Grade Essay 2 - 12! Can Knowledge Be a Burden Rather Than a Benefit?

<p>Can Knowledge Be a Burden Rather Than a Benefit?</p>

<p>In the past, scholars clawed their path to the elite, hungry for knowledge and its empowering abilities. However, over the centuries, knowledge has grown into more of an onerous duty than a proud, indispensible privilege. This tred is shown best through the alarming college admissions today, the plight of countries in need of our help, and the lack of spontaneity in our daily lives.</p>

<pre><code>Today, college admissions can be one of the most cumbersome tasks a high school student faces. Because knowledge has been dispensed to all, pristine colleges such as Ivy Leagues, are inundated with applications – facing the dreadful task of accepting a select few from the thousands that apply. Knowledge here is malicious to one’s academic future; his or her application has been rejected by the college of his or her choice, and there is no benefit whatsoever – the applicant loses a possible school, the school loses a component of knowledge that could have attended.

The burdensome nature of knowledge can be seen in U.S. regression from intervention in countries overseas. Third world countries in Africa, for instance, are in dire need of U.S. resources and aid; our knowledge of damaged markets, tribal tensions, and dependence on welfare surface in this argument, causing the United States to recede from helping the destitute.

Lastly, knowledge can be malicious and burdensome in that it makes the spontaneity of life trite. No longer is weather an unpredictable, celestial force; rather it is a series of scientific meteorological predictions and calculations characterized by weather forecasts, warnings, and local announcements. The stunning accuracy of these predictions may also trigger the decadence of other things in life with basis on probability and patterns. The question, “If I already know my favorite sports team will lose the final game in the series, why do I bother attending the match?” best exemplifies the sentiment behind the lethargy, the listlessness, the decline of participation spurred by foreknowledge, or simply, knowledge.

<p>As seen in the demise of spontaneity today, the recession from aiding the indigent overseas, and stressful college applications, it is evident that knowledge is of no benefit to modern society.</p>

<p>one sentence conclusion?</p>

<p>You only need 1 sentence conclusion tbh, and if you're running out of time/space it's like the least important part of the essay. Many 12/11 essays have 1 sentence conclusion</p>

<p>I give this a 7. This essay has excellent use of language and decent examples, however the examples weren't developed enough to depict knowledge as a burden rather than a benefit. The third-world country example feebly supports your thesis. The only part of that paragraph that pertains to the essay is the "knowledge of damaged markets...." Let's get real, third world countries look to the U.S primarily for economic aid and not for advice and information. The last example also weakly supports your thesis. You are suggesting that weather predictions and sports predictions are always true and that knowledge makes sports trite and curtails the spontaneity in everyday life. However, that statement is wrong. There are countless examples of upsets in sports, such as the 2004 ALCS, and of weathermen being wrong. In fact, sports predictions may actually contribute to making sports games more interesting and the opposite of trite. After all, most people love seeing an underdog win. Lastly, your conclusion ends with an extreme statement - "knowledge is of no benefit to society." That could not be any more false.</p>

<p>Haha thanks man. I think I should probably think these through before I take a stance. On the actual SAT essays I get an 8s. Not quite sure how to develop the idea though? do you want me to elaborate on my point by linking together my ideas? This is the second time I've heard that and I'm not quite sure what it means...</p>

<p>By developing your idea, I mean briefly stating and summarizing it so the reader knows what you are talking about and then clearly stating it's significance and how it supports your thesis.</p>

<p>For example, in your second paragraph, a stronger statement would have been "Thus, the knowledge of top schools and getting into such schools is a burden because it forces many kids to devote significant amounts of time to studying and schoolwork in preparation of applying to top schools. This causes more stress for the student because it takes time away from doing fun, social activities such as hanging out with friends or going to the movies."</p>