Grade my SAT essay?

<p>Prompt: Can success be disastrous?</p>

<p>Despite the paradoxical nature of the statement, success often leads to disaster. Success is a fickle beast: while it is thoroughly rewarding for it’s benefactor, it can, in an ulterior fashion, plant the seeds for later failure. These seeds, such as greed, laziness and hubris, often leave the successful in terrible states. One needs to look no further than the fall of Rome and “The Scarlet Letter” by Nathaniel Hawthorne to see the paradox “success leads to disaster” illustrated. </p>

<p>The aphorism that history repeats itself is a true one; the plight of the Roman’s has repeated itself in Napoleon’s antics, Phillip II’s mistakes and King George III’s errors. By looking to the unfortunate story of the Romans, and by extension much of Europe throughout the eras, one can see that success leads to disastrous consequences. Rome, for much of the empire’s history, was vastly successful. The nation conquered and subjugated an enormous number of country’s in their imperialistic conquest. However, the success they found on the battlefield created the path to their downfall. Due to the success Rome experienced, the country manifested terrible characteristics. They started sending mercenaries out due to overexpansion and laziness. They started becoming complacent towards impending risks due to hubris. They kept trying to expand due to excessive greed. These misdirections eventually lead to a disastrous consequence: Rome’s downfall. </p>

<p>The notion that success leads to disaster is apparent not only in history but also in literature. Consider Nathaniel Hawthorne’s novel “The Scarlet Letter”. In the book, the character Chillingworth is hellbent (literally) on ruining Reverend Dimmesdale’s life. Chillingworth pursues this goal because Dimmesdale committed adultery with Chillingworth’s wife. This pursuit consumes Chillingworth as he becomes more successful in accomplishing his goal. Little does Chillingworth realize, his success isleading to impending disaster for himself. As Chillingworth accomplishes his goal, he grows old and decrepit, a physical reminder of the adage “success can be disastrous”. Moreover, when Chillingworth completes his goal, he dies, completely consumed by his pursuit.</p>

<p>“Stereotypes begin with a grain of truth, adage’s start with a boulder”. This notion demonstrates that the paradoxical adage “success leads to disaster” has some truth. This truth, evident in Rome and “The Scarlet Letter”, shows why one ought to be careful what they wish for. </p>

<p>Note: the last line is there because it was in the starting quote that they give you.</p>

<p>Please grade my essay from 1-12. Some criticism would be appreciated. Thanks for reading!</p>

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<p>bumpbumpbump… please?</p>

<p>I would give this essay a 11’ the introduction is perfect with the thesis statement and examples in it. The two examples are perfect with the exact info needed not more and not less. Both examples are very strong ones ; they express the topic strongly. The only problem is ur conclusion. I would have given you a 12 if your conclusion restated the thesis statement and examples again. The conclusion should be the restatement of the intorduction but in other words. If u can add a third example it would ensure you a 12. If u want me to grade you more essays. Don’t put them on the threads. Just send me a private message.</p>

<p>Thanks for the input! I feel that a main problem I’m experiencing is lack of time… I honestly don’t see how I can write about 3 examples in a 25 minute period. Unfortunately, my conclusion lacked as well because I wrote it in about 45 seconds… any tips on how to be more efficient with the pitifully little amount of time ETS gives us? Thanks a bunch, I’ll make sure to private message you if I need any more graded!</p>

<p>Siegi96, the only tip is practice makes perfect. Every week write an essay or even the same essay, and you will recognize that you finish earlier every time</p>