<p>Please Grade,and give feedback!
Prompt: is solitude necessary for people to achieve their most important goals.</p>
<p>The art of composing music takes many hours of strenuous work. Famous composers like Johann Sebastian Bach and Ludwig van Beethoven are both famous for the works they created. Ludwig van Beethoven took 4 years to compose the famous Symphony #5 and Bach took months writing Pachebel Canon. It is a necessity for music composers to obtain solitude in order for them to compose compositions.</p>
<pre><code>Ludwig van Beethoven wrote many symphonies throughout his life but he is known for Symphony #5. The symphony was eventually played in Vienne an de wien in 1808. The Works of Beethoven by Mark Willington describes the many components, which are used in writing symphonies: Chord harmonization, Rhythmic patterns, sustaining the melodic line and much more. Mark willington states that in order to correlate all these components the composer must have total concentration. Beethoven was in solitude for four years writing this symphony that is four hours long. Obtaining Solitude Beethoven achieved the concentration that required him to write Symphony #5.
Another famous composer like Beethoven, J.s Bach is known for the many concertos, sonatas, and organ works that he composed throughout his life. J.s Bach was not only a composer but also a musician. The most famous work of Bach is Pachelbel Canon, which became famous because of the soothing harmonization that it possess. J.S bach did not only compose this song he presented this piece to Leopold, the Prince of Anhalt-Köthen(province in Germany). J.S bach took six months composing this piece and took 2 months perfecting it with his quartet. Again, it is portrayed by J.s Bach that it is a necessity to obtain solitude in order to achieve.
Writing and playing music requires great concentration and dedication. When people are in solitude there are no distractions that inhibits them from obtaining their goals. As shown by Bach and Beethoven solitude is a necessity to achieve goals.
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<p>4/6. 8/12. Keep the examples out of the thesis and write a more general one tying to the prompt. Some English could be better. “The most famous work … which became famous because” more variety in terms - renowned perhaps? “rhythmic patterns, sustaining the melodic line and much more” *many, and parallelism issue. “when people are in solitude” solitudinous.</p>
<p>(8-9)/12
–dont write “much more” in your list but write “etc.”
–write numbers less than 10 in letters
–dont start a new paragraph with “another” it is too trite and you are not in middle school anymore
–Use varied sentence types and more COMPLEX sentences
–Do me a favor. Read your second paragraph sentences 1-5, after reading this to yourself is their any evidence or support of your thesis? Nowhere in there does it even mention details supporting your thesis. By reading 95% of a body paragraph on anyones essay, one should be able to identify what the author (you) is trying to say or is talking about in the overall essay. Clearly here one can read that paragraph, except for the last sentence, and have no idea what your main point is. You need to support your thesis more and dont add too many superfluos facts.
–your conclusion is compact and to the point and is very well written</p>
<p>We presume your first sentence is your thesis (for essays with such a start score the highest on the SAT): “The art of composing music takes many hours of strenuous work.” </p>
<p>Hm. We believe your thesis lacks the proper integrity and structure of an ideal thesis because it lacks an opinion pertaining to the prompt (solitude). Without an opinion, a persuasive essay these ultimately fails. With a failed thesis comes a failed essay.</p>
<p>Therefore, we candidly believe your essay to be a failure, giving it a score of -3/12.</p>
<p>SAT markers are likely to be wary that theses tend to appear as the last line of the introduction, OP is unlikely to lose marks for this.</p>
<p>Holistically, the level of critical thinking demonstrated achieves a score of ~4. While the OP’s use of detail is pleasing and enforces the argument, errors in his writing undermines this boost.</p>