Grade my essay please!!

<p>SAT ESSAY
“Is it true that when we most need advice we are least willing to listen to it? Or is good advice always welcome?”</p>

<pre><code>When human beings need some semblance of advice, they foolishly ignore any advice that is given to them. George Bush, one of the most castigated Presidents in United States history, was in desperate need of advice relating to the Iraqi War, but when counsel was offered, he rashly chose to ignore the viewpoints that could aided his presidency. Winston Churchill, who unlike Bush, is revered by the majority of the universe, stupidly discounted the opinions of his advisers regarding Churchill’s decision to appease Germany.
Although history is replete with examples of remarkable individuals choosing to ignore advice when their need is most prevalent, the story of George Bush stands out. George Bush idiotically propagated an abominable war with Iraq because of his belief that Iraq was in possession of nuclear weapons and was planning on using them to attempt to annihilate the United States. Bush heedlessly held the notion that the war was necessary because of the “apparent” danger to the United States; however, Bush was in desperate need of advice because there was little to no threat against the United States. When Bush’s advisers approached Bush with the opinion that Iraq was not a credible danger to the United States, Bush obstinately ignored the advice. Like a lion fighting an ant, Bush senselessly fought the meek country of Iraq, in spite of the input he had received from his advisers.
Another world leader who is maligned for imprudently devaluing the guidance of his advisers is Winston Churchill. Before the atrocity that was World War II was initiated, Churchill carelessly attempted to assuage Germany through the acquiescing to the demands of Germany. Churchill moronically believed that transferring the Sudetland to Germany would ensure a lasting peace in Europe; unfortunately, Churchill never came to the realization that it was critical he receive guidance. When Churchill’s advisers decided to dispense their input out of fear that Germany would not be pacified, Churchill recklessly disregarded his adviser’s opinions and continued his policy of appeasement. Similar toa teenager ignoring the sagacity of adults, Churchill undervalued the advice he received, satiated Germany’s appetite and encouraged the carnage that was WWII.
One monstrous fault of human beings is their inability to receive any semblance of advice when their need is most obvious. Sadly, the examples of Bush and Churchill doggedly rejecting the consultations from their advisers when their need was most prevalent caused thousands of deaths and chaos throughout the world. Akin to a baby bird leaving the nest without the help of its mother, both Churchill and Bush “left the nests early” and both were unable to fly.
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<p>This is not my opinion. It is just how I created this essay to answer the question</p>

<p>Other than a few grammatical errors, i think your essay is well thought out! For example, “he rashly chose to ignore the viewpoints that could (Have) aided his presidency”. I can see your vocabulary stems from SAT guidebooks? haha. Anyhow, they were used appropriately. Your metaphor about the lion fighting an ant can be enhanced by having the lion fight an army of ants? The resistance in Iraq exists as sporadic (individual and spreadout) cells. For example, random suicide bombings and bomb attacks on American soliders. So the “lion” which is the USA gets bitten and bruised by the multitude of ants which is not enough to kill the lion but sends a message across - DONT MESS WITH ME!.</p>

<p>Yea, that’s my 2 cents worth man. Your a better writer than me. Very clearly thought out! If possible u can help me grade mine too? I grade urs a 10-11</p>

<p>Yea sure, I am more than happy too grade urs. I appreciate your response, so it is only fair that I help you</p>