Ok I’ll bite- not secret AT ALL.
If I were to list every single thing in my life I deferred or sacrificed in order to pay for my kids education, it would be a very long list. I would do it all over again of course- I don’t begrudge them a penny. But it would be a very long list.
So it’s no secret that the hoopla around graduation which might mean NOTHING to the kids, is a big deal for some parents. Nobody gives you an award for deferring home maintenance or skipping a vacation or taking on overtime or gunning for a promotion which will involve a much more stressful job but more money- so you can provide a college education for your kid. Nobody asks you to walk across a stage and get a handshake from a Dean or President for every year you spent your entire allotment of vacation days looking at colleges, or supervising field trips, or volunteering for some stupid middle school committee, or even just having to take three precious vacation days because your kid got head lice and had to wait three days to go back to first grade.
So I made no bones about it. College graduation was my victory lap, and I was going to enjoy it. And if it meant that my kids had to grimace while they went through the motions- so be it. In the end- we all enjoyed it, and the kids did appreciate us making a fuss over their day. But it was not a secret. Graduation was for ME, and I got my “moment” even though it wasn’t my degree, and even though I hadn’t shown up for a single class or lab or lecture.