Grade My SAT Essay: When delivering a speech, should logic, emotion, or credibility come first?

<p>Here it is:</p>

<pre><code> A speech is a formal address to an audience; it is an address meant to persuade, congratulate, promise, or move- but what makes up a good speech, exactly? The credible value of Dr. Martin Luther King’s “Dream”? Or the clever mix emotion and logic certain to be present in a political discourse? When one examines the most famous speech of Dr. King and my friend, it seems that credibility is the most important aspect of a successful speech.
There are many who believe that the “I Have A Dream” speech was the most important part of Dr. Martin Luther King Junior’s Civil Rights campaign. This is because the content of the speech moved people to support the Rights movement, and fiercely encouraged them believe that it really was important for Blacks and Whites to have equal rights. This can, of course, be attributed to the CREDIBILITY of Dr King’s speech, as that aspect is what controls how much the audience believes in what the speaker believes in. If Dr. King had added more logic to the speech, it would not have touched people, and instead would have been informative, “common sensical,” and distant. Similarly, if there was more emotion, the audience would have understood what Dr. King felt, but not FELT what he was feeling.
One of my best friends may also testify that credibility is the most important feature of a successful speech. Recently, Rachael ran for the position of secretary in our school’s student council. She is the perfect candidate for secretary, with a personality tailored to the position and the popularity needed to win a biased crowd. Rachael didn’t win, though. In her speech, she boasted proclamations of every much-costing change she would make to the school, from phone chargers in lockers to new desks in every room. Instead of helping her campaign, as Rachael had expected, however, these wild promises hurt her reputation. The body of eligible voters saw through Rachael’s false vows, and ended up voting for the other candidate because they didn’t trust that Rachael was truthful about everything actually doable by an eighth grade secretary. Rachael’s opponent won by adding believability to his speech- since his speech was credible, the student body DID believe, and ended up seeing through his eyes.
A wise man once said that “Credibility is someone else’s idea of what I should be doing.” A speech is meant to persuade the audience, so this is the characteristic of credibility that makes it more important than logic or emotion. One may believe that credibility is not valuable in a speech, but when “I Have A Dream” and my friend’s secretarial campaign are examined, it may be concluded that believability is vital in every successful address.
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<p>Thanks in advance…</p>

<p>With comments:</p>

<p>A speech is a formal address to an audience; it is an address meant to persuade, congratulate, promise, or move- but what makes up a good speech, exactly?[1] The credible value of Dr. Martin Luther King’s “Dream”? Or the clever mix emotion and logic certain to be present in a political discourse[2]? When one examines the most famous speech of Dr. King and my friend[3], it seems that credibility is the most important aspect of a successful speech.
There are many who believe that the “I Have A Dream” speech was the most important part of Dr. Martin Luther King Junior’s Civil Rights campaign. This is because the content [4]of the speech moved [5]people to support the Rights movement, and fiercely encouraged[6] them believe that it really was important for Blacks and Whites to have equal rights. This can, of course, be attributed to the CREDIBILITY [7]of Dr King’s speech, as that aspect is what controls how much the audience believes in what the speaker believes in. If Dr. King had added more logic to the speech, it would not have touched people, and instead would have been informative[8], “common sensical,” and distant. Similarly, if there was more emotion, the audience would have understood what Dr. King felt, but not FELT what he was feeling.[9]
One of my best friends may also testify that credibility is the most important feature of a successful speech. Recently, Rachael ran for the position of secretary in our school’s student council. She is the perfect candidate for secretary, with a personality tailored to the position and the popularity needed to win a biased crowd. Rachael didn’t win, though. In her speech, she boasted proclamations of every much-costing change she would make to the school, from phone chargers in lockers to new desks in every room. Instead of helping her campaign, as Rachael had expected, however, these wild promises hurt her reputation[10]. The body of eligible voters saw through Rachael’s false vows, and ended up voting for the other candidate because they didn’t trust that Rachael[11] was truthful about everything actually doable by an eighth grade secretary. Rachael’s opponent won by adding believability to his speech- since his speech was credible, the student body DID believe, and ended up seeing through his eyes.[12]
A wise man once said that “Credibility is someone else’s idea of what I should be doing.” A speech is meant to persuade the audience, so this is the characteristic of credibility that makes it more important than logic or emotion. One may believe that credibility is not valuable in a speech, but when “I Have A Dream” and my friend’s secretarial campaign are examined, it may be concluded that believability is vital in every successful address.[13]</p>

<p>[1]Your paper does not address this question, nor should it</p>

<p>[2]To balance the previous sentence, this one needs to introduce your friend and her speech.</p>

<p>[3]The reference to your friend comes out of nowhere. This really confused me for a second.</p>

<p>[4]Content could be ANYTHING, not just something related to credibility</p>

<p>[5]If you write “moved,” you imply that it worked through EMOTION, thus undermining your point</p>

<p>[6]This also sounds like he moved them emotionally</p>

<p>[7]You have not yet identified anything in his speech that suggests credibility.</p>

<p>[8]Don’t equate logic with information.</p>

<p>[9]Emotion IS feeling. This sentence makes zero sense.</p>

<p>[10]Forget reputation. Stick to the speech</p>

<p>[11]Repeat the “credibility” word to reemphasize your thesis</p>

<p>[12]This is distracting, especially since the Rachel section is long. Forget the opponent.</p>

<p>[13]This conclusion is just TOO long and says only the obvious. I’m yawning.</p>

<p>Wow. Thanks. How much would you rate this out of 12?</p>