<p>This probably varies regionally, but I would love to hear your thoughts!</p>
<p>One the one hand: This is a major milestone and I know that many people who’ve known our child will be truly happy to hear about her graduation. On the other hand: I feel really uncomfortable with anything that seems like a request for money.</p>
<p>Our child is going to need to borrow a lot of money to attend college, and if some relatives wish to send gifts, they would of course be most welcome… BUT we absolutely do not want to make anyone feel they are being asked for a gift. We just want to share the joy.</p>
<p>What do you think? Do you appreciate receiving graduation announcements or do they seem tacky?</p>
<p>If you’re on the “yes” side, who would you send them to? I was thinking: all relatives, family friends who’ve known the child since they were very young, 1-2 of the parents’ closest college friends even though they may not have seen the child in many years.</p>
<p>If “no”, do you think there will be any relative or friends who will feel slighted if they know the child graduated but they did not receive any formal notification?</p>
<p>I think it is fine to mention when you call for other things or in the Christmas newsletter if you send one.
I think announcements are tacky, invitations are fine.
If you are having a celebration party that you would like to invite people to, by all means, enjoy!</p>
<p>I’m on the NO side. I have never received a graduation announcement, ever, from anyone. Family and friends who are close enough to care know that the kid is graduating. I think that an announcement strongly smacks of a gift solicitation, even if it isn’t meant that way.</p>
<p>Since sending announcements is, in my experience, simply not done, I cannot imagine anyone feeling slighted not to receive one.</p>
<p>Some relatives will send gifts, no matter what.</p>
<p>We haven’t sent any out and won’t in the future. First, they are expensive, and second, everyone on both sides of the family and our close friends already know when our children graduate. We have never received ANY graduation announcements, and I’ve never even thought about it. I think with e-mail, Facebook, and digital photos, the “we want to let you know” purpose of the invitation is irrelevant now. Also, when I was coming along they were graduation invitations, not announcements. Now that many high schools distribute tickets for graduation, those students can’t invite many, if any, people outside their immediate families, so the invitations have become announcements. I think that makes it look more like “We can’t invite you but we want you to know.” <wink, presents,="" wink=""></wink,></p>
<p>Still, if I received an announcement I wouldn’t be offended at all. I just wouldn’t send a gift unless it were for a family member or the child of a very close friend.</p>
<p>My mom sent out high school graduation announcements. They seemed to be well received, they had a senior pic and the family liked getting them. I don’t think I got any money from relatives who didn’t come to the grad party, so it would seem nobody felt terribly pressured. It’s not unusual for us to do the announcements and it is understood it’s not for gifts. Our list was about the same as yours. </p>
<p>For reasons I don’t understand, college graduation announcements are different and are not done in my family. I guess it could come across as gloating since my cousins and I are the first ones to go, and there is a kid vs adult dynamic in play there-- I think the family is okay doing that sort of thing for the kids in the family but by college graduation you’re not considered one of the kids anymore. </p>
<p>While we have received some graduation announcements, I would never send any out to the general public. I feel they are basically a solicitation for money. I did make a couple on my computer for each kid and send them only to grandmothers, mostly because the one kept asking when she would get an announcement. Of course they were invited to the graduation anyway, so it was mostly to keep them happy. Otherwise, I just don’t see the purpose.</p>
<p>I asked about this last year, was pretty surprised how many people thought it was tacky or gift grubbing. But I sent out 6 anyway, ordered some nice ones online and just sent them to a few select people.</p>
<p>I am with Runs WScissors. I do not think it is tacky, but I bought the smallest (10) pack and will send it out to the two friends who used to give DS hand-me-down clothes when he was small and who listened to my angst while HS was going badly for DS. And to 3 of my siblings and my mom, The others I’ll put back for clutter for DS to throw away when he gets old. I just threw away mine that Mom had saved. Made me smile, but I don’t need to see it…40 year reunion coming up. . … back on topic, my family likes to get actual mail that isn’t a bill and this is an easy way to do it. We and they know no gifts expected. </p>
<p>We sent out announcements when my D graduated HS in 2011. We only sent them to the people we were inviting to the party and that covered grandparents and others who cared about the formality of things. And even then, we didn’t send them to everyone invited to the party, primarily based on expense. Facebook works well to mass invite classmates and more casual friends in a less formal way.</p>
