Greek Life Q's

Colleges & Universities Duke University
1

<li><p>Do girls/guys who are dating someone generally go to greek parties?
For example, if a girl has a boyfriend (both at Duke) and her girlfriends are going out to a Frat Party, is it ok if she goes with them? Or do couples usually go together? Or do couples even go to Greek Parties at all?</p></li>
<li><p>How many Greek formals are there and what do the girls wear to them? Do you attend those with dates, bf’s, etc?</p></li>
<li><p>Someone told me today that Duke sorority girls get hazed pretty badly (whereas frat boys get the brunt of things during rushing). Are there any sororities that come to mind where hazing isnt that harsh/nonexistant?</p></li>
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<p>That’s all for now. Thanks guys!</p>

2

<p>What exactly are some things that Fraternities do to prospective guys during rushing???</p>

3

<p>I’ll answer these to the best of my abilities. Keep in mind that it may be different from person to person, couple to couple.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>I would definitely say that couples go to Greek parties. There are so many people who go to these things. I’d say you could also go with a group of girls as well… but I don’t know how jealous/defensive the male figure in this situation is. For me and my friends last year, at least, going to parties wasn’t about picking up girls as much as it was having fun as a group.</p></li>
<li><p>Greek formals for the most part don’t happen until second semester (at least the ones that freshmen go to… unless you make a close friend in a frat/sorority who asks you to go with them). Girls wear dresses (though I’m pretty sure you already knew that :))… I’ll let someone with more experience in the dress department deal with that one.</p></li>
<li><p>Any hazing that goes on with fraternities and sororities is kept secret. For example, the guy who lived across the hall from me would constantly get phone calls and would have to leave the dorm for the night, but when he got back he wasn’t allowed to tell us where he had been or what he had done. I really don’t think that anything truly bad happens during pledging, though… it’s mostly ridiculous stuff that is supposed to help you bond with your new brothers. One frat had their pledges sleep in their common room every night for a week or so, and they would play loud music for the entire night except for one hour right before they made all of the pledges get up to work out. Another frat did not allow their pledges to shave for a month. It’s really nothing to be afraid of (as in you’re not going to be physically harmed).</p></li>
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<p>For sororities, my friends who are in them never seemed to be having any problems with hazing. The only “pledging” event that I knew of for them was that one sorority came and “kidnapped” their new members early in the morning and they all went and had memosas (sp?) and pancakes.</p>

<p>I think that’s all the info I have… anyone else have something to contribute?</p>

4

<p>the greek parties are pretty much the only ones you’ll find at duke (unless you and your friends throw one yourselves). they’re open to anyone and everyone goes. they’re usually very relaxed and fun. during 1st semester there are usually parties wednesday through saturday nights. it’s not hard to find them at all. second semester the parties slow down (after january) becuase of pledging.
on that topic…i pledged a fraternity at duke last semester (spring 2006) and, for the most part, hazing is not physical. there are usually “work outs” and other physical tasks but nothing that will harm you. of course, drinking is involved (in excess), but not much more than any thursday or firday night. overall, pledging is a great experience. it is an opportunity to bond with the people you will be living with for the next 3 years. i loved it.</p>

5

<p>Sounds like fun. I’ve got the drinking handled, but I’m a pretty skinny guy (who has never worked out in his life), so I guess that means no frats for me.</p>

6

<p>That’s not going to be a big deal… from what I’ve heard, a lot of the physical tasks are running long distances at night in the cold or whatever. I mean, granted I’m a girl so I know only what my male friends let slip around me, but don’t let that stuff deter you from a frat.</p>

<p>Anyway to answer the OP’s questions:

  1. Obviously this will differ on a couple to couple basis, but esp. sophomore year after my bf had been in a fraternity, I’d still go to parties for other frats, but I’d only go with my girlfriends. Other than some big parties or to visit friends in other fraternities, my bf and many of his friends didn’t feel a need to go anywhere else… of course there’ll be girls who then decide to just stay at his fraternity, but that’s not my thing. We’d go to some things as a couple, but it was more of a group of friends that happened to include the two of us. Oh well!</p>

