Grade my essay please

<p>Prompt: Is conscience a more powerful motivator than money, fame, or power?</p>

<p>Conscience is a crucial motivator to succeed in live and to act well. Several examples from history and current events demonstrate that.</p>

<p>During WWII there were two nuclear weapon projects: Manhattan project and another similar from the German side. In both groups the scientists were feeling bad to use their knowledge in building a weapon of mass destruction. In the Nazi side, Heisenberg, who was the leader of the project, told Niels Bohr everything about the project and that Germany should win the war. Bohr, who was Jewish, escaped to the United States and told the Manhattan project’s scientists about Heisenberg’s plan. This information encouraged the scientists because they knew that what they were doing was good, but they did not know that Heisenberg had been leaded by his conscience to leave the project. USA built the bomb and this was a crucial event on the war. Thus, the conscience encouraged the Manhattan project’s scientist to build the bomb and discouraged Heisenberg from continue with the project.</p>

<p>Similarly, it is demonstrated by the actual president of Uruguay that conscience is more powerful than any other force. The president of Uruguay gives almost all his salary ti the poor, lives in a very austere house, eats what it is only necessary without any fancy banquets, and drives a very old car. Even though he is the president of Uruguay and has the power to promote corruption or to increase his salary, he does not do it because he thinks that the rich should give everything they have to the poor. Therefore, money is not so powerful as conscience is for him.</p>

<p>After a careful analysis of WWII and the president of Uruguay, conscience is, indeed, a more powerful motivator than anything else.</p>

<p>Sit down with tutor or a really good native speaker and work on your style. It’s very awkward in a lot of spots. Just one example: “feeling bad to use their knowledge.” That’ll take you as far as a state university, usually, but it’s no good for honors, merit scholarships, or any of the better SLACs.</p>

<p>Also, try not to overgeneralize. You have just a few examples. They demonstrate that conscience can be a powerful motivator, but not that it is “a more powerful motivator than anything else,” which comes off as a general claim about human nature.</p>