<p>Grade this plzz:</p>
<p>I pride myself on my exactitude. As you’ll see from this letter, I provide copious detail and try to be as precise as possible when describing the ways in which the Scarlet Letter spews words like “photodisintegration”, “antiprestidigitation”, and “pathologicopsychological” and insidiously twists them into catch phrases designed to further political and social goals wholly or in part through activities that involve force or violence and a violation of criminal law. The nitty-gritty of what I’m about to write is this: It always cavils at my attempts to transcend local prejudices. That’s probably because if the Scarlet Letter thinks its overgeneralizations represent progress, it should rethink its definition of progress. The Scarlet Letter has hatched all sorts of callow, vexatious plans. Remember its attempt to start wars, ruin the environment, invent diseases, and routinely do a hundred other things that kill people? No? That’s because the Scarlet Letter is so good at concealing its disdainful activities.</p>
<p>The Scarlet Letter denies that it has been pushing our efforts two steps backward. Its denials clearly contradict reports from eyewitnesses who saw it leveling filth and slime at everyone opposed to its ultimata. I’d like to see the Scarlet Letter spin its way out of that one. Some people don’t seem to mind that the Scarlet Letter likes to beat plowshares into swords. What a lascivious world we live in! I’m not the first to mention that I want to make this clear so that those who do not understand deeper messages embedded within sarcastic irony—and you know who I’m referring to—can process my point. To make a long story short, the purpose of this letter is far greater than to prove to you how slaphappy and confused the Scarlet Letter has become. The purpose of this letter is to get you to start thinking for yourself, to start thinking about how griping about the Scarlet Letter will not make it stop trying to acquire public acceptance of its mephitic belief systems. But even if it did, it would just find some other way to divert attention from its unprovoked aggression.</p>
<p>The Scarlet Letter’s position that it’s merely trying to make this world a better place in which to live is based upon a specious argument without any substantive basis. But wait—as they say on late-night television infomercials—there’s more: The Scarlet Letter has for a long time been arguing that its beliefs will spread enlightenment to the masses, nurture democracy, reestablish the bonds of community, bring us closer to God, and generally work to the betterment of Man and society. Had it instead been arguing that it has a hidden agenda, I might cede it its point. As it stands, the leap of faith required to bridge the logical gap in the Scarlet Letter’s arguments is simply too terrifying for me to contemplate. What I do often contemplate, however, is how I’ve long thought it would be fun to try to explain to it how it hopes to further its geopolitical ambitions by shocking and stampeding the public into accepting total fascist tyranny. For the most part, I’m just curious as to how deep the Scarlet Letter will have to dig into its profanity thesaurus to formulate a response.</p>
<p>There’s something fishy about the Scarlet Letter’s apologues. I think it’s up to something, something profligate and perhaps even aberrant. I would be grateful if the Scarlet Letter would take a little time from its rigorous schedule to express our concerns about its inconsiderate quips. Of course, pigs will grow wings and fly before that ever happens. My message is clear: The Scarlet Letter’s effusions are the fertilizer that grows metagrobolism to monstrous proportions. Stated differently, you probably can’t find one good reason why it should get everyone to march in lockstep with its merciless secret agents. No, scratch that. Let me instead make the much stronger claim that I can no longer get very excited about any revelation of the Scarlet Letter’s hypocrisy or crookedness. It’s what I’ve come to expect by now.</p>
<p>To put a little finer edge on the concept, I don’t need to tell you that the Scarlet Letter offers nothing but cheap insults and banal rhetoric. That should be self-evident. What is less evident is that there are many roads leading to the defeat of the Scarlet Letter’s plans to clear forests, strip the topsoil, and turn a natural paradise into a dust bowl through a self-induced drought. I think that all of these roads must eventually pass through the same set of gates: the ability to fight for what is right.</p>
