<p>We also got a letter of acceptance from a local BS for our son who applied as a day student. Unfortunately, a few paragraphs later, it informed us that they could offer no FA. It was a bit of a shock, but I was glad they were so up front about it. </p>
<p>And with all due respect, Princess’Dad, you have no idea what other people can afford. For us, we’d have to give up our medical prescriptions and health insurance to pay full tuition. We haven’t had a family vacation or a new car in years. Fortunately, we got solid (and one very generous) FA offer from the other schools (all day schools) we applied to. They all called us ahead of time to let us know our son had been accepted and to let us know FA decisions would be made a week or two later, truly need-blind admissions. I think there are many, MANY families who fit that description. We hardly unique.</p>
<p>And, yeah, it was great to know our son was accepted everywhere we’d applied, but I would have rather not dragged him through the process if a school wasn’t going to consider us for FA even though we qualified for it.</p>
<p>I agree with you Lucie. We could not afford full tuition without giving up necessities like paying rent, buying food, etc. Our car is 6 years old (and we’re using only one right now for a family of four), the only “vacation” we get is when I take my kids to Disneyland (we live in CA so it’s a road trip) and that is only because my daughter twirls in a parade there once a year and we get discounted tickets and share a hotel with my sister to save on costs, and the only clothes I buy are on clearance and I am wearing pants that are 5 years old some days! Not every family can just “give up” a few things and be able to pay $20k-$40k/yr. for education.</p>
<p>Even after giving up lots of things (sold the newish truck, no vacations, etc) we couldn’t afford bs. I suppose we could sell our house, but it wouldn’t make that much of a difference. Our son just had a medical emergency, and any extra money will go towards the difference between our insurance and our portion. And the funny thing is, we’re not struggling, yet we’ll probably qualify for substantial FA this year due to the economy and our jobs.
Princess’Dad, that is a mighty broad stroke.
zp</p>
<p>ok
I stand flogged and accept the town stocks.</p>
<p>However, I am on a med school admit and do realized that there are alot of ways to pay for school besides FA. I am still in debt for loans for college and med school 40 years later - with wife’s loans for college and grad school. Now have more for d’s school. It can be done without FA.</p>
<p>I think a lot of the sources for loans for secondary school vanished. I remember quite a few CCers looking for those loan funds last year only to be found that banks were no longer offering loans for high school.</p>
<p>I see where you’re coming from Princess’Dad. My husband and I’s goal is to have our student loans completely paid by the time our own children are in college!</p>
<p>You also need to have a doctor’s (or comparable) income to take on such a huge debt burden. Many of us who work in the nonprofit sector had to pay off our college and grad school loans before we could ever afford to <em>have</em> children, let alone afford a private school education for them. If you have the income to afford that huge debt service, then more power to you, but not everyone can qualify for huge loans like that, let alone pay them off in a timely manner.</p>
<p>In defense of PrincessDad, I do know a family who has a child at BS and received partial FA. They just bought a new $90K car. That just bothers me immensely. :(</p>
<p>Lucie
Some docs work academics where their income is equivalent to the non profit sector. Most all can qualify for a Salle Mae loan for college as needed.<br>
You can also look at it that most of the IVYs/S/D now give free tuition if < $100,000 – so if you think a private school can increase the chances of child getting into such, then take the loan now and go for it. We used second morgage on house. Tax deductable and worked great.
If it is between school A that gives you FA and Exeter type that does not, then accept the school A.<br>
Sorry, but it is a pet pieve of mine when parents try to “negotiate” with the adcom re: FA. My answer is then go with the other school.</p>
<p>Yeah, Princess’Dad, I think it really depends on what schools you’re looking at. We applied to ones that were all in the same “league” and yet got very different responses to our request for FA (from $0 to full need). We’re still waiting on a few, so a final decision on our part hasn’t been made, but if it were between a school my son loved that offered no aid and a school that was just okay for him, but threw tons of money at us, it would be a very tough call.</p>
<p>I don’t personally think there’s anything wrong with trying to negotiate for FA, and we were actually invited by one school to do so, even though it really isn’t our style at all. Now if we’d been turned down by all of them, I’m not sure what we would have done, but I don’t think we would have financed full tuition. There are no guarantees that anybody’s child will get into an Ivy League school and no guarantee that those schools will continue to make that generous “free tuition” offer indefinitely. </p>
<p>Years ago, my alma mater (which routinely ranks in the top 20 in the US News rankings) used to offer, as part of its employee benefits package, the choice between free tuition for an employee’s children – if that child qualified through the regular admissions process – or a tuition credit (worth considerably less) that could be applied to any school the child attended. It was a huge gamble, even for employees who were also alumni, to take the full tuition option. Very hard to predict how your child will fare so far in the future.</p>
<p>And doschicos, that would bother me immensely, as well, if the award was “need-based” and not a scholarship for some other purpose. It will be curious to see if that school offers the family FA again after they declare that $90k car as one of their assets! (Perhaps you should photograph the family in the new car and send a copy to the BS. j/k–sort of!)</p>
<p>Benley,
My advice is that if not that BS is great for everyone. It is if your PS is terrible and BS is the only way your child can get a decent education - then you will find a way to do so. I think it is wrong saying my C got full tuition at school B, but A did not give them enought and “what do we do” as we want to go to A. You go to B or borrow.</p>
<p>Again, my experiance is grad school, but we never budged on increasing the amount of FA we offer someone when they come back to negotiate. If they don’t like the offer and another gives them better, then they should go to the other or raise the differance themselves. If they show us the info is wrong (divorced during the year so W2 incorrect) that is something different.</p>
<p>But this is not the case at least with some private schools (so be careful to make assumptions based on your experience with grad schools). Read LuciTheLakie’s message -a school actually asked them to come back if they received a better offer from another school. Of course, we don’t know how many schools encourage or like the practice -that should a word of caution.</p>
<p>I would be unlikely to challenge a FA award or try to get more. Haggling over anything is just so distastful to me. I’d never survive at an open air market overseas!</p>
<p>If my son is in the position where the ONLY place he is accepted offers insufficient aid, I guess I’d have to, though. In that case, it would just be something like, “He’d love to attend, but unfortunately, even with the generous offer, it is not possible.” </p>
<p>But I wouldn’t do it for first choice over second, or anything like that. I’d send him wherever we could afford before haggling. It just seems so…ingracious when they are all so generous to begin with.</p>
Caution is advised for that gracious but perhaps overly ambiguous attempt to negotiate. My brother and his wife did something almost identical for their daughter at a HADES school - and the response was “Thank you for letting us know that your daughter will not be attending XXXXX.”</p>
<p>I think the key here is how to communicate your concerns to the school in a sincere and courteous manner. It is not after all you are trying to make a profit out of it. In a sense, your goal and the school’s goal are the same, which is to help your kid get to attend the school.</p>
<p>Hopefully, I won’t be asking for advice on how to handle such a scenario. If I do find myself in that position, thanks for the warning! I’ll be sure to seek advice from those more knowledgeable than me.</p>
<p>Interesting, we called to decline an offer because we had gotten one more generous and the school - within minutes - called back with an additional $10k. For us, the first school was still the better choice for other reasons.<br>
Yes, you need to be careful, but it IS ok to call and discuss the FA - especially if they have gapped you. I would say, if they have not, then it is kind of awkward.</p>