<p>Yard signs. Yes, that’s how the word is spread here for 8th grade, high school, and sometimes college. Then, you pop a $20 into a graduation card and drop it off. 
</p>
<p>I haven’t received an announcement for many years. I think we all sent them back when I was in school. </p>
<p>We are planning a family party for S’s college graduation. We’d like to say no gifts on the invites. Do you have an opinion on the wording or what you think when you see that on an invite? I usually think “good, don’t have to worry about that”. Followed by “hmm…but I still feel like giving something”. </p>
<p>I’m finding the FB comments pretty funny. Um, lots of people are not on FB, surprise! Of my kid’s grandparents, none are on FB, and only one of three uses email. Of the six primary (an actual sibling of myself or Hubby) aunts and uncles, only one is on FB. One Great-Grandparent, she doesn’t own a computer. Not a single one of these relatives lives within 350 miles of us, most live significantly further than that. So announcements are not unusual in our family. No gift is expected, and we will send a cute photo card and personal message. And since D14 is graduating with both a HS diploma and an AA within 7 days of each other, both accomplishments will be celebrated in the announcement, and a mention of where she is going to university.</p>
<p>That being said, the announcement will only go to close family members and maybe 3 good friends who live a distance away. Also, not on FB. We will not be having a party, other than a family dinner out, and maybe she’ll get together with friends. </p>
<p>"think the milestones in a lifetime can bring distant members back together to celebrate and reconnect. "</p>
<p>I think some of this may also be related to size of family. Both my H and I have small extended families. Our parents, his siblings and my sister. There’s no broader range than that. I have 2 cousins I wouldn’t know if I tripped over them in the street and he’s distant from his cousins too. Sending an announcement to them would come off like a gift grab. It may be different with larger families. </p>
<p>We ordered the smallest # possible and sent only to grandparents and H and my siblings. Kept the remaining one or two as keepsakes. S does not want a party, as D had and we respect that. Both sets of grandparents will be coming from the midwest to attend the graduation.</p>
<p>We only have like 5-6 relatives total on my dads side, maybe 6 total on my mom’s side. I will be the first to admit it is STRANGE, but we could go 10 years without seeing or speaking to them and they would still be excited to get an announcement-- we are happy to get things like that from their kids, too. It’s nice to know they’re still alive out there and are thinking of us even though we’re terrible at keeping in touch. Especially that Great Aunt in Alaska! I suppose it’s the same as how some families don’t mind getting Christmas cards from distant relations… we don’t do Christmas cards, but we do pics for milestones. They are not attached to gifts the way they are to other people, that connection just isn’t even there. People send cards if they feel like sending cards, it has nothing to do with feeling compelled because they got an announcement. </p>
<p>When we do get together, it’s like we were together all along. But, it’s just how our dynamic has always worked. Perhaps we’re very self centered people but we don’t keep in touch well with the few relatives that have left the area. Most have stayed in the immediate vicinity, those that left we only hear from every few years. </p>
<p>The only graduation gift to my kids that I want to solicit from family & friends is a “Like” on the FB announcement.</p>
<p>@psychmomma, how about this: we request the gift of your presence in lieu of presents. Or your presence is the best (only?) present “name of grad” needs to make his/her celebration complete.</p>
<p>I agree with the comment upthread about family not being on Facebook. None of my three brothers are, and my sister has an account, but never uses it. My mom cancelled her internet service after my father died. I can’t believe it is any tackier to send a personal note with a picture, than post something on social media where everyone can see it forever, but I have never understood the draw of FB etc and neither of my teens are interested.
My take away from this post, and from the one last year is that it depends on the dynamics of your family and friends. I have never viewed someone sharing a special moment as a request for a gift, but maybe I left them wondering where it was, lol! </p>
<p>I think it is region and family tradition specific, my FIL gets very angry if he does NOT get an announcement!</p>
<p>I sent some for my daughter’s high school graduation. It didn’t seem like a gift solicitation to me. Only a couple of people gave her gifts and they probably would have anyway. But I didn’t send any for her college graduation. The people who need to know, know. They can give her a gift - or not. </p>
<p>We got a few to send to family members (older generation) who expect them and to a few special people in D’s life, probably 6 total. Agree with other comments on FB. I don’t think it’s a good formal way to spread news because the people that would be on FB might not even notice in the midst of all the suggested likes and junk people post. Also from south. </p>
<p>However, I did not invite anyone outside grandparents to HS graduation and since their health has declined will not even try to invite to college graduations - one is very far and the other is just a mad house. I don’t see announcements as gift solicitation. I am very comfortable sending a congratulatory card if I don’t know them well enough for gift.</p>
<p>Well, here is a related but off-topic topic: graduation tickets. S only gets 3 tickets for his upcoming MS graduation (since it is journalism, it is a terminal degree). I was hoping he could get one more, since his godfather would like to come and <em>I</em> would like his grandmother to come. (It is only an afternoon, and we will be staying with her less than 1 hour away. She didn’t make it to his HS or college graduations.) Apparently there are usually tickets available, since many of the students are international, and others have already left to work at a job or internship by graduation. But S told me that people are SELLING them! Both he and I think that is a pretty rotten thing to do.</p>
<p>What are they selling them for? Is it something nominal like $5 or $10, or a huge sum? </p>
<p>Have your son contact someone at the college. Some kids do not take all of the allotted tickets, and at some places, they are given out. </p>
<p>@thumper1, I’m actually pretty much in agreement with everything you said.</p>
<p>I attended a huge HS, and we only got 4 tickets–only 1 grandparent got to come along with my parents and brother. My daughter, however, is in a very small school with a graduating class of 12, so we are able to have as many guests as we wish. I am certainly not outgoing or popular enough to have a “gaggle of girlfriends” to invite, and I’m sorry if I gave that impression. We have some family friends that we have been close to for many years. These are the ones I invited. Anyone that I assumed had no interest in attending, I definitely did not send an invitation to. As for email, I agree that is a perfectly good method for getting out information, but we are all products of our culture to some extent, and it didn’t occur to me to use email instead of a mailed invitation. Maybe I will try that approach with the next one.</p>
<p>FWIW, we have already heard back from 5 people we invited, and all are planning to come (graduation is mid-May). Only 2 are relatives. Like I said, I guess we are just strange here.</p>