their self-loathing because they’re secretly aliens from Mars…</p>
<p>Since we’re making uninformed assumptions. Or could it be that moving in before marriage introduces a whole new level of potential stress and conflict. Speaking from experience as a semi-conservative libertarian who went through a divorce despite my religious misgivings about it.</p>
<p>My post discussed a third variable that may explain the correlation. Can someone link the study? Does it adequately control for this variable?</p>
<p>It’s odd for me to see people with no dating experience adamantly exclaim how they will “never have sex before marriage” or that people “should not cohabit before marriage.” Do they have any personal knowledge relevant to this discussion beyond what someone preached to them?</p>
<p>Once again, the statistics show no such thing. That was taken care of up thread.</p>
<p>You should probably get some sort of practice. Even if you don’t feel uncomfortable at your college, it’ll still give you more confidence.</p>
<p>The “premier dictionary reference” also includes “heart” as a verb, as in “I heart you” and “woot.” Forgive me if I don’t lose sleep because a dictionary says I’m a slut.</p>
<p>“The “premier dictionary reference” also includes “heart” as a verb, as in “I heart you” and “woot.” Forgive me if I don’t lose sleep because a dictionary says I’m a slut.”</p>
<p>Good for you. You are comfortable with your behavior fitting the accepted definition of what a slut is, as well as what others consider to be a slut. Good on you for encouraging a young, college-bound woman to engage in casual sex practices.</p>
<p>“It’s odd for me to see people with no dating experience adamantly exclaim how they will “never have sex before marriage” or that people “should not cohabit before marriage.” Do they have any personal knowledge relevant to this discussion beyond what someone preached to them?”</p>
<p>I’ve dated, I’ve been married, etc. I already shared my relevant experiences. </p>
<p>OP should make her own decisions, but know that casual sex with multiple partners (as a male or female) fits the definition and criteria for being a slut/slattern. You can argue semantics, whether it is fact or opinion and even try to discredit the source which details the criteria and definition for being a slut; doesn’t change a thing.</p>
<p>Enjoy!</p>
<p>This thread bring up so many of my fears</p>
<p>BMEPREMEDgirl—don’t read this thread if it’s upsetting. It’s gotten w-a-y off topic and the OP has signed off. You don’t need the aggravation. I’m signing off as well! This is the season of CHEER! Don’t let anything bother you!</p>
<p>Lol so what if you haven’t dated or even kissed a guy. I haven’t dated a girl and I’m a senior. Just talk to people and you’ll see your in the same boat as them. By talking to people you can also get off the boat ;p</p>
<p>yearbookstalker, your post made me feel a lot better. Mostly because I would never want to ask anyone this question. I dan’t have an identical situation, but it’s similar enough for me to have wondered the same things.
My first relationship (and only one to date) was a long distance one. We met at an academic programme, ended up kissing on the last day, went on a single date a week later (he lived locally and I was still in town) and haven’t seen each other since. Our relationship was carried out entirely through Facebook and Skype. Actually, I think you might be in the better situation here—better to have no experience and be able to truthfuly say that than have to say you do, but only in a long distance relationship.
Oh, on the sex thing that has come up a million and one times now: people aren’ always “saving themselves” for reason a, b, or c. Some, like me, have a very hard time reconciling the the possible negative outcomes of sex with the possibility of it being a pleasurable experience. </p>
<p>Oh, given what I’ve been given from other people on the whole long-distance relationship thing, I’d like to say I’m the one who broke it off because he was clingy, not the other way around.</p>
<p>It’s not all that bad. I didn’t have my first boyfriend until the very last day of high school (knew him for all 4 years but clicked during Senior Prom). Before that, I only been on 2 separate dates during high school, both during my Senior year. While it didn’t work out, I was able to prepare to see new people at college. Within the first week, I was constantly asked out by guys at campus. Went on plenty of dates through out the entire first semester (no sex) but nothing worked out, except for one (who I end up marrying… but that’s another story).</p>
<p>Unlike high school, college gives someone more options to pick from. Plus, you don’t have parents telling you who you can or can not date anymore. I’m glad I didn’t date much during high school because I was able to focus on school and enjoying my high school years with little to no drama.</p>