Halle Berry, Jen Aniston, Sandra Bullock getting dumped

[Schmaltz]

<p>“I have often wondered where Barack Obama got his supreme self-confidence.”</p>

<p>I’d bet many of us have seen children of privilege (like he would have encountered at Columbia and Harvard) fall all over themselves to try to show they are not racist and are accepting of underrepresented groups. I would imagine plenty of people who’d never socialized with African Americans were eager to hang out with and fawn over such a cool guy as Barry Obama.</p>

<p>Correct me if I’m wrong, but as I understand it, he hasn’t divulged his undergrad or law school grades, and he was elected to a lofty position on the Law Review…a position that was more a popularity contest than a reflection of high scholarship. One more indication that his ego might have been continually stroked in his early adulthood.</p>

[milkandsugar]

<p>GA2012MOM,
You are lucky that your daughter is well adjusted a tribute to you and her father. Many others are not as lucky. Sometimes it is just other people who need to box a person in to satisfy their own insecurity. Me, I am biracial or more multicultural by todays standards, (both parents were multicultural) I identify more with my african american self because my family did and I was raised with our extended family and relatives who have married all ethnic groups. I have some cousins and old aunts who have had a lot of issues because they deny who they are, try to be something else and don’t know really what they want and it stems from being multicultural, biracial and having some identity issues.</p>

[GA2012MOM]

<p>I guess I just hate the fact that people seem to need to label people. </p>

<p>

You are lucky that your daughter is well adjusted a tribute to you and her father.

</p>

<p>I had her on my own and have raised her myself since day one. Even though this is just an internet forum, I still prefer not to give her sperm donor any credit. :)</p>

[MizzBee]

<p>“Correct me if I’m wrong, but as I understand it, he hasn’t divulged his undergrad or law school grades, and he was elected to a lofty position on the Law Review…a position that was more a popularity contest than a reflection of high scholarship. One more indication that his ego might have been continually stroked in his early adulthood.”</p>

<p>He grew up in multicultural Hawaii, then went to multicultural Occidental, so I doubt that his ego was stroked too much. If you read his autobiography, you will see that he did go through an identity crisis as a bi-racial kid.</p>

<p>But back to the subject of these women getting dumped - I have always wondered about Aniston because she had serious issues with her mother. I have found that girls with parent issues have issues in marriage as well. (Go ahead and roar people).</p>

[TutuTaxi]

<p>I live in an area that has a lot of bi-racial children. In D’s graduating class – same kids since middle school, there were more bi-racial kids than ones with 2 AA parents. I can’t think of one bi-racial child that appeared insecure or seemed to have an identity problem. Maybe this is a problem in the South or East coast or the Midwest, but I have lived in the Inland Northwest for 25 years - multiracial families are quite common and their kids seem well adjusted and popular.</p>

<p>IMO, to blame Halle’s problem with men on her bi-racial background is as silly as blaming it on her being raised by a single mother.</p>

[jym626]

<p>

I have found that girls with parent issues have issues in marriage as well.

May be true, but what is your data based on? N of 1? ;)</p>

[NYMomof2]

<p>(Response to post #21) I don’t think that empty ego-stroking leads to self-confidence. I think it’s more likely to result from substantial accomplishments, a strong sense of security. What I envy is his sense of feeling comfortable in all situation, with any people. I don’t have any idea what Obama’s grades were, but they were good enough to get him into Columbia and Harvard Law. it seems clear that he is very intelligent, not surprising, as both of his parents were academics. But I know many very intelligent and accomplished people, and few of them have his level of confidence.</p>

<p>I wish it could be bottled!</p>

[MizzBee]

<p>May be true, but what is your data based on? N of 1?</p>

<p>Children of divorced parents more likely to divorce. FACT
But I will admit that most of my experience is anecdotal. I would say of the 100 people that I know that are divorced, 80% do not get along with at least one parent. I am not a social scientist, but I have noticed that parents influence marriage of the children.</p>

[milkandsugar]

<p>

to blame Halle’s problem with men on her bi-racial background is as silly as blaming it on her being raised by a single mother.

</p>

<p>Huh?
did someone blame being biracial the cause of her marital problems?</p>

[TutuTaxi]

<p>

@milkandsugar

just speculation, but Halle Berry is gorgeous but someone like her from a multicultural marriage may have some identity baggage. It has been my impression that she is insecure and mousy.

</p>

<p>I’m sorry if I misinterpreted your post #12, but I thought you were saying Halle is “insecure and mousy” has cultural identity “baggage” because of her multicultural parentage. Since the topic of this thread is why certain beautiful, successful actresses are frequently “dumped” by their male partners, I assumed that was the connection you were attempting to make.</p>

[MommaJ]

<p>Actresses like Lana Turner, Liz Taylor and Ava Gardner lived in a world where they and their studios and press agents were far more able able to control what the public knew and didn’t know about them. (Just think about how Rock Hudson’s love life was a total fiction for so long.) Today’s actresses are stalked by reporters and photographers 24-7; if they change manicurists it’s reported immediately on Perez Hilton or TMZ. And it’s far more entertaining for the celebrity press to characterize every terminated relationship as a “dumping”. I assume that I know nothing about celebrities’ true personal lives, and I like it that way.</p>

[jym626]

<p>

But I will admit that most of my experience is anecdotal.

