<p>To impress the judges, what are things about myself that I can impress and what I should not put in my essay? Also, how can I hook them…(any interesting things?)</p>
<p>You dont want to use your essay to “impress” anyone. The essay should put a human face on your application…your feelings, insights, emotions, opinions, etc. This should be real and meaningful, and it should be written as a story that anyone would want to read. </p>
<p>The other sections of your application list your accomplishments or “hooks”. </p>
<p>You are not telling them you are an outstanding person, you are trying to lead them to conclude that for themselves.</p>
<p>OP, mitchklong is right, but for a moment I’m going to assume that by “hook” you meant “how do I draw someone into my story?” Because your essay is a story – a story about you – who you were, who you are, and who you can become. So if you want an attention grabbing opener, my suggestion would be to forego a formal introduction like you would write for a history essay or English essay, and instead focus on some visceral, physical detail that puts the reader right IN the story.</p>
<p>Example:
Here it comes. Another wave of sweat. I feel it building, dripping down my forehead, over my eyebrows, into my eyes. It’s like tears. I’m crying tears of sweat. It’s my first day on my job, and I don’t know if I’ll make it to Day 2. </p>
<p>This example may have nothing to do with your essay, but the concept is the same – grab your reader with an emotional or physical hook – make us feel what you feel – and you’ll have the start of a good essay.</p>
<p>The other 2 answers are really solid advice. This essay isn’t about flashing all of your great volunteer work or clubs you’ve been in, it’s about giving them an inside look about the type of person you are, without outright saying “I’m awesome.” If there are interesting things about you, or experiences you’ve been through that would show you’re no stranger to diversity, achieving goals, etc. then of course you could center the essay around those events. You’d want to show how those events shaped you to be a better person, a person that they would want attending their school.</p>