Am I alone in this? I find myself increasingly angry for all the missteps and stupid policies we have endured over the past 4 years – angry at the school, not my kid. Example: classes in his minor that he planned a long-term schedule around, only to find out those classes aren’t actually offered anymore, but the department “forgot” to change the website and his advisor only covers his major and isn’t expected to know squat about minors. Example: department showcase event that he did not get accepted to, but at least 3 students who are no longer even at this school AND they fell outside the deadlines had requirements “waived on review” because the professors said so. These and other things have me so angry in a cumulative sense and I know it’s not healthy and I’m trying to stop – but anybody else out there? Or am I nuts 
Funny that I should read this post today. Yesterday, our family drove 2 hours to attend an Honors College Awards Celebration that my daughter was invited to. She graduates in December 2016.
We got up early, missed church, and got to the noon event on time. She was never mentioned in the program. They gave Honors Cords to all the seniors and as the program progressed, we assumed she would be getting her Cords early.
No mention of my D during the entire program. Afterwards, she went up to the administrator of Honors College and asked. “Oh, you’ll get invited to this same program next year, and you’ll be honored then.”
Duh…
So yes, we as parents pay the tuition bills, support our kids through the adjustments of college life, and smile and nod as the policies of insanity mess with our kids’ efforts to graduate.
Thank you for letting me rant my frustration. And I hope you get some opportunities to release your frustrations. I followed the lead of my D yesterday, and decided I would be as upset or as accepting as she was. She was mostly just confused about why they even bothered to invite her in the first place. So I matched my level of frustration to hers.
How does your son feel about these frustrations? Do you want to make a fuss? Does HE want you to make a fuss? Or do you just need a safe place to rant? CC seems to be that safe place, so RANT away!
The showcase event was difficult – he’s the president of the professional honor society, so he was in charge of the whole thing. He was fine prior, after finding out his group was excluded (“that’s how it is sometimes” he said) but at the event, even he admitted he’d rather be elsewhere. His gf, God love her forever, put her arm around me and whispered “I hate them all too. I bought ice cream for us to eat later”.
Ranting. I am all about the ranting for about 3 more days…I want to fuss at Someone In Power but I know that’s just spitting in the wind. The school wants my money, not my opinion, and I get that. Mama Bear with claws out 
Oh my, having to RUN an event that you were excluded from is bad enough. To find out that the school bent the rules for others to be included…but they couldn’t bend the rules for you, but expect you to run the event and smile and be gracious. Wow. I can understand your frustration.
I hope you are able to RANT and get it all out now. Don’t let the stupid people ruin your joy on your child’s graduation day. Focus on HIS accomplishments and your pride in seeing him in cap and gown.
Would it help you to write an angry letter, then burn it in your fire pit?
Kids who are jerked around in this way may just want to take it philosophically–until they start getting pleas for donations as alumni. Then they might want to write a letter explaining why they won’t be donating.
D2 graduated summa cum laude and the announcer just forgot to mention that when she came up for her diploma. He also badly mispronounced her name. My MIL was furious and insisted on going downstairs (we were seated in a opera box) with the aim of making that man do it over and do it properly. OMG… With the help of a security guard, we managed to talk her down but I know she wrote them a letter. It was crazy but her anger helped to temper mine so I am grateful.
Really, they had some poor man announce everyone’s name when they could have had someone in each department say the names of students they actually know (and can pronounce) and then these gaffes would be less likely.
With D3’s school, (she is still a student), I keep wanting to give them money because they need it and it’s a great little school but then they’ll do something so stupid and unnecessary that it stops me. Case in point - I realized sometime last December that we hadn’t got a tuition bill for the spring semester. I called them. They told me that they had sent notices to each student’s school email address and they were responsible for it from there. Nice idea but how about some parental backup since we’ve been paying the bills before?
Also, we have had funds sent by a 529 account directly to the business office and they were misdirected by their mail room to D3’s student mail box OVER THE SUMMER when she wasn’t there. The school said nothing and she had some trouble registering for the next semester because her tuition wasn’t paid because the check had been sitting in the wrong place for months. Oy, beating my head against a wall…
mmmmm…here, students have to go and pick up a card with their name on it, and put the phonetic spelling underneath to hand to the speaker as they arrive at the platform. But there’s always yelling so I have never heard my kids’ names anyway.
when they call for money I hang up, they send the endless requests, I’ve always shredded them, but maybe it’s time for a letter.
For those of you who have experienced these problems, have you experienced bureaucratic problems all along or just at graduation? Do these problems characterize the school or are they unusual.
For D’s MM ceremony she had to cords to signify Summa but since she was officially graduated a term before the ceremony they mistakenly left it off the program. I was so happy with all the things that her department did for her that I did not give this a second thought. In fact this is the first time I gave it ANY thought since that day. The wonderful education was the important thing. Mention in the program? Nah.
In my experience, schools at every level are bad at logistical stuff.
When I was in college, my school once mailed me a letter over winter break, to my home address, informing me if the on-campus office where I could pick up my paycheck.
D2’s school was pretty competent. She had a cord at graduation too so it should have been easy to see but you have someone announcing more than 1000 names things are going to go wrong.
D3’s graduation will surely be interesting if we’ve had so many troubles and she’s only a sophomore!
Overall, we have been satisfied with ability to register for classes, advisement, professors in her major supporting her research, tuition payments being credited properly, and overall safety and such. There are a couple of major issues I would like to fight to improve, and probably will once she graduates.
I would say my D is satisfied overall with her college experience. She is sick of eating the same college cafeteria food every day, and I am sure some of the college policies have frustrated her. But she will most likely be one of those folks who keep coming back to campus through the years.
@powercropper something similar happened to my daughter midway through her grad school.She is one of the top students in her program and because of a clerical error, she was not included in the induction of a honor society for nursing students. She learned about it by accidents.The director corrected it , but it was past a deadline to be recognized in a ceremony.They assured her that she would be recognized the next year, along with the next year’s students.
That wasn’t acceptable to her so she fought it and won. It wasn’t so much about the pin as it was that she had worked very hard for her position in the class and she wanted the respect and to be sought after as a study partner and also to pad her resume as she was about to be applying for jobs as an RN while finishing the NP part of her studies.
I was glad that she managed to get it done.
As a faculty member who runs one of those departmental level awards ceremonies, we do mess up occasionally. This year, despite having her name on the program, one student didn’t get called up for her honor society award, and there was an awkward moment at the podium. Please remember that the people who do these things are human, and that often we are doing this with minimal budgets and institutional support, because we really want to support the students. I grow increasingly grateful for the students who make it a point to call or email me before the ceremony with their parents concerns because it causes us to be especially vigilant with the program.
When D graduated from college, H and I looked at each other and said, “Wow, this place is so perfect!” When S graduated from college, H and I looked at each other and said, “I can’t believe this is actually happening. This place has been so unorganized.” Now I must admit, it could have something to do with my D and S…