Grade my newest SAT ESSAY PLEASE!!!

<p>Topic: Is the world changing for the better</p>

<p>During the journey which we know as life, we have strove to create a more peaceful and resourseful world. Unforunately, the inventions and ideas we percieved as peaceful and resourseful have inflicted great pain to our most vulnerable and most important area- our health. After a careful analysis of the Acai Berry, the life of shi wung di, and the life of Ramire Husain, we can, without a doubt, conclude that the world is changing for the worse</p>

<p>In our fast food era, the human population is suffering from detrimental rates of obesity, heart problems, and the desire for “Six Pack abs”. To try and meet the needs of the general public, scientists are pursuing the creation of fad diets and supplement pills such as the Acai Berry. The RDA (Reveal drugs association) has chemically broken down the famed Acai Berry, a “healthy” supplement tailored to burn fat", and found the contents not only to be malicious, but also life threatening. In the RDA’s report to the public about the Acai Berry, they included statistics showing that nearly 5% of all Acai Berry users suffer from heart failure and 3% of all Acai Berry users have lost their lives due to the side effects of the acai berry. As the number of Acai berry automatons increase worldwide, we as a planet will experience devastating effects on our health. As it is evident, the Acai berry is gradually corrupting the health of many people around the world and is leading our world in the wrong direction.</p>

<p>During the 1750s, the Japanese Emperor Shi wong di conquered the ravenous mongolian hordes and the technologically advanced chines and place them under his control. This army was collectively known as the Red Mark because they were very ruthless and perfidious. Battle after battle, the red mark ruthlessly moved eastward spreading panic and chaos to soon-to-be conquered lands. In 1759, Shi Wong Di created the first major bomb made of gunpowder that could demolate a city the size of present day Washington DC. These bombs placed terror and fright in the hearts of millions of people across Europe and Asia. As one can clearly see, Shi wong Di has channeled the world into a negative abyss of warfare because he created an instrument of unparalleled destruction- the bomb.</p>

<p>In 1925, a brazilian doctor Ramir Husain invented the first steroid. His invention at first brought joy and fierce competition to athletes; but in years to come, the attitudes of athletes changed into disrespect and disdain followed. Sporting events were considered unethical due to the use of steroids. If it were not for his invention, millions of people would not have suffered and died from the deadly poisons found in steroids. As it is evident, Ramir Husains invention has led our world into a state in which we compensate our health for physical ability.</p>

<p>In conclusion, through the acai berry and the lives of Shi wong di and Ramir Husain, we can establish that the world is, indeed, changing for the worse. The spectacular inventions man has created may actually be detrimental for our and future generations.</p>

<p>LOL I see the acai berry ad all the time on the internet :)</p>

<p>10-11, With the conclusion instead of we can establish I would put “we can clearly see”</p>

<p>Also I would put quotations around the word spectacular</p>

<p>what do i need to do to improve to a 12?</p>

<p>Anyone PLEASE???</p>

<p>Grade it please im desperatee!!!</p>

<h2>11-12</h2>

<p>Like seriously, CHILL THE HELL OUT. I would never want such a hyper-intense student at my school.</p>

<p>I take the SAT next week, i have a reason!!</p>

<p>Lol what makes you think that you have priority just because you’re taking the SAT’s next week that thousands of people just like you will be taking?</p>

<p>good essay 10-12</p>

<p>Im not saying i have priority, he asked me why im freaking out, i said cause i have sat next week. pretty logical DERRR</p>