<p>I’d be a “no”. I did make (I thought) some cute invitations with various pictures of the graduate from young to current… Sent those to our immediate family even those I knew wouldn’t attend. They did send checks, but they would have anyway :-). </p>
<p>THANK YOU everyone!! I actually think this may be a regional thing. Some people from very different parts of the country encouraged us to send them, but am glad to see that many of you feel more the way we do. Maybe the “no” camp are mainly New Englanders? @Consolation, you’re from my area and this is what I thought, too… it seems sort of tacky! (But as I said, some wedding customs from other parts of the country seem that way to me, too, so I think it’s regionally cultural and absolutely NO offense intended to anyone for whom this is normal!)</p>
<p>Never having been in this situation I did not want to omit something important!</p>
<p>If we do end up having a party, we will send out invites to this same group, which will serve as announcements as well.</p>
<p>Thank you all so much for your input! This forum is invaluable.</p>
<p>Late to the party as always — Our oldest struggled mightily to finish college and we were overjoyed to celebrate, but shared your misgivings, and there was no party to invite people to. So what we did was make a card on shutterfly, and used pictures from throughout his college years (only 3 or 4) and had a thank you/announcement card sent to our friends and family. Since most grads have their cap/gown early, we took a photo of him in his and used it on the back, with one of his favorite quotes. Inside, the card said something like thanks for all your help in getting me to this milestone…we’ll be thinking of you on the big day. don’t send a gift or mom will die of embarassment… I heard many compliments and his aunts/grandmas kept their thank you card as a memento. </p>
<p>I think your friends/family want to celebrate with you. People that mind don’t matter, and people that matter don’t mind.</p>
<p>We sent out a few high sch. announcements to family members but they weren’t formal looking. The announcements looked more like a postcard with the kids senior pic at the top. We sent out less than ten. We mostly did it for the picture since some of our family members hadn’t seen them in awhile.</p>
<p>We did not send out college announcements. My SIL sent out college announcements and grad school announcements which I thought was a little much. I did not send gifts.</p>
<p>We are in the deep south, and everyone we know sends out high school graduation invitations or announcements. I probably get about a half dozen to a dozen a year from friends and family. I guess there is a bit of an expectation to give a “little something”, but certainly nothing much. We also have a graduating senior, and we will be sending out invitations (don’t like announcements) to only those that we would actually want to be at the graduation. If those people choose not to give a monetary gift to my daughter, that will be just fine.</p>
<p>This is such an interesting conversation to me. I had no idea that other regions felt so differently.</p>
<p>To OP, I would do whatever is regionally acceptable. If you have never received an invitation or announcement, don’t send any out. But if you do choose to send some, my guess is the recipients won’t be offended and will simply choose not to give an money if they don’t feel so inclined.</p>
<p>I’ve learned on CC that different regions and different families have completely different ideas about gifts. In my family, it honestly just does not occur to you that someone would be doing something just to get gifts, nor does it occur to anyone to do something just to get gifts. I’d never heard of the term “gift grab” or “gift grub” before I came here. It’s not on the radar because it just doesn’t happen, it isn’t what’s done-- not in my family. You don’t expect a gift, and you don’t feel obligated to give one. You send announcements to close friends and extended family because they like to get the cute picture in the mail and to hear what the kids are up to-- Christmas letters are not done and would seem ostentatious and strange (why do we need an annual status report?), but the cute little cards with a photo for special occassions or accomplishments are a-okay and thought to be a bit of harmless fun as far as the kids in the family are concerned. </p>
<p>^^^^^This. Our family is spread out all over and I know they enjoyed getting the photo. We also enclosed a little news about the graduate…which college, or after which grad school/job, next steps, etc. I LOVE hearing from family about these major milestones.</p>
<p>Just the right timing. Another mom & I split the official school announcements, sending those only to those invited to the actual graduation. Other friends and family members will get invites to the party, which is really an excuse for everyone to see each other, friends from school to visit and start the summer.</p>
<p>I’ll be the first person on my dad’s side of the family to get a degree and the second person on my mom’s side (after my mom herself). My parents are thrilled and proudly bought a pack of announcements with all the trimmings. I have zero desire to get any gifts for graduation; my degree is a gift in itself. Having now read this thread, I’m worried that sending any of them to anyone will look like a demand for cash. If I ask them not to mail any announcements, they’ll be hurt, and our money will have been wasted. Any suggestions? </p>