<p>Ah…the senior “beach week”, one of the worst ideas ever invented. Who started this and why? Who would RENT to these kids? The worst thing about it is that they DRIVE there.
Anyone who “trusts” his or her teenager is deluding himself or herself. (On the other hand, I have met parents whose kids were sufficiently asocial that they wished that their kids would do something fun like this!)
I would do the following:
Tell your teenager that he or she may go, IF he or she takes the bus or other public transportation to get there. Your teenager may be sufficiently embarrassed by this to choose not to go.
Do NOT pay for this. Tell your teenager that he or she must pay out of his or her own pocket.
Do not help the teenager find a place to stay, a bus schedule or anything; do not help with any logistics.
Consider bribing the teenager; tell him or her that your permission to go is contingent on his or her report card.
Insist on a parent meeting with all of the parents of the kids who are going, together with the kids. The parents should express their concerns at that meeting (about drinking, drugs, safety, driving, swimming when lifeguards are not on duty, health issues, legal issues, sexual issues, and anything else you can think of). Again, your kids may be sufficiently embarrassed by this requirement to give up on the plan to go.
Consider telling your teenager that YOU will also go to the beach, and that you will stay in separate quarters (if you can afford this and if you can get the time off work, that is.) Alternatively, get the other parents to take shifts.
Tell your teenager that he or she must call you, while there, three times a day and one of those times should be very late (2 AM or so).
If your teenager actually goes, pray, do yoga, or do whatever works for you to get through the week.
In terms of the legal consequences, my hunch is that your kid is a lot better off being 17 than 18, except as another poster pointed out in terms of obtaining medical consent. You should send a signed and dated letter authorizing medical treatment with your kid, along with all of your health insurance and contact information.
Good luck!</p>
<p>“On the other hand, I have met parents whose kids were sufficiently asocial that they wished that their kids would do something fun like this!”</p>
<p>Some kids aren’t asocial – they’re just giant nerds and friends with other giant nerds. I might let a group of nerds go on a trip, but not to Myrtle Beach. I think the location of the trip is a big deal. Senior beach week is all about lots of kids being idiots. It’s very hard not to get sucked into the culture of the place you’re visiting. Before you know it, your kid is being an idiot, too. Someplace like Disney World is NOT primarily designed for idiocy. Neither is, say, Paris.</p>
<p>I have avoided all of that (from high school beach vacations to college spring breaks) by offering D1 a better alternatives, so far it has worked.</p>
<p>My friends went away together without an adult at age 16 after GCSEs (end of sophomore year). Nobody got hurt. Not everybody got hammered every single night. Reading the ridiculously conservative (not politically) opinions on this board actually makes me feel sick to my stomach. For goodness sake, people, these are not 12 year olds, nor are they monsters.</p>
<p>I allowed D and her two female friends to do a 6 day, 5-night road trip in the Southwest over spring break of their senior year. Only one of the girls was 18, the others 17. They camped a couple of nights, but mostly stayed in motels. They had to check in with parents via cell phone/emails. The trip was a resounding success. </p>
<p>It seems to me strange to allow a child to go to college thousands of miles away at 18 - but not on a trip with a couple of buddies when they’re a few months shy of 18.</p>
<p>My biggest concern has been legal liability - not trust. I completely trust my son and his friends. I understand that he will not be any more mature on July 8th than he is on June 14th. I think the advice about medical release forms is a great idea and we will do that. I also like the comment that he can get into trouble in our hometown as easy as he can in Myrtle Beach. I did speak with the owner of the hotel who promised that he would call home before he called “the law.” I appreciate all the positive feedback and food for thought. I am glad that many of you also have faith in your kids. We will be letting him go on his trip and while we will have some restless nights, I am confident that they will return safely with no tattoos and a clean criminal record. I said to my son that some people think he is going to run off and get a fake ID so he can drink. He said, “Dad, I already got the fake ID. But it’s for the strip clubs!” (He’s kidding of course!!)</p>
<p>Just because I did not allow D1 to go to beach for a week with her friends, it didn’t mean that I believe my daughter is irresponsible or untrustworthy. She is the guardian for her sister. We have left them in the house by themselves ever since they were 16. D2 just stayed home by herself 2 weeks ago when there was a major snow storm. It didn’t even cross my mind that our kids would have parties or do anything inappropriate while we were gone.</p>
<p>I have seen unexpected things happen while traveling. The type of people one comes across is also unpredictable and many young people are very trusting. Also as young people there is often a herd mentality. What they wouldn’t normally do when they are by themselves seem like perfectly fine thing to do when there is a large group of people. How often have parents said that the problem of leaving a kid a home is while he wouldn’t necessary have a party, but when other kids found out about it then they just show up, before you know it, it’s out of control. Some kids even tell their parents, “I just invited few friends over to hang out, then people just kept on coming, and I didn’t know what to do.” </p>
<p>Maybe some parents are more confident of their kids, but I am not sure my kids at age 17/18 would know how to handle some of those situations by themselves. People keep on saying, “Oh, if you don’t trust them going away for a week, how could you trust them going away to college.” Very simply, college is a very controlled environment in the first few years whil they lived on campus - there is RA, dormmates, advisor(s). If/when things got out of control, someone would usually step in. I do believe there is a HUGE maturity difference between a high schooler (17-18) vs a college junior/senior, even a sophmore. Their ability to matigate risk is a lot greater when they have lived a few years on their own.</p>
<p>If it’s that important to my kid to go away with a group of friends, I would personally rent a house and chaperone them for a week. When I say chaperone, it would be in a very loose sense - as long as they didn’t kill themselves. It is something D1’s parents did for her friends. They had 10 kids to their ski house.</p>
<p>“as young people there is often a herd mentality. What they wouldn’t normally do when they are by themselves seem like perfectly fine thing to do when there is a large group of people.”</p>
<p>This is what would worry me about a traditional spring break or senior week destination like Daytona at the height of the season. Backpacking through Europe – no big deal. 5000 peers drunk out of their minds – not so much. My feeling is that the kind of student who wouldn’t be influenced by their peers in that situation doesn’t choose an Animal House spring break location anyway (I didn’t). I mean, there’s nothing to do at those places but get wasted and hook up. That’s the point. If you really wanted a week at the beach to enjoy the view and bond with your close friends, you’d choose a location without vomit slicks outside every door.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t approve of, or pay for, that kind of trip for a college student, either, but I wouldn’t try to prevent them from using their own money to go.</p>