Grade my essay? :)

<p>PROMPT: What ar eyour thoughts on the idea that failure is necessary for education to take place?</p>

<p>Learning can only occur through experiencing a failure. By failing to reach a goal, a person is forced to stop, experience the fall, and learn from the fall in order to proceed on with his life and eventually succeed.</p>

<p>In literature, Janie from Zora Neale Hurston’s Their Eyes were Watching God experiences failure as she marries Joe Starks, who she thought would give her a romantic, loving marriage. However, as the marriage progresses, Joe does nto treat her as a person and thus this marriage results in a failure because Janie is not able to reach the desired result (a loving marriage). Howver, it is only through this failure that Janie is able to step back and reflect on thsi failure to learn and plan well for the future. Experiencing such a marraige with Joe provided her with a lesson she would have never learnt had she not married him- that money eventually corrupts and will lead to a disastrous marriage. She uses this lesson skillfully to succeed in her next marriage with Tea Cake, a poor vagabond. Sure enough, this lesson teaches her to marry Tea Cake and finally obtain the perfect, loving marriage she was looking for.</p>

<p>Just as marriage with Joe set Janie up fo ra lesson well learnred, so too did the Panic of 1819, which set the U.S. for a desire to create a better and more efficient government. The Panic of 1819 was a failure that resulted in bankruptcy, soup kitchens, and a massive numer of the unemployed. Because this failure resulted in so many downfalls, the Americans in this era, specifically Andrew Jackson and his supporters, sought out for something new that would “fix” this failure. Jackson and his supporters learned from the Panic of 1819 that the Bank of U.S. and the small group of elite would always corrupt the economic system to its downfall. Therefore, they took the learned lesson and used it to create a better plan for government, the Jacksonian democracy, which abolished the bank and gave immense power to the common people. Had it not been for the Panic of 1819, the failure, then the lesson about the dishonesty and the need for nullification of the bank and the breakdown of the elites would have never been learnt, resulting in no Jacksonian democracy, which might have resulted in the lessening of the focus on the common people. the failure gave the Americans, especially Jacksonians, a lesson that we benefit from today.</p>

<p>It is only through failures that we can learn something and eventually reach our goals, as shown through the failure of Janie’s marriage with Joe that resulted in Janie’s successful marriage with Tea Cake, and the failure of Panic of 1819 that brought about Jacksonian democracy and our emphasis on the voice of the common man today.</p>

<p>I’m hoping for a 10 on the real essayyy.
Comments on what to improve? Thankss.</p>

<p>the paragraphs are a bit long but they are very detailed.
i would maybe shorten the length and add another paragraph.
overall its really good and im sure youll get at least a 10.</p>

<p>anyone else? i’m sort of worried at this point :&lt;/p>

<ol>
<li>Your intro and conclusion should be the strongest and most captivating paragraphs.</li>
<li>Vary sentence structure.</li>
<li>check grammar. A few hard to find mistakes.</li>
<li>More active verbs. Active verbs capture a person’s eye.</li>
</ol>