<p>The first essay I submitted in this forum had only one example, and I was told to include at least two the next time. I did. Please grade it and tell me how I can improve. </p>
<p>The prompt: Do modern means of communication make our society better or worse? </p>
<p>Improved means of communication is one of the greatest technological achievements that the last two centuries has brought mankind. However, apart from enhancing the transfer of information and broadening the scale on which people from different parts of the world are able to connect to each other, widely available communication technologies also erode traditional bonds and skills once perceived as crucial in human relationships. </p>
<p>An example of this is the debate concerning writers’ and especially novelists’ use of the social network Twitter. Critics hold that such easy access to means of sharing their thoughts eventually makes authors less productive by interfering with the ‘buildup process’, wherein observations, anecdotes and other material are synthesized to create works of literature. By sharing their every thought and observation online, writers unconsciously detract from their own productivity. </p>
<p>Another example, this time pertaining to human relationships, is the potential damage modern technology has on family bonds, traditionally regarded as sacred. Within my own family, I have observed that ever since my parents got ‘smartphones’, they’ve been talking to each other a lot less. I myself rarely find it in myself to go and converse with them where I could instead spend my time on the Internet, sharing my thoughts and experiences with strangers across the globe and reading and watching what they have to say. Although it is a very personal example, it can be deduced that many teenagers like myself are in the same situation, and while globalized communication opens new doors and presents us with the opportunity to fraternize and socialize across the world, it weakens the bonds between people who are meant to be closest to one another. </p>
<p>Harvesting the fruits of technology and using them to our benefit is, without a doubt not only very much possible, but also a necessity in this age when most affairs are conducted through virtual media. However, inhabitants of such a world where instantaneous sharing and wide-reaching networks of friendship are a quotidian reality should be aware of its potential dangers and strive to keep the integrity of their minds and relationships in the face of temptation from modern alternatives. If this can be achieved, modern means of communication will vastly benefit societies and be one of the most important driving forces behind forward progress.</p>