<p>I am a 34 year old, single mother and non-traditional student. I am finishing up my AA this semester and will hopefully be attending the University of Florida in the spring. I didn’t do so well in high school (looking at my transcripts, I’m amazed they gave me a diploma), or in my first attempt at college (.66 gpa with grade forgiveness). I’m doing much better now, but because of the bad grades from the first time, I’ve had to fight and jump through hoops to get where I am now. </p>
<p>I don’t want my son to do things the way I did them. I want to make sure that he’s prepared to go directly to a 4 year university out of high school if that’s what he wants to do. My parents didn’t help me or seek help for me, they simply grounded me for bad grades. Turned out I had ADHD, but that wasn’t diagnosed til I was in college the first time. </p>
<p>My son is smart in many ways, but academically he’s only at grade level. He’s made some major strides in reading skills recently (he seems to be motivated by success…the better he gets at reading, the more he wants to practice), but there are several students in the class who are way ahead of him (I help with reading tests in his class). He, too, has ADHD, but it is well controlled with medication. Private and home schooling is not an option. </p>
<p>My son is only 6 and in the first grade, but I figure it’s never too early to start. So, parents of students who did well academically, what habits did you instill at an early age, and how did you go about encouraging the development of those habits and skills?</p>
<p>I could say tons of things but it seems like you care about his future and set a good example. These are the most important things. I would suggest reading at bedtime, and saturday trips to the library.</p>
<p>Time management is important…and learning that all assignments need to be completed, and turned in on time! Even first graders have work they need to complete…on time.</p>
<p>We had a dedicated “homework time” at our house. Everyone did homework, or read a book or magazine. Even when in first grade, our kids did this.</p>
<p>I wanted them to love school and look forward to going Everday. We attended Any fun activity like carnivals and secret Santa. And I volunteered a lot.</p>
<p>Also, I think building good habits is important. My bright sophomore only wants to ace tests so he doesn’t have to worry about homework. I get on him for those homework grades even though he has an A in the class.
That bad habit will not translate to a good work experience and he will probably choke when he gets to AP calc.</p>
<p>A separate desk or area to study, well stocked with pencils, pens, crayons, paper, scissors, etc. (the materials obviously to change as the kid gets older)</p>
<p>We had a finished basement / playroom for our twins and we “decorated” it so it looked almost like a kindergarten classroom with different “stations” with different themes. We hung (at their eye level) colorful classroom style posters that had numbers, simple addition facts, a map of the US, a list of the presidents, types of animals, etc. – those types of things. Go to a teacher supply store - they have great posters. Reinforces the idea that learning is fun.</p>
<p>I concur to have “quiet reading time” every night.</p>
<p>Take him to age-appropriate museum exhibits and the like – encourage him to learn about more about topics that interest him (dinosaurs, space?). Or local farms, nature walks, etc.</p>
<p>Finish what you start.
Never be afraid to ask questions or seek help.
Read every chance you can (my avid reader built an amazing vocabulary at an early age - loved the Lemony Snicket series because of the vocabulary).
Time management.</p>
<p>I like the idea of using the fun activities at school to build a love for the environment.</p>
<p>You staying involved and communicating freely with teachers will let your kids know the importance of school.</p>
<p>You sound like a very loving and caring mom. Your kids are lucky to have you (they might not always think so - wink).</p>
<p>Make attending a 4 year college seem like a given. Start talking about “when you go to college…” It seems simple but just instilling that thought process at an early age will allow him to visualize the path that he needs to follow.</p>
<p>People talk about making sure your kid enjoy school. It sounds like it is the school’s responsibility to make sure kids are entertained. But it is not the case, and most of us know that. A kid would enjoy school more when he/she is well prepared. When a kid is tired, not have homework done then he/she would not enjoy going to school. When a kid doesn’t understand what’s going in a classroom he/she is not going to be as engaged and interested. It is parents’ responsibility, when kids are younger, to make sure they are well rested and are well prepared for school. As they get older, those habits will stick. My husband always tell our kids at beginning of each school year, “Don’t fall behind.”</p>
<p>Actually, my kids needed play when they first came home. Our homework time was after play time, and a snack. They really needed to burn some energy off…play outside. Especially in the winter, this had to happen before dark…so it happened right when we got home from school.</p>
<p>“My son is only 6 and in the first grade, but I figure it’s never too early to start.”
I believe that it is a proper age to start putting some prospectives/priorities in a young head.
For reference, here is what I have done when D. was 5 y o and just started kindergarten. There was no homework in kindergarten vast majority of the time. However, once they had some tiny assicgnment (literally for 10 min.)
D. was in competitive sport and was very excited about her practices, looking forward to them. Right before we left to her practice, I have asked if she is done with the small school assignment. She did not even started on it. Then I asked her what is the most important activity in her life. She smiled, she had no doubt that it was her sport. At this point, I told her that school is number 1, and everything else she can put in her desired “importance” list, speaking in adult language, I basically told her that it is up to her to assign priorities to everything else. We did not leave to practice until she was done with her assignment. Driving in a car, I told her that if she continue doing all homework, she will have only best grades in everything (I do not think she knew about A, B,…).
