<p>EK, I just wanted to say I’m sorry about your situation and I am thinking of you and wishing you well, not to mention praying for your mom.</p>
<p>My dad died on Christmas Eve but I think that screwed up the holidays for his many, many Christian friends because I remember his death on the Jewish date, which usually falls in January. (It annoys me that my Temple sends out a reminder for Christmas Eve each year; shouldn’t a Jewish organization follow the Jewish calendar?)</p>
<p>And 2 years ago, my mother almost died when she fell and wasn’t found for 3 days, just before Christmas, so I spent the entire holiday period in her empty house, in the hospital and then in a nursing home. That was bleak. And days before my mother was found, my daughter’s pet almost died and that led into a month long, ridiculously expensive odyssey which cost as much as a car. (It’s tough to kill your daughter’s pet.) He’s fine now but that really absorbed a lot of time. BTW, veterinarians call you back much more often than human doctors.</p>
<p>My attitude about death, grief and the holidays is that they make life more meaningful. Well, sometimes at least: my mother has never really recovered and is slipping away but the cat is happy! </p>
<p>When I’m out in traffic, I think this season should be renamed “Get out of my way! I’m running this red light” because ordinary civility drops in direct opposition to what people say is the meaning of Christmas. But the cat is warm and annoying when he begs for food and my mother thinks everything is fine though her mind is fading out. That’s a lesson. That’s why before this big storm I put out seed for a few days; I wanted the birds to realize there’s food here when their normal food sources are covered in snow. They’ll come, others will see (or however the word gets passed) and some of them will live who otherwise would have died.</p>
<p>BTW, veterinarians call you back much more often than human doctors.
they do, and they also don’t schedule 10 patients for the same 30 min period.</p>
<p>I think that every death reminds us- or at least me- how much we all depend on each other and how life is what you make of it.</p>
<p>I love putting food out for the birds, we dont’ have snow but the bird baths freeze I have to remember to put some fresh water out.</p>
<p>EK, I’m so sorry for your loss but glad to hear hear that you have hope for a better relationship with your sister. My sister and I have grown closer since our mother’s death which has been nice since we were never really close before.</p>
<p>My mother died Dec. 18,2003. She had been in poor health but her death was totally unexpected. My father died when I was eleven years old. </p>
<p>It was a feeling as if the long tether that anchored me down to earth had suddenly been cut loose and left me floating aimlessly in space. I was no longer anyone’s child and there was no longer a “home” for me to go home to.</p>
<p>It has gotten better over time. I thought about her a lot yesterday. My sibs. and I don’t cry anymore when we talk about her. We rememeber funny stories and laugh or talk about all the Christmases we spent together in Mom’s house. </p>
<p>My thoughts go out to all who are facing a first Christmas without a loved one.</p>
<p>Our church is starting a new service this year. Tomorrow afternoon there will be a Remembrance Service. It is for those who have lost loved ones who would like to come together at Christmas to remember them. We are encouraged to bring a picture of the person who has passed away as a visible reminder that though they are gone from earth, they live in our hearts and will never be forgotten.</p>
<p>packmom-Your church’s service sounds lovely.</p>
<p>My brother died a few days after Christmas several years back. Its very hard.</p>
<p>So many sad stories here. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you.</p>
<p>Oh, these stories are so sad.</p>
<p>My Mom passed away this past May - 2 years minus one day after Dad passed in '07. This is the first holiday season without a parent. My sis, who usually has Christmas Day at her house, is going to FL this year. We do have plans for the 25th, but it will be so strange not spending it with family.</p>
<p>My heart goes out to all those dealing with the pain of family loss especially this time of year. I lost both my parents several years ago. It was and still is a bittersweet time of year for me. For the past several years in order to deal with the pain, we would do non traditional things on the holidays or be away. This is the first year we are having a full blown Christmas.</p>
<p>Magnoliamom, I am in the same situation as you. We have an only daughter in college and it has always bothered me that she may end up alone if anything ever happened to us. We have a very small family now and I hope she finds a person who will love and care for her.</p>
<p>December seems to be the month that everyone I know passes away. My high school best friend’s father died a year ago last week, several of my husband’s relatives died in December, and my dad will be gone ten years on the 29th. That one in particular makes me endlessly sad around Christmas, because it was very unexpected (an accident) and we were very close. The latest one is my uncle, who was buried on Wednesday. </p>
<p>Theaterbrat, I’m sorry for your loss. Please take my advice and see a counselor at school. Tell them what is going on and heed their advice. They may suggest that you let your teachers know and you’ll need all the support you can get. There was about four days between when I buried my dad and when classes started and I was such a mess that I failed the semester. Sadly, no one suggested that I talk to someone until it was too late to salvage my grades.</p>