Grade my essay

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Could you please grade my essay and provide me with feedback on how to improve? Thanks a lot in advance!</p>

<p>Topic: Is the past locked away from the present? </p>

<p>History is captured through people’s memories, books, films, and other media, present as a transcendent force in daily life. There is no clear boundary between the past and the present; the two are not quarantined off from one another. It is true that for both individuals and groups, incidents from the past continue to influence the present, both in a positive and negative manner.
The history of the United States has seen many terrorist attacks. There was the Oklahoma City Bombing by Timothy McVeigh in 1985. The World Trade Center was bombed in 1998 and permanently destroyed on September 11, 2001 when terrorists hijacked two planes and flew into the towers. The attacks on the twin towers were spearheaded by Al-Qaeda. Since then, companies such as Sigma-Aldrich and North Carolina Biological Supply track orders meticulously to watch for customers who are buying the necessary ingredients to construct a bomb. Airport security procedures now make the air travel procedure significantly longer for all Americans. More vigorous scanning protocol in addition to enhanced pat-downs double the time it takes for a traveler to get cleared. This is reflective of history. Devastating air attacks on the United States have caused U.S. airports to adopt extremely stringent security measures. In addition, a failed attempt to bomb a plane with liquid explosives has led to a ban on fluids on planes.
During the Vietnam War, the communist North Vietnam attacked the U.S. in the Gulf of Tonkin, causing Congress to issue the Gulf of Tonkin resolution, which practically provided the U.S. president with a blank check to escalate the war. However, after Nixon secretly bombed Cambodia, an uninvolved nation, Congress passed the War Powers Act, which is still in effect today. This act requires the President to report military operations to Congress more frequently and seek approval for extended maneuvers.
History makes it clear that earlier events are not locked away in the past. As proven by terrorism in the United States and examples from the Vietnam War, incidents from the past continue to influence the present – sometimes positively and sometimes negatively. This effect is felt by both individuals and groups.</p>

2

<p>People who use historical examples generally don’t score well on the essay…</p>

3

<p>false… Although literary examples are preferred, personal examples are the ones that people generally agree are not as preferred.</p>

4

<p>Dont listen to that loon who said people who use historical examples dont do well. The example 6 essay in the collegeboard sat prep book is written with nothing but historical examples.</p>

5

<p>I’d be careful criticizing anything American, you never know if the person grading your essay might be some God-bless-America nationalist/patriotic quack who could easily decide to lower your score just for that (like the blank cheque for Nixon part). I’m saying this as an Asian living in Canada (so I have no reason to defend the US), but on my SAT essay one of my examples was the moon landing and I called it a “great victory for America” just to be on the safe side, haha.</p>

6

<p>Thanks! What score would it get?</p>

7

<p>Please help!</p>

8

<p>More grammatical errors

Run-on sentence. </p>

<p>I don’t think that it’s correct to say increased airport security was the result of “historical” events. It was a reactions to a very current event.</p>

<p>It sounds like you are trying to say that the experience of the Vietnam war has influenced how we are conducting the current war. That would be a more correct argument, and that’s what you need to elaborate.</p>