I did not have to repeat it ever. Worked like a charm, all the way thru the 3rd of Med. School.<br>
I strongly agree, despite of many negative comments about my story, that age of 5 -6 is crucial and appropriate. You got to talk about it at the time when they get their first assignment. It gets imprinted in their heads easier.<br>
BTW, D. could not read until she was about 6 y o. It is OK.
Kuddos to OP, great mom!</p>
<p>No computers in bedrooms, try to be strict about computer game/video time (we only had limited success and our kids did fine, so don’t kill yourself). I do think reading at bedtime is important and I read to both kids until at least 3rd or 4th grade at which point they could read faster than me. Read things they can’t read yet that they want to read. My youngest made me read hundreds of books about World War 2 which bored me to tears, but I also got to read Harry Potter to him. Get them to be responsible for homework as soon as you can. It’s their job not yours. Figure out systems that work for them to be able to be self-sufficient. Our kids had agendas from early on in school.</p>
<p>Finally take heart - kids bloom at different rates. My oldest started learning to read at two, my youngest could barely get through a Nate the Great book starting second grade. They both had virtually identical SAT verbal scores. (And the oldest still likes fantasy best, and the youngest still reads about wars and international relations.)</p>
<p>Finally American culture tends to attribute good grades to talent, while Asian to hard work. There’s probably some of both, but I think the message should be not “you’re smart”, but “if you work hard you can achieve almost anything”. There are very few professions that really require brilliance.</p>
<p>Read out loud to him before bed every night.</p>
<p>Buy or check out lots of books from the library. Let him pick whatever he wants. </p>
<p>Have a habit of doing homework at a specific time so it is a routine and not a battle. Either right away after school, or if you want play time first, then after an hour or whatever.</p>
<p>Make homework a priority…do it before other things.</p>
<p>Let him be curious. If he asks about planes, then say “hey, let’s go to the library and get a book about planes!” And go visit an airport. Actions that instill a love of learning.</p>
<p>Like others say, talk about college as it is a given. When he is older, take him to the local college. See a football game or exhibit or something fun.</p>
<p>Start good homework habits early…TV off. Phone off (i know he doesn’t have a phone, but you could turn yours off). Don’t play computer games, just focus on homework.</p>
<p>Limit “screen time”. For example, TV, Computer, video games. How many hours a day are okay? Think about it. Let them make choices, but limit them to their hour or two.</p>
<p>Sounds like you are off to a great start! I can only repeat what others have said:</p>
<p>Read,read read! Make weekly trips to the library and participate in library kid’s activities. Make reading time fun- make cookies for “Give a Mouse a Cookie”, get under a blanket with a flashlight to read fun-scary Halloween stories, etc. </p>
<p>We always set up the kitchen table for homework when our kids were young. That way we could “listen in” to see if there were issues. </p>
<p>Visit museums, plays, music into everyday life. Make it special by adding a picnic. Our Philomarnic Orchestra had a series of children’s concerts that our kids lived and still remember. They got to go downtown to the Music Center, have a picnic, do crafts with the Children’s Museum ( they partnered with the Music Center). </p>
<p>Continue volunteering at school. Kids like having their parents there at this age. They like that their friends know who you are and it makes them feel important.</p>
<p>To me all that stuff everyone mentioned is important, but so is encouraging curiosity. Is he interested in trains? Go see train museums. When my son was into blacksmithing, we visited Williamsburg and he literally stood there for hours at the blacksmithing shop as they demonstrated making nails - lol. We toured the rest of the place without him while he sat observing and questioning. He was interested in how nuclear power worked, we lived in a neighborhood near a nuclear power plant and he visited a few retired engineers. He also did lots of research on his own. </p>
<p>When we went to a new city, we’d check out new museums. Not just his wheelhouse of interest, but we’d go see the frog display, go to planetariums, and even when he went to the beach and would dig holes you could see him trying to figure out how to build tunnels through sand. We’d walk to the playground and we didn’t hurry to get there, I let him wander and explore how the water ran to the sewer, to blow the dandelions, to watch ants march around. </p>
<p>We also take tours of our local area. We didn’t just see the plantation, we’d take the tour, watch the movie, do the activity, etc.</p>
<p>We obviously value education, not for the money it gives you but the satisfaction. </p>
<p>We ate dinner as a family most nights of the week with no tv in sight. We’d talk about their day and what they learned, we talked about what interested us, or really anything at all. It was always a given it was high school then college, no questions asked.</p>
<p>I think the value system is the most important thing, and it looks like you have it.</p>
<p>Best thing is if he learns to enjoy learning.</p>
<p>In elementary school, all they teach is reading and math skills, so those are the two areas to focus on if you are going to supplement school education. If he’s at grade level, I assume he’s learning to count right now? Or addition?</p>