<p>Personally, think a good idea, but should be fostered more in elementary, by middle school the seeds are set, harder to change.
We have 3 elementary feeding into the middle/hs. HAve 7 years experience in the HS, the SAME elementary feeding kids that were the bullies 7 years ago when my oldest was there are currently students from the same elementary feeding into the middle/HS wrecking havoc on the other two schools that seem to produce much nicer kinder kids. Is it the elementary schools themselves or the parents raising them?</p>
<p>SCARSDALE, N.Y. The privileged teenagers at Scarsdale Middle School are learning to be nicer this year, whether they like it or not.</p>
<p>English classes discuss whether Friar Laurence was empathetic to Romeo and Juliet. Research projects involve interviews with octogenarians and a survey of local wheelchair ramps to help students identify with the elderly and the disabled. A new club invites students to share snacks and board games after school with four autistic classmates who are in separate classes during the day.</p>
<p>And to combat feelings of exclusion, the Parent Teacher Association is trying to curtail a longstanding tradition of seventh- and eighth-graders showing up en masse Monday morning wearing the personalized sweatshirts handed out to the popular crowd at the weekends bar or bat mitzvahs.</p>
<p>The emphasis on empathy here and in schools nationwide is the latest front in a decade-long campaign against bullying and violence. Many urban districts have found empathy workshops and curriculums help curb fighting and other misbehavior. In Scarsdale, a wealthy, high-performing district with few discipline problems to start with, educators see the lessons as grooming children to be better citizens and leaders by making them think twice before engaging in the name-calling, gossip and other forms of social humiliation that usually go unpunished.</p>
<p>lotsa luck…while this may work in “urban” districts as mentioned in the article, we havent found it particularly successful in suburban affluent enclaves where the parents place a huge priority on “popularity” and emphasize that to their little darlings…</p>
<p>when the parents start behaving as “better citizens and leaders” maybe, just maybe the kids will follow…otherwise, towns like Scarsdale are basically wasting their time and energy IMO.</p>
<p>edit: and most of the mothers I know would NEVER tell their kids it wasn’t appropriate to wear the sweatshirts on Monday morning to school; too afraid of not being their kid’s “friend” instead of parent…and if it was them, they’d wear the symbol of popularity as well…</p>
<p>So true…insecure mothers teach their children that self-worth is defined by having Things others don’t, instead of Accomplishments and Character. </p>
<p>Great program in Scarsdale, but will the mommies and daddies stop flaunting their own expensive toys to raise kinder kids?</p>
<p>There is a lot LESS clique-ishness in my kids’ suburban high school than there was in my old one, just one town over, in the late 70’s. I think part of the reason is that our district is very mixed - both ethnically and socioeconomically. Very poor to very rich and everyone in between, with immigrants from China, Korea, India, Central and South America. I think one reason the kids here are fairly accepting of each others differences is that they’ve been exposed to them since they were little. In my day anyone who was the least bit different, or who (god forbid) decided to break out and show a bit of individuality was shunned or worse. This isn’t to say there’s not the occasional bully or clique, but in general it’s pretty good, and that goes for most of the parents as well.</p>
<p>I agree: I see a lot less meanness and cliqueishness in my daughters’ high school today than in my own high school circa 1980. The sheer nastiness and cattiness that I remember from the “mean girls” back then…<em>shudder</em>. But my daughters haven’t had issues like that, even the one who definitely marches to the beat of a different drummer.</p>
<p>They’re relaxed about differences in race, sexual orientation, etc., and they feel free to hang out with male friends without the kind of ■■■■■■■■■■ “oooooh, A likes B!” commentary of my era. High school still isn’t a picnic, but it’s better for them than it was for me.</p>
<p>I love this story. When my kids were little, living in an affluent, fast paced world with sophisticated kids, the greatest compliment anyone could pay my kids was to tell us they were nice.</p>
<p>D’s school has several things along this line. They frequently sponsor speakers who encourage inclusion and acceptance, have a character building program that is required participation and a leadership/character day in the fall. Guess what? The school is still full of cliques, gossips and “mean girls & guys”. The school does all of this “window dressing” but fails to see that the administration’s favoritism and nepotism trumps it all. I won’t go into the numerous examples I could give, but D learned that the only way to go was to “kiss up”. This isn’t really her nature, but at her school it’s a necessary skill. I am counting the days until graduation…</p>