Actually all of your experience is anecdotal. And being the child of divorced parents is a separate issue than having “issues” with one or both parents. There can be overlap, but a parent-child conflict can occur in the context of intact or divorced families. Then theres the whole issue of parental alienation syndrome. Or abuse. But this is even further off topic, so won’t go there. So the statement that girls with parent issues have issues in marriage? Where’s the data to support that?</p>

[SamuraiLandshark]

<p>Here are some statistics from an article in National Affairs journal that I found interesting. </p>

<p>[The</a> Evolution of Divorce > Publications > National Affairs](<a href=“http://nationalaffairs.com/publications/detail/the-evolution-of-divorce]The”>The Evolution of Divorce | National Affairs)</p>

<p>

Since 1974, about 1 million children per year have seen their parents divorce — and children who are exposed to divorce are two to three times more likely than their peers in intact marriages to suffer from serious social or psychological pathologies. In their book Growing Up with a Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps, sociologists Sara McLanahan and Gary Sandefur found that 31% of adolescents with divorced parents dropped out of high school, compared to 13% of children from intact families. They also concluded that 33% of adolescent girls whose parents divorced became teen mothers, compared to 11% of girls from continuously married families. And McLanahan and her colleagues have found that 11% of boys who come from divorced families end up spending time in prison before the age of 32, compared to 5% of boys who come from intact homes.

</p>

<p>

And this is where the bad news comes in. When it comes to divorce and marriage, America is increasingly divided along class and educational lines. Even as divorce in general has declined since the 1970s, what sociologist Steven Martin calls a “divorce divide” has also been growing between those with college degrees and those without (a distinction that also often translates to differences in income). The figures are quite striking: College-educated Americans have seen their divorce rates drop by about 30% since the early 1980s, whereas Americans without college degrees have seen their divorce rates increase by about 6%. Just under a quarter of college-educated couples who married in the early 1970s divorced in their first ten years of marriage, compared to 34% of their less-educated peers. Twenty years later, only 17% of college- educated couples who married in the early 1990s divorced in their first ten years of marriage; 36% of less-educated couples who married in the early 1990s, however, divorced sometime in their first decade of marriage.

</p>

<p>

This growing divorce divide means that college-educated married couples are now about half as likely to divorce as their less-educated peers. Well-educated spouses who come from intact families, who enjoy annual incomes over $60,000, and who conceive their first child in wedlock — as many college-educated couples do — have exceedingly low rates of divorce.

</p>

<p>

These trends are mirrored in American illegitimacy statistics. Although one would never guess as much from the regular New York Times features on successful single women having children, non-marital childbearing is quite rare among college-educated women. According to a 2007 Child Trends study, **only 7% of mothers with a college degree had a child outside of marriage, compared to more than 50% of mothers who had not gone to college.

**</p>

<p>

These trends are mirrored in American illegitimacy statistics. Although one would never guess as much from the regular New York Times features on successful single women having children, non-marital childbearing is quite rare among college-educated women. According to a 2007 Child Trends study, only 7% of mothers with a college degree had a child outside of marriage, compared to more than 50% of mothers who had not gone to college.

</p>

<p>

First, while it was once the case that working-class and poor Americans held more conservative views of divorce than their middle- and upper-class peers, this is no longer so. For instance, a 2004 National Fatherhood Initiative poll of American adults aged 18-60 found that 52% of college- educated Americans endorsed the norm that in the “absence of violence and extreme conflict, parents who have an unsatisfactory marriage should stay together until their children are grown.” But only 35% of less-educated Americans surveyed endorsed the same viewpoint.

</p>

<p>

Spouses who were unwilling parties to a unilateral divorce, however, tend to do less well. And the ill effects of divorce for adults tend to fall disproportionately on the shoulders of fathers. Since approximately two-thirds of divorces are legally initiated by women, men are more likely than women to be divorced against their will. In many cases, these men have not engaged in egregious marital misconduct such as abuse, adultery, or substance abuse

</p>

[jym626]

<p>whats your point, samurai?</p>

[eastafrobeauty]

<p>^ lol exactly what I was wondering…what’s your point again?</p>

<p>And wow…how did you get your post count up that high??!</p>

[DonnaL]

<p>Must you use an antiquated, judgmental term like “illegitimacy”? This isn’t 1950. There’s no such thing as an illegitimate child.</p>

[DonnaL]

<p>MommaJ, in mentioning Lana Turner, I suppose you’re thinking of Johnny Stompanato? (When I was a teenager, I devoured Hollywood Babylon with great fascination.)</p>

[SamuraiLandshark]

<p>I was responding to post 32:</p>

<p>

So the statement that girls with parent issues have issues in marriage? Where’s the data to support that?

</p>

<p>As for the “illegitimacy”, I simply forgot to put the

[quote]
things in. That was from the journal article. Wasn’t making a judgement, and if I was, it’s not how I would have worded it. </p>

<p>I didn’t say I believed or didn’t believe the stats. Like any stats, they can mean everything or nothing, based on the viewpoint of the person reading (or writing) the article. Just food for thought on a Saturday morning.</p>

<p>Do children fare better or worse after divorce. One of the points of the journal article was that the spouse who has not been party to affair or abuse may fare worse, and it is often the husband who is on the receiving party of 2/3rds of divorces. I never heard this before - have you?</p>

[amtc]

<p>I haven’t read through this whole thread but it reminds me of a story about my husbnad and I. My husband, if he were single, would be one of the “most eligible bachelors” in NY. (We met way before that was even a remote thought.) He’s at this very big deal dinner a few years ago, I didn’t go (probably something to do with the kids). When he comes home I ask him about it and who was at his table, etc. His answer - I was sitting next to some supermodel, I don’t know who although she told me. Her boyfriend was really interesting though - he was a pro sport superstar and we spent the night talking." </p>

<p>That is why we are still married - the woman he’s sitting next to is twice my height and half my weight, drop dead gorgeous and 20 years younger and yet, he has no idea who she is and couldn’t care less. No problem in this marriage!</p>

[jym626]

<p>The stuff you posted samurai is not related to the comment mommaj made that I responded to. She said that girls who have issues with their parents have a higher rate of divorce. Where is that data? And if you do find it, please cite the direct source.</p>