Grad party dilemma

<p>My daughter graduated from college this past June, and since her college was out of state and a distance from my siblings, I told family members that we would have a "party/picnic "over the summer to celebrate, since many of them could not make it out to graduation. But now, daughter (who, understandably) is a bit stressed over finding a job and leaving college behind, didn't really care whether we had one or not (but said if I wanted to, OK). Husband was same, not really enthusiastic, but would go along with it. My family is large, I have 6 siblings all with husbands/wives/children (my parents died 4 years ago) who would have to make a weekend of it, as for most it would be a 4-6 hour drive. So, it is a large undertaking (I was thinking of tents for all the kids to sleep out, as we live on a farm). I was hoping for more enthusiasm from my own family! I kind of want to celebrate my daughter's achievement (she graduated with 2 majors, and Honors!) as well as see all of my family. My daughter is the oldest "niece" in the family, so the first to go away to college; I feel like I'll regret not celebrating now, while she's home, but maybe she doesn't feel the same. Anyone ever have this "letdown" at gradutation?</p>

<p>I'm sure it is different in different parts of the country, but I have never been invited to a college graduation party (not even a family one). Maybe a dinner out with immediate family in a nice restaurant, but that is it. Not that is isn't a good idea. But it sounds like it is your idea, and not anyone else's. So... if you want to do the work and all the organizing, and can do it without being resentful that the person it is "for" isn't that into it and the rest of your family isn't going to be a big help, then go for it.</p>

<p>^^^^Plus, with 6 siblings who all have children, are you going to be willing to "make a weekend of it" for all of their children's celebrations? If there are a lot of nieces and nephews it could get to be a really frequent thing that might get tiresome after a while.</p>

<p>But some families have yearly "reunions," so maybe not.</p>

<p>If I take balletmom at her word, that she wants a weekend party to celebrate the D's accomplishments, and not to brag, ( "she graduated with 2 majors, and Honors!") then I'd bow to the D's wishes. I'd be disappointed if it were me, but I see this as about the D, and not about me.</p>

<p>If I were doing it to brag( and I might be tempted) then I'd do it no matter what the guest of honor wanted. Under those circumstances it wouldn't be about the guest of honor; it would be about me.</p>

<p>If the person that it's "for" really doesn't want it, then would a host be doing it "for" the grad, or for themself?</p>

<p>I second the motion of smaller dinner with D, and close relatives.</p>

<p>No one in my nuclear family is into graduation parties. Dinner with nuclear family or a weekend trip together would be what we'd enjoy as a celebration.</p>

<p>We are the 'out of town' family members who travel to attend all sorts of extended family events.
We hosted one graduation celebration for all 3 of our children in 2007: #1 completed a dual degree program in 1/07, #2 completed college in 5/07, #3 finished HS in 5/07; we held the event in July.
We arranged a block of discount rooms with a local hotel near Metro, shuttle to the party site on Saturday, and had a post party brunch at our home on Sunday.</p>

<p>Not all of the extended family could make it, nor all of the out of town friend invitees, but all who attended enjoyed the chance to visit (with us and the DC area).</p>

<p>Now if I can arrange for all 3 to marry at the same time, we can do it again!!</p>

<p>How about hosting a family reunion and at some point during that event, taking some time to highlight the achievements of any family members who have accomplished something in the past year (graduations, college acceptances, awards, etc....). That way you could all see each other and still acknowledge your daughter's accomplishments without putting any pressure on her.</p>

<p>So many of the colleges have such elaborate commencement celebrations, that by the time it's over, the kids truly are done. I know that both of mine felt "celebrated out" by the time the three to four day extravaganza was finished at their respective colleges. Only the grandmas were able to attend in my son's case, and a sister in law who lived locally in my daughter's case, but that was ok with them. We didn't do anything else at home except for a quiet family dinner where we gave them a small gift.<br>
My son's friend did have a graduation party immediately following, where a lot of his neighbors and mom's close friends came, and it did seem a bit like it was the mom's party. That's fine- it was lovely, actually, but both of my kids felt that they had been honored enough.</p>

<p>Our later in the summer party allowed the kids friends to attend when they didn't have their own events taking place. It had been nearly 2 months since the graduations and they were ready for the 'reunion'.</p>

<p>^^ I like that idea, mominva. We may have sort of a send-off party for my son in late summer, as he'll be leaving home, most likely for good. I think a lot of his friends would enjoy chance to get together before so many go their separate ways.</p>

<p>Hmmmm, this is helpful! Yes, the party would probably be a "reunion" for me, with daughter's grad as an excuse! Busted!
Since i grew up in a large family, and we lost our parents fairly recenly, I felt the need for family around. Obviously, husband and daughter do not, and they are fine without the additional celebration. Obviously we did have enough celebration on the grad weekend, with daughter's boyfriend along, and it was enough. </p>

<p>So some day, i will just do the reunion, without an event to use as an excuse! Thanks for the clear headed advice.....</p>

<p>My parents were not in the greatest health, so my siblings and I threw a party in their honor after their youngest kid graduated from college. It was not a milestone anniversary, just a party to which we invited their siblings, other close relatives, and their good friends to honor them for successfully launching all their kids out of the nest. We didn't want to take the chance both would still be around for the next milestone anniversary and wanted to have a get-together that did not involve a funeral.</p>

<p>You could throw a "One Down, X to Go" party yourselves and invite your siblings and other family members to help you celebrate.</p>