<p>Everyone has their own idea of grandparenting (I’m looking forward to my version of it), so I don’t really have any comment on this writer’s particular attitude about it. I was struck by the names, though. A grandmother named Adair writing about her daughter Morgan, her son-in-law Trevor, and their granddaughters Ryan and Maggie. All perfectly nice names, individually, but together they make this family sound like the cast of a soap opera.</p>
<p>I am over-reacting here but pleeze - a baby boomer grandma more worried about how the world perceives her and creating her role rather than focussing on the amazing good luck of having her grandchildren in close proximity. I suppose that it would not have been much of an article if she had written about that.</p>
<p>The word “grandma” can be defined 8000 ways. They can be cool, hip or whatever but I see nothing wrong with eventually being the grey haired grannie that bakes cookies and kisses skinned knees. I hope that I get the chance one day. Bring it on.</p>
That’s fine, but what happens when “G-Mom” is in her 70’s, and needs help or just wants company. Maybe then the daughter and grandaughters will just be too busy “doing their own thing.” I always think that the most important thing in life is the emotional connections we make, and what could be more precious than the relationships we have with grandchildren? I’ve always told my sons that I plan to spoil their children in a way I could never do with them, since I had to be “The Mom.” As the mother of sons, I would just LOVE to have grandaughters! And I’m jealous of my 50 year old sister who has a 1 1/2 year old grandaughter.</p>
<p>I picked upon that hugely ironic bit as well, sjmom. She doesn’t want to be this:
But that may be the only grandma Ryan and Maggie get to know 25 years hence when she wants some attention…by which time they may not care that much, and Adair may find herself
And this:
Including a black leather jacket for the two-year-old. I guess the reason the collection of TV actor names leaps out is because, well, the writer sounds like the matron of a soap opera. She’ll certainly get the grandkids attention when the executor is reading her will. (apologies to anyone with kids name Trevor, etc., or anyone who’s bought a black leather jacket for a 2-year-old-- no offense intended.)</p>
<p>I understand the modern “image” thing but the rest of the article is pretty sad. And what’s with “G-mom”…“Hi G-mom???” The saddest line was about how she had to add grandkids to her “to do” list. OOoooooo. Nothing wrong with grandmothers having a life of their own and a career even but this article made this writer sound quite disinterested and as if grandkids were an obligation or intrusion on her life. </p>
<p>I guess my kids are VERY lucky to have had grandparents on both sides who are REAL interested in them, though do not live near by. </p>
<p>By the way, they certainly weren’t called “G-mom”. One is MomMom and one is Grandma.</p>
<p>I thought this thread was going to be about the crazy names that some people use for grandma and grandpa! Since S was the oldest grandchild he set the precedent in this area. I think the grandparents were a little disappointed when they realized they were going to be Grandma X and Grandpa Y rather than one of those “endearing” names for grandparents you hear about. Not that there’s anything wrong with those!</p>
<p>grandchildren are on the same level as the investment property… nice.</p>
<p>I only have 2 grandparents left… one I never knew, and one who passed away about 2 years ago…, but after reading this I feel very lucky to have people who care / cared so much about me.</p>
<p>I believe that the names are all fictitious. As for “cast of a soap opera”, I think you may be closer to the truth than you think, Driver. As to how much of the rest is “reporting” and how much is “creative”, I wouldn’t speculate.</p>
<p>While I won’t have any problem with my eventual grandkids calling me “grandmom”, and I can’t go along with all of the tone of the article, I <em>did</em> find some of it resonating. It’s true that I don’t know how I’ll feel when the time actually comes, but this seems undeniably true:
I doubt I could be that “available” grandmother type either. (Baby-sitting at the drop of a phonecall when I’m working a full-time job? Not likely, except in the same kind of family emergency where I’d otherwise leave work to help. Enabling my kids to fix up their apartment? Nope.)</p>
<p>It may never come to that, though: they are likely to live nowhere near me. So instead, I think of the last 18 years spent trotting my kids around to their grandparents’ homes across the country because our parents wouldn’t or couldn’t travel. One thing I’ll change as a grandparent: I’ll split that duty in half, and go visit them in between the times they come visit me (if they’ll have me, that is).</p>
<p>I kind of wondered about that too, Kluge…is this for real, or is someone trying to be Dave Barry, and not pulling it off? But Morgan and Trevor seem to be real, and Adair has apparently made a nice living writing about her tumultuous family life. <a href=“Author News & Interviews | Bookreporter.com”>Author News & Interviews | Bookreporter.com;
</p>
<p>Speaking of Dave Barry, I think Adair should read the excellent Dave Barry Turns 50 for ideas on aging gracefully. Dave proposes a counter-group to the AARP: BARF (Boomers Against Reaching Farthood).</p>
<p>It’s always hard to tell how much is true and how much is fictionalized with “personal” column writers. Most do change the names of their friends and family, but not all. The article refers to “my friend Susan Baker” who “just quit after 12 years as a family court judge.” The State Bar has no listing which corresponds to that (it’s easy to check.) The article also refers to Lara as “a columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle” which has not been the case for a long time. Daughter Morgan does appear to be a real person with that name?; about the rest - well, it would just be plain rude not to fictionalize their names, wouldn’t it? Adair Lara’s website has disappeared, also, adding to the mystery.</p>
<p>I’ve recently become a step-grandmother, so this caught my eye. It is a bit unsettling to become grandparents while you are still actively parenting a child at home, and the “what to be called” issue is especially tricky for a step-grandmother.</p>
<p>I read the article thinking I would find a kindred soul, but alas, the author and I have little in common beyond our age. I, too, have opened my heart, my wallet and my fridge (recently hosting the little family for three weeks!) but I have found the rest of the experience more compelling as well. </p>
<p>My stepdaughter was ten years old when Dizzyson was born and I knew she was deeply affected by that sibling relationship, but I never knew how deeply until now, as I watch her with her own baby boy. Her earnest questions about feeding and sleep and the way she tries to dress her little boy just as she remembers her little brothers being dressed is so sweet. She and her husband have consciously chosen to include us so fully in her little family’s life; that strikes me as a privilege, not a time conflict. We will never be too busy to babysit.</p>
I wonder if the author’s approach to grandparenting was similar to her approach to parenting. Maybe that explains some of the problems she had with her daughter.</p>