<p>2) Spring semester, each fraternity and sorority typically thows two formals/semi formals… guys have a rush semi formal, so that’ll be end of January, and around that time, girls are having their first semi after getting the new pledge class. Toward the end of the semester each will have a spring formal-- sometimes guys have them in a different city so you go and stay overnight. IN the fall most organizations will have just one event, sometimes two. I’ve been to them with a bf, I’ve been with a good friend who needed a date, etc. People get set up by their “bigs” for these things all the time.</p>

<p>3) I’m pretty sure that Duke has a zero tolerance policy when it comes to sorority hazing, so at the risk of getting into serious trouble, most (if not all) sororities don’t haze, and if they do, it’s not going to be anything significant. But yeah, it’s really not bad, my friends from other schools were surprised that nothing happened to me.</p>

7

<p>don’t worry about the parties or anything. when you get to duke, just follow the crowds. once you get on west campus it’s almost impossible not to find a party.
As for greek life. it all gets spelled out for you when the time is right.
neither issue is worth any amount of stress or concern.</p>

<p>Accionar</p>

8

<p>This is very helpful!</p>

9

<p>Thanks Seahorse, Bluestar, & SSorman! I’m really excited for these socials, haha (I’m such a girl, I guess). Anyone able to shed more light on the girls attire?</p>

10

<p>As preppy as possible - sundresses (esp. Lilly), critter embroidery, madras, and seersucker preferred. All of the aforementioned goes especially goes for tailgate and football games (if you make it).</p>

11

<p>Is it bad that I thought the answer to the OP’s subject was “Sigma Chi on Thursdays” ?</p>

12

<p>“Do girls/guys who are dating someone generally go to greek parties? For example, if a girl has a boyfriend (both at Duke) and her girlfriends are going out to a Frat Party, is it ok if she goes with them? Or do couples usually go together? Or do couples even go to Greek Parties at all?”</p>

<p>Yes, it’s totally acceptable to go to a party, greek or not, as a couple or while in a relationship. It is up to you and your partner whether or not you want to go to separate parties or spend the time together at the same parties. These parties are not exclusively for singles by any means. Don’t forget too that there are couples in which one or both participants are members of the greek community. Just go and have fun, with a significant other or not, it shouldn’t make a difference. Also, selective living parties are, in content, very similar to greek parties.</p>

<p>“How many Greek formals are there and what do the girls wear to them? Do you attend those with dates, bf’s, etc?”</p>

<p>There are typically 1-2 in the first semester that only members, dates, and close friends of the respective groups (sororities, fraternities, and selective living groups) are invited to. Spring semester there tend to be more, and pledges/rushees/etc. tend to be invited to these too. Personally, I was invited to a semiformal at Phi Delta Theta in the fall before I even rushed there, but that was because I knew a bunch of the guys and had a lot of friends there.</p>

<p>“Sounds like fun. I’ve got the drinking handled, but I’m a pretty skinny guy (who has never worked out in his life), so I guess that means no frats for me.”</p>

<p>While many fraternities do include physical components to their pledging programs, they’re not so intense that you need to be an athlete, and there are definitely groups that don’t require any. Also, in regards to alcohol, I know that in my pledging class at Phi Delta Theta, there were people who weren’t comfortable drinking to excess or even at all, and were still able to have a good time at our pledging events. Not necessarily typical, but don’t assume that every fraternity wants an athletic alcoholic prepster. At the same time, if you are an athletic alcoholic prepster, there are plenty of places to go. And if all your friends are athletic alcoholic prepsters, and you aren’t one, you can still join. I know one guy who joined a stereotypically athletic fraternity and couldn’tve weighed over 120lbs, and loves it and fits in fine. Don’t judge the groups by the stereotypes, get to know the people instead of the reputation, or you’ll limit yourself needlessly socially.</p>

<p>One other note is that fraternity rush is very much a time when the rushees aren’t asked to do anything but show up and have a good time and get to know the brothers of the fraternity. The point is so we can figure out who we want to have in our group, and its not a trial by fire by any means. Pledging is different - the point of pledging is to force the newly accepted pledges, who may not know each other well, to get to know each other and the brothers well. Some fraternities use hazing to induce capture bonding for that connection between the new brothers and the old, some don’t at all, and most fall somewhere between the two on the spectrum. Again, get to know the people, not the reputations, because there’s a huge difference.</p>