<p>I need a sanity check from some fellow parents. My son graduates HS this June. He does not turn 18 until July 6th. He and three friends want to head to Myrtle Beach for a week on June 14th. I would feel better if it was after he turned 18. One of his friends will be 18. The other two will also be 17. They are all good kids but I remember when I was 18 and a “good kid”. I got into my share of trouble. I honestly believe that they will be well behaved though. The hotel they want to stay at will accept them with a $200 deposit. They do not want to wait until July citing higher room rates (still not too high though), more crowds, gas prices, etc. My question for the group - First, is there any LEGAL reason that I should be considering and second, would you let your child go? </p>
<p>What do you think they will be doing down there? Go to beach, watch TV, playing video, catch few movies? I don’t think so. Would they be going down there with fake ids? I think so. Could they get in trouble by having fake ids and drinking underage? I think so. If they were so unlucky as to get arrested, would it effect their college plans? I think so. </p>
<p>My vote would be no. My kid never asked for it. I don’t see the difference between age 17 vs 18. Drinking age is 21.</p>
<p>I would not allow ANY kid at 17 or 18 to go away for a week with their friends anywhere. They will not be watching movies or video games as the above poster has already mentioned. They go away to drink and party. It is the kids way of starting college drinking early. The risk at this age is too great.</p>
It depends on the kid. I barely trust my own kid when he leaves for school in the morning. But he’s now 18 and I don’t know if I could stop him if I wanted.</p>
<p>My buddy and I took the AMTRAK train from LA to SF when we were 13. I was going on overnight trips (primarily camping) with my friends at 15. I was driving to other states for overnight trips at 16. And I started college away from home at barely 17. I never took a drink until I was around 19.</p>
<p>At some point they leave home anyway.</p>
<p>Now I’ll admit, a destination of Myrtle Beach doesn’t sound entirely innocuous. But at 18 a kid is legally an adult.</p>
<p>I live about two hours away from MB and Myrtle Beach does get busy right after high school graduations. However, my older children have gone down there with friends as new HS graduates and never had any problems. Older high schoolers from this area go to MB all the time by themselves and parents don’t blink an eye. I’m not saying that MB is trouble-free, but if you’ve ever been down there during the summer, police presence on “the strip” is very high and they do a good job of keeping the kids in line. If you can’t trust your son in June, how can you trust him in August when you have to let him go to college where drinking will be an issue too? He can get into trouble just as easily at 18 as he can at 17, no matter where he is. </p>
<p>Do you know the name of the hotel where they will be staying? I might be able to tell you whether or not it’s a good place for them to stay - PM me if you’d like.</p>
<p>Wow, I am so new here (longtime lurker, though), but just had to reply as a mom of teens. I’ve had this conversation with so many other parents, and I just wouldn’t allow it. Maybe after he’s been away at college for a year, learned a few independent living skills, but not at age 17. On the other hand, my husband would probably say, “Eh, they’ll be fine. Probably get a wicked sunburn or something.”</p>
<p>Here in Maryland, most seniors head to the beach in Ocean City for a week after graduation. The Ocean City police do their best to keep things under control, but there is a fair amount of drinking. Ironically, in Maryland, the underage drinking consequences are more severe once you turn 18. I did let my daughter go with friends and don’t regret the decision. She stayed in a rental apartment, and the security guard actually kept checking up on them. The kids were mad, but I thought it was great. </p>
<p>I think it really depends on the kid. If your son has made good decisions up to now, he should be okay.</p>
<p>I appreciate all the input and welcome any more thoughts. I truly believe that there will be no alocohol. I have known two of his friends for many years and know one set of parents very well. I believe all they really want to do is get away from home and taste freedom. I think they want to hang out on the beach and watch the bikinis go by. I have at least talked them out of their original plan to drive to California!</p>
<p>Well … S turns 18 in April. He and his friends mentioned taking an across the country train trip the summer after graduation. No further “plans” have been made. I’m more concerned that the lack of planning may cause issues so I’ll want to ensure I understand that their really IS a plan. I’m also hoping to discover who’s going on the trip, although most all of his friends seem like reasonable guys.</p>
<p>I don’t see much of a problem with it. The only legal reason I could think of is that if he gets injured he wouldn’t be able to sign for his own medical care, but you could just discuss with him that if he gets injured, have one of his friends call you IMMEDIATELY, and explain how using the insurance card works in an emergency room (the worst that could probably happen is he cuts his hand or foot on something at the beach, so I don’t think you need to be concerned about major injury). If they behave inappropriately at the hotel (stumble aruond drunk, bother the guests) the hotel will call you right away, so really, it’s not as if he’ll be totally unsupervised. </p>
