Hi! Can someone please grade my essay out of 12 and give me pointers on how to improve my score? Thanks so much!
Prompt: Should people take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their communities or the nation in general?Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue.
Throughout history and literature, there has been many examples of people who took responsibility and solved other's problems because of it. In the play Macbeth, Macduff kills the tyrant Macbeth to solve the problems of his country. In American history, Shirley Chisholm, a woman's rights activist and a member of Congress, campaigned strongly for the Equal Rights Amendment during the 1960s and 1970s.
In the play Macbeth, Macbeth kills the previous king, Duncan, and becomes king himself. He becomes a tyrant, killing all of the people who disagree with him. Macbeth even goes as far as killing his good friend Macduff's entire family. He doesn't worry about the consequences of this, because he believed he couldn't be killed by anyone born naturally. Macduff then succeeds in killing Macbeth, because he had an unnatural birth, and avenges his family. Macduff took responsibility to fix this problem that affected not only his only family, but the entire country as well. Because of his own responsibility, he made the country a better place.
In the 1960s and 1970s, there was a strong campaign for the Equal Rights Amendment, lead by women's rights activists. One of the most well known women in the movement was Shirley CHisholm, a member of Congress. Chisholm gave many speeches advocating for the ERA, including a speech on May 23rd, 1969 titled Equal Rights for Women. In this speech Chisholm outlined why the ERA was needed, not only for women, but for all minorities as well. Although the ERA was not passed, Chisholm's speech created a new sense of spirit in women and minorities throughout the US, causing the activist movement to flourish in the 1970s. WIthout her sense of responsibility for the American people, women would not have the rights they do today.
Without people in society like Macduff or Shirley Chisholm, who not only understand change is needed, but also take it upon themselves to make change, society would be very oppressive and only those who agreed with the person in power should be treated fairly. Therefore it is important to take responsibility for one’s beliefs, because without someone fighting for a cause there would be no change.