GRADE MY ESSAY! please

<p>assignment: Is growth necessary to a happy and productive life?</p>

<p>essay
<strong><em>TESTING OUT TO SEE IF AN ESSAY WITH 1 EXAMPLE IS GOOD</em></strong>
(done in 18 min):</p>

<pre><code> As a little kid, my dream had always been that i will make enough money for my family and those whom i cared about by becoming a professional skateboarder. Everyday, i had practices, slowly improving. This improvement, or growth, always brought me happiness because i was one step closer in reaching my goal.
Skateboarding was already part of my life when i was only ten years old. At first, i would not even be able to ride a skateboard normally, always leaning back too much and slipping off the skateboard with much force.Coming home with minor bruises and bloody scratches on my elbows and knees, i was always greeted by my mother, who would say, “Whatever happens, don’t give up yet. The time will come when you will feel the satisfaction of what you had done”. At first, i didn’t really understand the deeper meaning, only that i shouldn’t give up yet.
My practices continued. As i started to be able to ride a skateboard without falling, i would run to my mother and explain what i had done. My mother always had a smile on her face and kept saying, “good job, now keep practicing and get better”. I was very happy about receiving these compliments. At that time though, i never realized that my “growth” from pracice was directly influencing my “happiness”. It wasn’t until i was 13 years old, when i first realized about it.
When i was 13, I encountered one of the greatest skaters of all time, Tony Hawk. Admiring his swift turns and sky-flying jumps, i asked him to teach me how to skate like him. In my surprise, he had actually explained me the basic footworks, body adjustments, and the vision, where to look. He watched me practice for a while, trying to help me out each time. Finally after two hours of sweaty, hell-like practice, i completed a trick that i saw tony hawk doing. To me, that was like being able to fly after watching a bird fly by. I was greeted by tony hawk afterwards, and he complimented me, just the way my mother has always done to me. Surprisingly, he gave me his skateboard as a reward. That was like receiving a golden sword from george washington. i was astonished. i realized that practicing and learning something new will bring me happiness.
Ever since then, i have always followed and employed the concept of practice makes happiness. I have used it mainly in academic, when i would study to get smarter and earn higher grades, thus making me happy. Not only this but growth can bring happiness in many fields, ranging from technology to sports. It is everywhere. That is why growth is necessary to a happy life, without it, happiness will never be seen or felt.
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<p>Needs another example and a more clearly defined thesis. You do not present any clear, definitive answer to the question in the beginning. I think you should do an SAT essay in this format:
P1: Broad Intro, talk about the assignment in a broad sense. PRESENT A THESIS.
P2: Example 1, preferably one from Literature or Media. Prove thesis.
P3: Example 2, any kind works. Reiterate the proving of the thesis.
P4: Conclusion. Wrap it all up and make sure it is coherent.</p>

<p>Oh and I would say your essay would be an 8.</p>

<p>thank you for your advice.
i wrote another essay, different prompt.
is it better?
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