<p>Blue Book, practice test 3.</p>
<p>Statement : Is conscience a more powerful motivator than money, fame, or power?</p>
<p>Essay:
Conscience is a very powerful motivator. Though it may seem like money, fame, and power provide stronger incentive for our actions than does conscience, this is not the case. In his elaboration of the principles of utilitarianism, English philosopher John Stuart Mill saw importance in the power of the conscience. Similarly, modern-day philanthropists support the claim that conscience is a more compelling motivator than money, power, or fame.</p>
<p>John Stuart Mill, a 19th century English philosopher, popularized and elaborated utilitarianism, a philosophical school of thought. Central to his philosophy was the Greatest Happiness Principle, which stated that, whenever choosing what to do in a situation, one should always select the action that will produce the greatest amount of happiness in the greatest number of people. However, Mill wanted to discover what would motivate people to uphold his principles. His conclusion was that the principal and most powerful motivator (“The Ultimate Sanction,” as he called it) was the conscience.</p>
<p>Multiple issues face our world, ranging from widespread poverty to climate change. People often donate money to charitable organizations in an attempt to aid in the resolution of these issues. Some, known as philanthropists, go so fat as to donate millions of dollars to organizations such as Free the Children. These people are not motivated to do so by money–they are, in fact, giving their money away. Some even do so anonymously, thus relinquishing both fame and money. Their only motivator is their conscience; they are aware of the problems facing us and feel it is their duty to help.</p>
<p>Conscience is the most powerful motivator. John Stuart Mill relied on the conscience of others for the upholding of utilitarianism. Contemporary philanthropy also finds its motivator in the conscience. Without it, the world would be a different place, and almost definitely a worse one.
</p>
<p>So, what do you think? :)</p>
<ol>
<p>6/12</p>
<p>you have potential, just use more supporting evidence</p>
<p>6/12? Wow, that’s a lot lower than I expected…</p>
<p>I didn’t even notice that the first sentence of the intro and the conclusion were the same. Thanks for pointing that out.</p>
shiomi
September 6, 2008, 6:50pm
5
<p>I don’t think it’s a 6/12, it seems more like an 8, but not quite a 10.</p>
<p>Any suggestions about what I could do to improve?</p>
<p>And you’re right, anhtimmy. I didn’t come up with as many examples as I would’ve liked.</p>
junshik
September 8, 2008, 9:57pm
7
<p>first sentences of conclusion and intro are not exactly the same. Also, it does not hurt your score significantly that two sentences are the same. </p>
<p>4.5/6</p>
<p>sorry, i dont find these examples particularly convincing, especially the first one. u should explain more on why it is a BETTER motivator than fame/power/money rather than just saying that it IS the most powerful motivator. i would say 7 or 8. u guys are too harsh…lol</p>
Quix
September 8, 2008, 11:05pm
9
<p>Oh snap Homie, we got the same essay prompt! Check out my essay! Its “Grade my Essay Please” </p>
<p>Its probably a 9-10ish, its developed well and the structure is good, and the ending is decent.</p>