<p>We are planning a party for my son. The caterer recommended a security person be at the party. There will only be 70 or so people there. My son has literally never been in trouble. Except for leaving wet towels in a pile on the floor, I have had no problem with him or his friends. </p>
<p>I am hesitant to hire this person. But, God forbid anything happens. We of course will NOT serve alcohol to anyone under 21. But the caterer said that they could hide something in the bushes. Some of his friends are invited, probably 10 or so, but mostly relatives, friends and parents of other graduates.</p>
<p>I won’t be able to see what, if anything, is going on in the front of the house as the party is in the backyard.</p>
<p>Once he (caterer) said that I thought of kids drinking and then having an accident.</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s really necessary…if you know your son and his friends. </p>
<p>Sit down and have a talk with them before the party about how you expect there to be no drinking if they’re underage. If they’re good kids, which it sounds like they are, they’ll listen. :)</p>
<p>Sounds more like a jaded caterer than anything else.</p>
<p>I think it’s excessive. We’ve had three graduation parties. Probably 100 - 150 people. We served beer and wine but kept it where the most people were (not out on the deck where anybody could get at it). The adults outnumbered the kids and we had absolutely no problems at all. You know your kid and his friends and I don’t think this means I am naive. I’m not saying my kids never drank but certainly not at a home graduation party with all these adults.</p>
<p>For my daughter’s sweet 16 at a hotel, I hired 2 local policemen as security guards. One was at the door and another at bathrooms. The guard by the door checked every kid’s bag before they went in or they left their bags by the door. No kid was surprised because they were forewarned before hand, and other parents have also done the same thing. </p>
<p>If your son’s friends are coming with their parents, then they are their parents responsibility (they could go home with their parents if they got too trashed). But if you are going to have a lot kids without parents there then I would recommend to have a security guard because if anything should happen you would have done everything possible.</p>
<p>Our local police suggested having someone at the door, too, to collect bags. I guess they think kids will bring it to the party. Maybe we shouldn’t be serving any alcohol to adults either. It’s just one more thing to worry about. Ten kids wouldn’t be so hard to watch, but we’ve got around 100 on our list. I’m starting to feel sick…</p>
<p>Uh, not to be naive, but we didn’t even think of this…we are planning a luncheon BBQ for about 50-60 family and D’s friends…guess it’s something we need to discuss…</p>
<p>If the word is out that you will have a local police at the party, kids would be less likely to try anything, after all they wouldn’t want to get their college acceptance rescinded.</p>
<p>This would never have occurred to me, nor have I ever experienced it. We had a backyard party for my D’s high school graduation in ‘02. We had a table set up with sodas, punch, etc. We did also have wine for the adults. We invited a mix of relatives, family friends and kid friends. Most of the kids there were with families, as we tend to be friendly with our kids’ friends’ parents.</p>
<p>We plan to do something similar for son this year, but to me having security would be an insult to our guests. If I did not trust them I would not invite them! However, perhaps if we were having a larger number at a public place it would be different. We will have perhaps 60-75 at our home and we all will be mingling together. The party is planned for outside with a raindate for the next day. It will be a daytime party.</p>
<p>I have to wonder if the OP’s caterer gets a referral tip from his security connection.</p>
<p>Or maybe the caterer has just seen too many parties gone bad. I think if most kids are going to be with their parents, then it’s probably not necessary, otherwise I would.</p>
<p>When my sons graduated, we spent the summers going to graduation parties. The majority were held outdoors. So security would have had a really hard time checking bags since they can come from all sides. Nobody ever had security. (except for the parents present) I don’t recall anybody ever having a problem. These were daytime parties held for a couple of hours. Not to say there were no problems with underage drinking at graduation parties in this city. But those were when it was a kid only party in the evening and mostly when there were no adults around. </p>
<p>I agree with the suggestion that the caterer is getting a referral fee.</p>
<p>The caterer is a local person whom we have used before. He said he had a security person for his own son’s graduation, but that they had 200 or so people at that party.</p>
<p>I honestly would rather not have a party than check anyone’s bag. It may sound naive, but its something I wouldn’t do or have done to the guests. </p>
<p>Actually, as I am writing, I just remembered that I have a guest coming who is a retired NYPD detective and I guess I could get the word out, but I don’t even know that this is necessary. Just to look at this man puts one on their toes. Oh and my neighbor who is also invited is retired NYPD. </p>
<p>Parents and kids are probably coming together, but I would guess the kids have a round of parties to make that night. Most much more interesting to them than this one.</p>
<p>We have lots of family parties, attended by adults and kids. Never had a problem. We do not serve alcohol to the kids. I would not ever have my guests bags checked or have security walking around. </p>
<p>What if kids had alcohol before coming? Or went to their car to drink? You know your children and who their friends are. </p>
<p>If this was a wedding would you consider having your under-21 guests searched?</p>
<p>Is this party being held at your home? If so…would you be hiring a security officer if YOU were doing the cooking? If not, I wouldn’t.</p>
<p>If this party is at a hall of some sort and the caterer is the owner of the hall, I would go with what they say. It’s their property and you don’t want to be liable if there is damage.</p>
<p>We had a picnic for DD for her graduation. We had about 60 people here. No security guard…it was at our house. We had a sports team party…about 60 here…no security guard…it was our house and the other parents were here too.</p>
<p>BUT if it were at a hall and they recommended it…I’d hire the person.</p>
<p>We don’t serve alcohol to the adults when there will be many teens at a mixed-generation party in our home. Then if anything happens, it is very clear we didn’t serve anything to anybody. If families don’t like our hospitality, nuts to them. We make sure the food is good. </p>
<p>If anything happens that night, heaven forbid, to anyone who was party-hopping (including at your home), wouldn’t you want to be clean in terms of speculation/lawsuits/police? That’s how I weigh the risks.</p>
<p>If I were cooking I probably woudn’t think of hiring security thumper. The party is at home. (Tent, dance floor, DJ in back yard.) Its just something that wouldn’t occur to me. The idea came up because we are thinking about a valet. Our driveway is up a hill and parking would have to be down on the street. I am concerned about rain on everyone and the elderly getting up the hill also. I have to talk to the caterer again. I am confused as to whether he has someone who does both (valet/security) or he was just saying to hire security also.</p>
<p>I have to agree with paying3tuitions. We did not serve alcohol at our S’s party last year. We went to several graduation parties (more than a dozen last year) and only one served any alcohol.</p>
<p>I have never heard of this. I think the caterer is using what is good for a 250 kid sweet-16 at a hotel and deciding it limits his liability for any party involving alcohol and guests under 21.</p>
<p>I think your party sounds small enough and has enough adults not to worry about it, especially if your son and his friends don’t have any history of trouble. That said, you still need to be on your toes. Kids will hide alcohol in the bushes, and even the mildest teen can get a bit crazy around grad time.</p>
<p>In a couple years our street will have 4 teens graduating the same day. We are talking about having one big combined grad party, and maybe even blocking off the street (it’s a side street in a neighborhood, not a road that anyone needs to travel thru). I am already thinking that we might need to hire a duty-cop, because this could get very large. </p>
<p>But for your party I think you’re ok without security, the caterer is probably thinking of bigger parties and wilder kids that he has seen in the past. We had a very similar party last year with no “security” and no trouble.</p>