Grade My Essay -----PLEASE!

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p><strong><em>PROMPT</em></strong>*We often hear that we can learn much about someone or something just by casual observation. We are not required to look beneath the surface or to question how something seems. In fact, we are urged to trust our impressions, often our first impressions, of how a person or a situation seems to be. Yet appearances can be misleading. What ?seems? isn?t always what is.</p>

<p>Is the way something seems to be not always the same as it actually is? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.<strong><em>PROMPT</em></strong></p>

<p><strong><em>MY ESSAY</em></strong></p>

<p>Although I cringe at hearing the trite expression, “don’t judge a book by its cover,” I must admit that the saying does hold much truth in that we must look beneath the surface, because the way something appears is not always the way it actually is.</p>

<p>Like many others during the year 2000, I was very excited about this promising new technology called, “the Internet”. Everyone was amazed by the Internet’s power, and its ability to turn investors into millionaires. Although I was young at the time, I do remember the insane amount of capital people were putting into Internet-based companies (including my neighbor, who sold their car in order to accumulate investment capital). News reports commented on the “undefeatable nature” of internet companies, and one report even said that the U.S. economy was “perfect” and a recession would never occur again.</p>

<p>2001 changed all that. The once "perfect and “undefeatable” companies came crashing down, and along with them, the investments of millions of Americans. At first, economists predicted that a recent catalyst destroyed the market, but later investigation revealed that the internet-economy had actually been failing for quite some time.</p>

<p>The huge amount of capital being poured into these stocks only painted a thin picture of success that masked the true inefficiency of many internet companies. Although the economy seemed “undefeatable”, it was actually failing for months.</p>

<p>Although it has not happened yet, a similar theme of appearances and reality has started to emerge in another economy: China’s. Currently, the Chinese economy is exploding with growth rates of 10% per year. Investment has begun to pour in from millions across the world who are exuberant to join the trend of foreign investment. The evening news has showered the Chinese economy with such praise as “unbelievable” and “miraculous”.</p>

<h2>But is this trend only skin deep? Although it appears great on the outside, what is really hidden in the depths of this economy? Although we will not know for some time, I can assure you that my neighbors will not be selling their car anytime soon.</h2>

<p>The auto grader for the online course gave me a 10 but I’m not sure if I trust it completely.</p>

2

<p>Great writer’s voice, very lively with good word choice, sentence variety.
When you mention yourself in the internet description, you place yourself there in terms of age, so it’s very honest.</p>

<p>I’m no machine, so if it were me I’d favor you strongly for using examples from technology and the economy. </p>

<p>Carrying through with the neighbor selling the car was mighty fine.</p>

<p>Using something that hasn’t happend yet (China) to prove your point was kind of brave/risky but you did all the things necessary to show you were aware of that, including using rhetorical questions and saying, “Although it has not happened yet…”</p>

<p>If I were cranky and grading these forever, I’d like you for keeping my interest with worthwhile examples and good writing.</p>

<p>So I"D give you a 12. Anybody would give you at least the 10 just b/c it’s SOLID in style. I think these auto-online scorers might use a template.</p>

<p>BUt I personally liked the maturity of content, coupled with writing style that was clear-as-a-bell. I admired the China example as a risk. Perhaps another scorere would have been nervous to use an example that hadn’t happened yet…so that’s the only dicey thing. I happend to like the risk, so from me: 12</p>

<p>Fortunately, for the real test as you know, I’d only get to put “6” and there’d be a second scorer. Figure my 6, plus another person would have to start at 4 but more likely 5/6.</p>

<p>So there ya go. Count on a 10, and it’d be justified to get an 11 or 12 fpr tjat essay.</p>

3

<p>Wow! This is an excellent, excellent essay Jlime! If the reader knows anything about style or organization, you will most definitely get a 12 (provided you produce the same level of work tomorrow…or whenever you’re taking the SAT). Great job.</p>

4

<p>A little short and simple, but the examples are good.</p>

<p>Also, don’t make 2-sentence paragraphs. Just combine with a previous paragraph.</p>

<p>10</p>

5

<p>i like it. i agree with the above person except id give it a 11
i think you got the writing section down, focus on other sections of the sats…</p>

6

<p>It looks pretty nice. I just had a quick question: What do you guys mean by saying he/she has excellent style? Can you give some examples please, because i’m wondering how I can get my essays from 10’s to 12’s.</p>

7

<p>Skateboard, there’s something called “writer’s voice” where you read and can almost hear the person talking. When you read it, you can almost hear somebody saying the words in your ears. It doesn’t just lie on the page like words on a page.
They write as if they feel comfortable inside their skin, and that pen is just scratchin’ away and they’re enjoying the spirit of communicating with another human being.
They imagine there’s a meaningful audience reading the thing. Not a mean nasty scorer with a whisker where it shouldn’t be, but their very favorite teacher or b.f./g.f. or the grandma that loves them and cares to hear what the writer wants to say.
A bit of excitement, energy is put into the writing. Joyful, almost.</p>

<p>You know it when you hear it in music. It’s the best stuff. It’s Jimi Hendrix on the guitar, a unique special sound that couldn’t be anyone else but his.</p>

8

<p>skateboarder…</p>

<p>the way i learned how to write with more style is to read more and then try and emulate the way the authors write, not really copy them but try and tap into their mindset. </p>

<p>a great book for this is “the world is flat” by thomas friedman. It is a very complex economic book but he writes it in almost like a sophisticated-casual way so that it is easy to understand and fun to read.</p>

9

<p>good essay, 11 or 12</p>

10

<p>probably a 12. just dont use “although” so much</p>