<p>You all will be proud to know that today at Target I saw the cutest grad party decorations, and (after fondling them for a moment) walked away!</p>
<p>Thank you again, one and all – those of you who validated me, those who validated D, and those who validated both of us. My original post was mostly just to see if we were the only family who’s ever experienced such drastically different visions of what HS graduation should be. Reading every word you’ve written, I’ve come to the conclusion that we were both being reasonable, and we were both being unreasonable, and that compromise and respect is the only way to get through it. </p>
<p>D and I have had a really nice weekend, without at all avoiding the topic of grad. Yesterday we had a wonderful manicure-and-brunch date with her BFF of 7 years (also about to graduate) and her mom. Graduation discussion, when it came up, was pleasant and relaxed. D and I have also talked at length this weekend about what I should wear to commencement (I am fashion-challenged, and she is my personal style consultant), with nary a tense moment there either. More than anything, I think she just senses that I feel much differently suddenly, and is accepting that with very good grace. I feel like I’ve gotten my daughter back, and she no doubt feels like she’s gotten her mom back. We are both getting some of the elements that we want, and we are both sacrificing some. She’s always been willing to give a little, and now I see that I need to as well. Peace reigns!</p>
<p>Regarding the desire to have or not have a party, when I graduated HS all graduation parties (from NHS members, jocks, stoners, those that attended voc hs) ALL were huge booze fests! (and I graduated when drinking age 21). Not having parents who would allow such an event, I simply told my parents I didn’t want a party. I did “allow” them to have a family picnic which I graciously disappeared from in early evening to attend the rounds of the above mentioned blow outs.</p>
<p>My d ditched the graduation party idea as well. As the summer wore on, she suggested could she have a going away party with friends also with family included. It was a compromise we all enjoyed the focus was not on her alone.</p>
<p>We had a couple of friends who opted to do that also. Then he parents did theme it to the university they were going to. One had a dress code of wearing red, black, white or yellow, the school colors, Bullet couldn’t get why they asked to wear those colors, than I told him it’s the school colors dummy! These parties are great because the kids were typically busy with working and so it was a mini-reunion and they all talked about what they were taking. Parents on the other hand were imbibing heavily because we all were staring down the face of the college bill that just arrived, and the logistics of how we were going to cram all their crap into the car!</p>
<p>Wow! After watching “Bridezilla”, I expected a very different stay. My D was not that unlike yours last year, and I didn’t know to expect anything different. she did walk in a cap and gown, took some casual pictures, and I did send out abort 10 announcements that included then. She did have a small going away party. Worked fine for us! I still have announcements and pictures (no cap and gown !) sitting on my chair…</p>