<p>I think they probably will go to the beach, watch TV, and hang out. Maybe they will get into some mild mischief, but you know your son best and if you don’t think he’d do anything really wrong, then he probably won’t. </p>
<p>My parents let me drive a group of my friends six hours away to our beach cabin for my 18th birthday alone, in THEIR car. They trusted us and I feel like I earned that trust and repaid it by taking good care of the property, the car, and my friends. Talk with your son. In a few months, when he’s 18, he’ll still be the same person that he is today. When goes to college, he’ll still be that person with even more freedom and even less oversight. So what difference will a few weeks make? Might as well let him go with his friedns before rates get up really high.</p>
<p>I don’t know about legal issues, but I would let him go. I hate the assumption that ALL kids drink. Many do, many don’t; you know your son and his friends. We live in a spring break destination and we see lots of sober teens and young adults having fun on the beach. I would make sure he has his medical insurance card, a signed medical release, and an emergency credit card.</p>
<p>May want to make sure he is not planning on staying at any of the hotels mentioned in this report; very little supervision IMO…</p>
<p>I would not let any high school student go anywhere alone…this has nothing to do with or without alcohol…decision making capability is just too underdeveloped…</p>
<p>You know your son best. In our neck of the woods most kids head off to the beach for a week after hs graduation, although those in larger group houses have at least one adult along. I do know of a group of four male seniors who went on their own to a hotel last year. All good, responsible kids. No problems at all. Again, go with your gut, although I’d be tempted to offer a long weekend as a compromise.</p>
<p>The 17-vs.-18 thing would not be a factor for me. His level of maturity is not going to change between June and July.</p>
<p>D and her friends from high school wanted to go on a big trip away to celebrate graduating from high school. Their first stab: backpacking by themselves throughout Europe–nixed by me unless they take a parent; cruise to the Caribbean–nixed by me unless they take a parent; trip to Hawaii–nixed by me unless they take a parent. </p>
<p>These are all good kids whose actions haven’t given me any reason to worry in the past. But just graduating from high school seems a bit too young to be doing that kind of vacationing. </p>
<p>(D ended up going to Hawaii with one of her friends and HER parents.)</p>
<p>My D and 3 of her friends went to Disney World after graduation. Some had not yet turned 18, but as long as the room was in the name of the 18 year old, Disney was OK with it. I was more comfortable with that than the beach. They did not have a car there, so relied on Disney transportation.</p>
<p>I’m another Marylander. My kid will be the third generation in our family to head to Ocean City after graduation. Does that make it right? Or safe? No. Just familiar. I may not sleep the entire he’s gone. But I do trust him.</p>
<p>I’ve answered this on another thread that has this same question.
For ME - yes, I’d allow it. </p>
<p>I myself traveled (barely supervised) to Europe at age 15. I know the ins and outs of the kinds of trouble I got into, and that my child could get into. I trust her. Though I know she’s also no angel. There HAS to be a time when we cut the cord. We do it in a minor way for college…and that’s just a few months away. This is a much shorter time span than college…and most WILL get into trouble in college. They’re pretty much “cooked” at this point…we don’t have a ton of control anymore. They need to be trusted to make good decisions. They won’t all do that…but it’s no different now that it will be in a few months. 17 versus 18 USED to make a difference because they could get beer/wine in some states. But…not anymore (right?). Nearly all of Europe allows drinking at 18 - if they were going to Europe THAT would be a difference for me (17 versus 18). But…in the US - let them have some fun alone, blow off some steam. What’s the difference in their being at a party in your hometown, spending the night with a friend, etc. They NEED to experience independence and know what it’s like to be presented with temptations versus rules. So this is a small dose for them. </p>
<p>I myself drove to Florida for Spring Break of my senior year. The worst trouble I got into was sun poisioning. And I’m no angel either. </p>
<p>As for the backpacking in Europe…yes, I already told my (18 year old) daughter she could go (only if we can afford it - if she picks a cheaper college). It was AMAZING. This girl who is ONLY motivated by things she loves (she’ll spend 10 hours writing a play for lit class, but will NOT study math)…got online and planned a route, found hostels, train schedules, costs…all in one night. These types of things CAN mature your kids.</p>
<p>Have a little faith in your kid. Could they get in trouble at the beach by drinking or other bad things? Absolutely. Could they do the same in your hometown? You betcha!</p>
<p>They’ll be off to college in a year, so if you can’t trust them now, when can you? My parents let my friends and I roadtrip when I was only 15(my friends were 18, 18, and 19) and I turned out just fine.</p>
<p>It is funny how different times are now then 30 years ago. When I graduated HS, the in thing to do would be to go to Europe, get a Eurorail pass and stay in American Youth Hostels carrying your belongings in a backpack. </p>
<p>After my brother’s graduation, he and his friend took my mother’s car on a cross country trip. These days, sending one’s child to Europe without being in a group or even sending them with a buddy around the country would be worrying for a parent.</p>