<p>When a mistake is made, the smart thing to do is to admit it and reverse course. That takes real courage. The way that the Scarlet Letter stubbornly refuses to own up to its mistakes serves only to convince me that it thinks I’m trying to say that the Scarlet Letter is the one who will lead us to our great shining future. Wait! I just heard something. Oh, never mind; it’s just the sound of the point zooming way over the Scarlet Letter’s head. Pardon my coarse language, but the Scarlet Letter’s reports are devoid of any intellectual substance. Let me rephrase that: There’s a chance that the Scarlet Letter will rip off everyone and his brother in the near future. Well, that’s extremely speculative, but it is clear today that in order to convince us that everything will be hunky-dory if we let it foster suspicion—if not hatred—of “outsiders”, the Scarlet Letter often turns to the old propagandist trick of comparing results brought about by entirely dissimilar causes.</p>
<p>We find among narrow and uneducated minds the belief that the best way to reduce cognitive dissonance and restore homeostasis to one’s psyche is to siphon off scarce international capital intended for underdeveloped countries. This belief is due to a basic confusion that can be cleared up simply by stating that the Scarlet Letter has been trying hard to protect what has become a lucrative racket for it. Unfortunately, that lucrative racket has a hard-to-overlook consequence: it will practice human sacrifice on a grand scale in some sort of ill-tempered, repulsive death cult by next weekend. Ladies and gentlemen, the Scarlet Letter extricates itself from difficulty by intrigue, by chicanery, by dissimulation, by trimming, by an untruth, by an injustice. Many innocent people are being manipulated into manufacturing and compiling daunting lists of imaginary transgressions committed against the Scarlet Letter by the most sickening display of satanic cant that I have ever witnessed in my entire life. The Scarlet Letter has somehow made up its mind that its morals are Right with a capital R. It seems to me that what it is doing is jumping to a hasty conclusion in the absence of adequate data. A more reasoned analysis would reveal that I welcome the Scarlet Letter’s comments. However, the Scarlet Letter needs to realize that it has called people like me vile wankers, infernal spouters, and supercilious cheapjacks so many times that these accusations no longer have any sting. The Scarlet Letter indubitably continues to employ such insults because it’s run out of logical arguments. I suppose an alternate explanation is that the Scarlet Letter likes to imply that its decisions are based on reason. This is what its manifestos amount to, although, of course, they’re daubed over with the viscid slobber of anal-retentive drivel devised by its followers and mindlessly multiplied by yellow-bellied recidivists.</p>
<p>I obviously hope that the Scarlet Letter’s punishment fits its crime. Whatever weight we accord to that fact, we may be confident that the Scarlet Letter occasionally shows what appears to be warmth, joy, love, or compassion. You should realize, however, that these positive expressions are more feigned than experienced and invariably serve an ulterior motive, such as to shout direct personal insults and invitations to exchange fisticuffs.</p>
<p>We mustn’t let the Scarlet Letter fracture family unity. That would be like letting the Mafia serve as a new national police force in Italy. You’d think I’d be pretty well inured by now to the lunacies of the Scarlet Letter’s histrionics, but I have to say that we need to look beyond the most immediate and visible problems with the Scarlet Letter. We need to look at what is behind these problems and understand that our battle with the Scarlet Letter is a battle between spiritualism and neopaganism, between tradition and subversion, between the defenders of Western civilization and its enemies. With the battle lines drawn as such, it is abundantly clear that the Scarlet Letter is utterly delirious. We all are, to some extent, but it sets the curve.</p>
<p>The Scarlet Letter’s recklessness and greed have led it to lobotomize everyone caught thinking an independent thought. But it goes further than that; its allegations are not witty satire, as the Scarlet Letter would have you believe. They’re simply the wishy-washy ramblings of something that has no idea or appreciation of what it’s mocking. On a closing note, I hope that this letter, while incomplete, informal, and having no authority except its own inner strength and conviction, has clearly demonstrated to you that it’s always nice to be nice.</p>