Grade my essay

<p>The essay topic is from Janurary 2008, according to the CB website:</p>

<p>Is it always better to be original than to imitate or use the ideas of others?</p>

<p>Being unique and different is much more beneficial than being the same. Although some may feel that originality causes more stress and difficulty, it teaches anybody something new and possibly innovative.</p>

<p>In my job, I helped make Lego Solar Cars for young children. Since I had not played with Legos for over nine years, I was pretty limited on how to make the solar cars. I made my own sample Lego car while very few people were around, and decided to have people model the car after my design if they struggled to build a car and needed an example.</p>

<p>Unfortunately, my limited knowledge actually hurted me. The majority of people did not know how to make a Lego Solar Car and completely built their cars like mine. Because I was limited in knowledge, I could not encourage them to build something different. The kids, while coming out satisfied with their car, would not be able to think openly for themselves if I didn’t give them other ideas to show that there is more than one answer and they didn’t have to follow my plain design. One by one, each kid seemed like he was uniformly making factory made toys; the minority of kids who could think for themselves built cars I could never dream of and looked better and functioned uniquely and differently than mine would; the ones who made their cars differently benefited from their own creativity; I did not benefit from just suggesting people to copy the same thing.</p>

<p>Another example of being different are the songs of Japanese urban musician Michiko Ewana (Minmi). Unlike Japan’s pop scene, which relies on high pitch teenybopper teenage girls screaming towards childish tunes, Minmi blends the music of the Carribbean with the Japanese language to make a mixed dancable tune. Her song “Summertime” had Japanese people dancing to the exotic music of the Trinidad while wearing their kimonos, and holding colorful flags of a variety of colors. Her song “STEP!” included the dancehall music of Jamacia with women moving heartily to its catchy beat. Minmi, by being different, has given Japanese listeners something new and fresh to listen to, rather than mundane everyday tunes. By not following the current trends, Minmi has restored the confidence of the Japanese music industry by being innovative in the cultures of the Carribean and exciting listeners to this exotic music. </p>

<p>By being unique, we can see much more happiness and benefits. While it may seem unfamiliar, it does not mean it is impossible to be new.</p>

<p>Your essay is fine. Don’t expect people on CollegeConfidential to grade SAT essays in their spare time.</p>

<p>Either way, I’d probably give this an 11.</p>

<p>In your introduction you mention stress, difficulty, and new and innovative. So I’m looking for that in your body paragraphs.</p>

<p>I thought you were doing very well until you got to the part where the kids started to think for themselves and make their own. I didn’t see the stress and difficulty from lack of originality (your argument is kind of weird–it looked like it was mainly you who was getting the benefit of originality), nor how it was really beneficial to have new ideas. So I got kind of lost. You should more closely relate what you’re saying to your thesis.</p>

<p>2nd body paragraph: same thing. You could have talked more about the effect of the originality. </p>

<p>The question asks “Is it ALWAYS better to be original?” Make sure that you include some discussion of that in your essay.</p>

<p>Overall it’s good. But what you chose for support was kind of weird–they’re probably not the best supporting pieces of evidence, but you have only 25 minutes anyway. Here things about current events seem to be much more appropriate and if you know much about current events or history or modern life today you would have plenty to say.</p>