I work in a smallish office. There are about 10 of us. We celebrate each others birthdays with gifts and a potluck. We have a holiday thing, but never meet outside the office. Our office manage apparently used to organize things like that but now she has three sites and is rarely here. We ask about each other’s lives. I consider them friends. They have met D16, I would love to ask them to come by her open-house type grad party this summer. I don’t want them to feel like it’s a gift grab. Can I casually say hey, if you’re not doing anything, want to come by, or should I leave it unless someone asks?
I would not invite them if I don’t socialize with them outside of the office. In addition, for events for my kids ( grad parties, D 's wedding), I invited only people who had a connection to the child whose event we were celebrating.
I would not invite them. They don’t know your D well and would feel obligated to bring a gift. If you want to share the special even with your office mates, maybe bring in muffins or a cake one day and say that you want to share your happiness at your D’s graduation with them.
Thank you both, especially @happy1. Good ideas. If they invited me to something I’d happily go, and if they had something and didn’t invite me that would be ok too. I don’t always do well with the social things. @-)
Do NOT invite them. It is your D’s party, hosted by you. Having met someone does not mean including them in events. Remember this when your D gets married also. It will be HER wedding, not your social event. Keep things centered around her, not you. The event is to focus on her, not become a social event for the office workers to socialize with each other. She does not need to spend her time meeting and greeting them, especially since they are neither a part of her personal past or future.
Do not feel any guilt if any of them choose to give a gift. Being happy about this (congratulations!) and telling your coworkers is fine. Do not feel embarrassed if some choose to give something. Allow them to share in your happiness. No excuses needed for not inviting them either. It is not expected for graduations or weddings. In fact, an unsolicited gift can be more meaningful because it shows the person cares enough about you to go out of the way when not expected.
You consider them friends so I would invite them. I would not send an invitation or anything, but when you are talking about graduation and/or the party, just ask them if they might be interested in attending your open house. If one/more seem interested, then let them know the date/time and that a gift isn’t expected. You could even post an open house notice on the bulletin board (with a note at the bottom that about no gifts.) It might open a can of worm where now outside invitations are extended for other events, but I don’t see a problem. One can always say no.
What does your D say? It’s her party, she should have final say IMO.
If she says she doesn’t care then sure, go ahead.
This says it all, IMHO. You get along fine at work, and even celebrate traditions together in the office. But these are all related to the office, not personal family celebrations or milestones. Leave it that way.
“just ask them if they might be interested in attending your open house.”
No one is going to say “no” to this question - they might however feel obligated because you put them on the spot.
The party is for your daughter and random people from work that she does not know (outside of your office) and you do not normally spend time with (outside of your office) just gets a whole lot of awkward when in the context of an open house where there are often lots of people to greet, spend time with and such.
Bring in party leftovers to the office and have your own provided “potluck” and then share with them how things went if they ask. If anyone truly wants to do it on their own, they will buy her a card or something.
I agree with the others to not invite.
When my S graduated from HS, we had an open house graduation party with 4 of his friends, so it was a pretty large event. I put an invitation in our break room at work. I didn’t really expect anyone to come, and to be honest I don’t even remember if anyone did. We didn’t socialize a lot outside of work, but sometimes I would attend a party at a co-worker’s home when they were selling stuff (Pampered Chef, Jewelry, Tupperware, etc.).
I had worked there since S started kindergarten, and over the years my co-workers had seen him grow up. Also, planning the party was a lot of work, and I wanted to be able to talk about it and not feel funny talking about an event I was hosting but wasn’t inviting them to.