<p>So, just got youngest off to college, and his just-graduated brother is home! So NOT the empty nest that I was hoping for.</p>
<p>Of course, I think that looking for a job should BE a full time job, and he is broke, and we are completely out of the handing-money-to-son business. OTOH, he’s REALLY making an effort to be pleasant and helpful, since he knows that he’ll be living at Nana’s in a heartbeat if he starts driving me crazy. </p>
<p>He graduated a month ago. He’s only been home for a few weeks, and the job search hasn’t really gotten going in earnest (he’s been making a website to showcase his portfolio, which in his field really does make sense).</p>
<p>So, if your grad is back in the house, how are you both handling it?</p>
<p>In June we had D1 for six weeks, then S1 for 3, and now we’ve got my nephew’s son for a couple of weeks. I expect them to help me out around the house–whether it’s cleaning toilets or clearing weeds–for about two hours a day to earn their rent. I certainly don’t hand out money but I do feed them whatever we’re eating (which is sometimes as little as a can of soup) and offer support in the job hunt. </p>
<p>And no mistake, this is a really tough job market! As an employer I see that. Our employees regularly express gratitude for their jobs–as their friends are laid off–and when we recently had a job opening–a warehouse job offering just a bit more than minimum wage–we had hundreds of applications. Two years ago, we were offering recruiting bonuses to our employees if they brought someone in… not now!</p>
<p>We are fine. D graduated a couple of years ago and had trouble finding a job. She finally got one at a college in the registrar’s office, but hated it. It didn’t pay well anyway. So she moved on to our local agency for mentally challenged adults working in a group home. She loved the job and her residents, but again, it didn’t pay well (certainly not enough for her to move out on her own). She then got a job with the county social services office making twice what she earned previously. However, she decided her heart was really with the mentally challenged population, so has returned to school to get her special education teaching certification. She is paying for that since she has saved up quite a bit and pays all her other bills (auto loan and insurance, health insurance, etc.) but I do not charge her room or board. She helps out around the house without me asking. I know she would rather be living on her own, but we live in a high cost of living area. </p>
<p>Right now she works part time at my job which gives her some income and she has been applying for special ed. aide jobs. Hopefully something will come of that.</p>
<p>So all in all, I don’t mind having her here at all. It is actually a help to me and I hope she will finally find her passion.</p>
<p>OP, from your comment about the portfolio, it sounds like you’re in the same boat we are – having a recently-graduated art or design major. It always tough for those kids to get jobs in the best of times, but even tougher in an economy like this one. :(</p>
<p>Our son graduated in June but spent the summer in his college town, since the 12-month lease on his off-campus apartment did not expire until Aug. 31 and we thought his job prospects might be better on the East Coast. So he just came home on Sept. 1 and all his “stuff” arrived via the moving company this week. Now, rather than having a chance to convert his empty bedroom into a home office (which we had planned for years!), we are currently tripping over all of his boxes and extra furniture-- which are taking up most of our family room and garage!</p>
<p>We are all trying to make this living arrangement work. It helps to know that he isn’t any happier than we are about his being unemployed and living at home again. I do believe that he is making a sincere effort to find a job, but there just aren’t any out there right now. He has been helping out around the house doing various odd jobs like yard work, hanging pictures, shopping and running errands for me, etc. </p>
<p>He has no spending money, so he has talked to us about painting our house for 1/2 of what we were going to pay a contractor to do. He’s also making arrangements with a local kiln to produce some small ceramic pieces that have sold well at art fairs, hoping that will give him a little income as well. If his job prospects haven’t improved in 60 days (by the end of October), he plans to look for a part-time job (hoping that some stores might still be hiring for the Christmas season) and to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity or a similar organization, to keep himself busy. We still want him to focus on finding an appropriate entry-level job in his field, rather than taking just any old job – at least for as long he can hold out.</p>
<p>In the meantime, I’m going to church and lighting those votive candles!</p>
<p>My daughter found a job locally, one actually in her field that she enjoys; but she is living at home. Working for a non profit will not allow her an apartment for herself and the job is just until the end of the year. She does not enjoy living at home, but we are all making the best of it. I have to remember she is an adult, not my young daughter. I have a bad habit of asking what time she is getting up, or other stupid mom comments.</p>
<p>There is a possibility that she will be asked to stay on for next year, but that will not be know until December. She still wants to live in another city where she had been applying for jobs since March. This past month she took a break from job hunting to focus on the current job. I think she is going to start looking again soon in the hopes that something comes up in the new city. Truthfully, I would rather she stay here and live at home for a while as I am not sure any job she gets will allow her to live totally on her own. While we have an empty bedroom here, it seems silly to spend everything she earns as well as receive some money from us to live. Besides, she enjoys cooking and I don’t; kind of like having my own personal chef!!</p>
<p>Mom2Three:
Where are you located? In some states, children can remain on their parents’ insurance until they turn 24. In MA, there is a program for young adults, up to 27, that is intended to be affordable. If these do not apply, look into COBRA.
We’re empty-nesters and our nest feels awfully empty right now.
What is your concern about your just graduated son? that you’re not having the house to yourself" That only one month after he graduated in the toughest economy in decades he still has not got a job? Or that you would like to suggest ways in which he can contribute to the household chores and perhaps to expenses while looking for a job?
For his sake, I would suggest that he take up some kind of work so as to give structure to his days and for him to gain some experience while also earning a bit of money. Actually spending all one’s time looking for work can be demoralizing rather than empowering. Still, one month after graduating is early days yet.</p>
<p>Our son is aging out of our family health care in Dec. He is a grad student FT for next two years. School offers coverage that is totally insufficient, 25T max coverage per year.</p>
<p>I could buy him COBRA but it is about $450/month, way too much. Also, since my employer self insures, I cannot keep him on policy to age 30 as NJ allows.
I’ve surfed ehealthinsurance.com and found some possible policies…about $100-200/month for high deductible plans. He is healthy so we are just trying to cover large hospitalization bills. Good luck.</p>
<p>My new grad got a high dedudtible plan she found on ehealthinsurance.com. she is paying about $85/month. waaayyyyy cheaper than COBRA.
many states have health insurance plans availalbe for low income people.</p>
<p>Make sure you get and keep the Certificate of Credible Coverage for your son/daughter. This will allow coverage for pre-existing conditions and in some cases a lower rate since they had insurance but lost it.</p>
<p>Is the Certificate of Credible Coverage something that the previous insurer provides when kicking them off the old policy??? Like when son declines the COBRA, does he ask for that hunk of paper?</p>
<p>musicmom, when my insurance ended (twice in the past year) it was sent to me unprompted both times, but you can also call and ask for it be sent.</p>
<p>Actually, I lost my insurance last June after I graduated. I was covered by my mom’s employer, but I started a job at the same company and my own health benefits kicked in July 1. I had to get the piece of paper and send it back to the same insurance company, as a member of the same group and tier of coverage, because I switched from being on a policy under my mom’s name to being on a policy of my own.</p>
<p>In my experience, this is the hardest thing for them (anyone of that age) to learn. My own mother used to say that to be approached effectively, one should look at job-hunting as a campaign – unrelenting, frequent, determined, and disciplined. In great economic times, even. Being available is 50% of it. They seem to have a long learning curve when it comes to understanding that the college lifestyle of sleeping in until noon doesn’t cut it for job searches, with businesses opening up at 8 a.m. with a stack of emails and faxes from craigslist responses awaiting.</p>
<p>(I’m lucky with D1, very lucky; she’s beginning first full-time job across the country in 2 weeks; but sibling habits are not as disciplined, including for summer job efforts, so things may be very different for D2 in 3 years.)</p>