grade my essay please!

<p>Question -Do changes that make our lives easier not necessarily make them better?</p>

<p>Essay-
Throughout the history of mankind, changes have been made that do not make our lives necessarily better. In American history, white supremecy did benefit a few people, but did not benefit everyone. The grow of fast food restauraunts have had many negative effects.
White Sumpremecy became an active idea while slavery and the “seperate but equal” laws were in effect. The concept of slavery was derived with white masters degrading blacks. Most black slaves were denied basic human rights - black women were repeatidly raped and usually had a child with their masters. Slavery did cause an increase cotton and tobacco output, which made is seem attractive to plantation owners. Obviously not everyone benefitted from slavery, especially the black slaves. Likewise, the Jim Crowe Laws better knwon as the “seperate but equal laws” denied blacks their basic freedom rights even after the Civil War, to ensure whites of their eminence. The Jim Crowe Laws didn’t allow blacks the right to sit in first class train cars, and some blacks were not allowed to stay at a hotel reserved for whites only untill the mid 1960s.
One modern day convenience is the fast food restauraunt. Now that more Americans are on the go, having a quick transportable meal seems more favorable. Research has shown that American obesity is at incredible high levels. Fast food restauraunts are extremely unhealthy. The food is high in calories and very fattning. A Big Mac from McDonalds contains half the amount of saturated fat a one should consume in a day. Consequentially, more Americans are having hearth attracks and higher cholerstrorel levels each year. Critisicm from the media has allowed a few restauraunts to change their menu and include healthier meals such as salads and lower the fat content in some items.
Changes that are suppose to make our lives better are not necessarily good for everyone. As the examples white supremecy and fast food restauraunts, convenience does not outweigh the concern of the human people. </p>

<p>this is the essay on the 2nd practice test of the blue book</p>

<p>bump pleaseee</p>

<p>Poorly constructed intro and conclusion. However, the structure is there, and you do elaborate on your examples. You make some hindering spelling and grammar errors, but as whole the body is fine. I think another point is needed to really make the essay work though- it just seems… short. I’d give it a 7-8/12.</p>