<p>Well said, everyone. But as for deciding someone’s fate in a five minute audition, consider how, in the future, when our kids aren’t “kids” anymore and will be out in the real world competing for roles, their “fate” (in that one circumstance, at least) will be decided on the basis of a 90 second performance. So yes, the whole thing is unfair and the most “talented” person does not always win – not by a long shot. Rejections ARE going to happen; in fact, most performers will be rejected far more than they will book jobs. So much is about type (read what MichaelNKat said above) and that is not always in a performer’s control. The MT and theater business is a VERY traditional one in most instances, in terms of directors being quite predictable (most of the time) as to what type they are casting in any role. That’s why there is not more color blind casting, unfortunately. In any case, MichaelNKat’s advice above – to encourage kids to have other things they do and other interests and friends and a normal life insofar as they can – is crucial. If a person’s happiness is tied only to being cast in a show, that person is bound to be suffering most of the time.</p>
<p>There are some great posts here. Nothing much I can add to what’s been said.</p>
<p>March and April are going to be rough and, I hope for all of us, they will also be exciting months. All of us need to sit back, re-group, regain our strength and endurance. Yes, it’s been a roller coaster, yes it’s a learning experience, yes our actor kids are used to the audition process and the yesses and the nos, and the lives they’ve chosen will have many more ups and downs. </p>
<p>And we need to be there for them, which means we, as parents AND human beings, also need to take care of ourselves and remember that we, too have our own lives, interests and loves.</p>
<p>Sound like a plan? :<)</p>
<p>It is a plan…for sure.</p>
<p>Thanks for the wise words, MichaelNKat. It helps keep it all in perspective as I look at my pile of 6 rejections, await word from 6 more…and try to remain optimistic. Those BA back ups are starting to look good…</p>
<p>Colleen11, keep up your spirits and congratulate yourself for being a smart enough person to have BA “back ups” on your list! Good for you.</p>
<p>Hi ya’ll. Just to let you know D and I are right there with you.</p>
<p>We have been accepted to several schools we can’t afford and have found out we can afford several schools from whom we haven’t heard yet or weren’t accepted.</p>
<p>We do have one acceptance which we can afford. I think I like a couple other schools better but…one is much much better than none.</p>
<p>Virtual coffee is on the left, and the line for virtual vodka and cranberry juice is over here on the right…lol</p>
<p>Just got my UNCSA rejection in the mail today…and the fun begins :(</p>
<p>I’m sorry senioractor, that stinks. We’re all terrified of the coming weeks, all in the thing together…</p>
<p>Hang in there, everyone. Remember, no matter what no one can tell you you can’t be an actor!</p>
<p>It’s been up and down for us too. First came a rejection from Purchase, then came an acceptance from UArts (BFA), then came a rejection from Point Park, then came acceptances with scholarship from Marymount and AMDA.</p>
<p>Now … comes the waiting game on Ithaca, Hartt, UConn, Emerson and BU. Our D still hasn’t recieved an acceptance from one of her Top 3 choices.</p>
<p>Not sure I can take the waiting, but like you guys, I’m very proud that my D did her very best during auditions. The rest is out of our hands.</p>
<p>Good luck, everyone!</p>
<p>We FINALLY have a school that is off our list for good: Montclair State. D got her rejection today (for those of you waiting, it was in a regular business envelope from Admissions, stating “you were not accepted into your chosen major”).</p>
<p>She is fine with this - she likes Adelphi better, and she had a very unpleasant audition that turned her off to the school anyway.</p>
<p>So it’s not a big moment at our house - there are more coming that will be much harder and more disappointing.</p>
<p>My d got her first rejection too…from UNCSA…she really took it well and said she expected it.</p>
<p>racroce I can identify with what your saying this has been a rollercoaster ride for me and my S also. He got his phone call from SUNY Purchase today and the news was good. I took him out afterward to see Rango (excellent film Hero Motiff) - he told me when we were driving that he had started to doubt himself as an actor. That he actually thought he wasn’t going to get into anyplace and was going to go to college to be “just” a scientist (he is a very good acedemic student and bypassed the most of the elite schools in science to focus on acting). This worried me, it especially worries me knowing him. One should and most not doubt themselves as an artist, you can worry, you can despair - most of all you MUST reflect if you are working hard on your craft and using comman sense - but please folks don’t let others decide who and what you are. And I say that as a talented though lazy artist that looks to reach his potiental later in life. Peace and break a leg</p>
<p>Wineguy, I can really relate. My D truly believed she would not get into any auditioned programs and was seeing it very much as a destiny-making judgment process. No matter how much we tell them otherwise, it’s so hard for them to believe they still have value and power over their own lives when they are “rejected” (whatever that really means!) by people who “know better.”</p>
<p>D’s acceptance came from a school that accepts “more” (in this game, like 25% instead of 10%) of its applicants - but I think she does understand that she made it into a “reach” school nonetheless. And I think she’s finally digesting that not getting into a school that only takes 10% can’t be such a personal thing as she thought, just like the kids who are trying for Ivies.</p>
<p>No one can explain this to them - they have to understand it for themselves. It’s much easier for them to have perspective when they DO get an acceptance, even only one. But there are kids who get no auditioned acceptances, and I admire them for shaking that off and moving forward. </p>
<p>Of course there are hundreds of schools where they can still major in theatre, and thousands of other opportunities if, like your S, they only want acting training in a selective conservatory setting (which is completely understandable for many kids). We’ll all just keep working on helping them understand that they are worthy, valuable and capable people, no matter how many rejection letters they get. </p>
<p>I, too, have traveled a circuitous creative career path, and I am sad that these kids face an imposed “moment of truth” now, when they are so young. I’m impressed at how many of them do pick up the pieces and keep going. They are great kids!</p>
<p>Despite knowing the odds, after all the time, effort and energy, it is heart wretching with each rejection that comes in. To date D has been declined by 7 BFA-Acting programs (despite being academically admitted, with merit scholarships and/or honors program acceptance to most). Accepted to two BA backups. Waiting on 4 more BFAs and 2 BAs. A few more weeks…</p>
<p>Oh, gosh, beachcomber. What a trouper! We will all be pulling for her. I hope she has good feelings about the BAs. </p>
<p>I fully expect D to have 7-8 rejections when this is all over (not all BFAs, some reach BAs). She just happened to have timing where the later answers are coming from the more selective schools. So she definitely feels like she’s climbing a ladder!</p>
<p>She told me that last night she dreamed she was rejected by every school that’s left on her list. Except her first choice school looked like an acceptance - they sent her a beautiful book, but inside there was a note that they were rejecting her, too.</p>
<p>I just listened - she knows she has good acceptances already and will get over the disappointment, so I didn’t do the “But you got into X, Y and Z, aren’t you happy?” thing, which I’m sure she appreciated. She’s just digesting the possibilities is all.</p>
<p>Here’s something that kind of bugs me, and I wonder what other people think: </p>
<p>Here on CC, and out in the real world, people say, “If you can even imagine doing anything else in your life, then you shouldn’t be going into this field, should switch gears and pick another major now.” OK, I get the logic in this: they’re talking about having the stomach to keep trying, through the disappointment and heartbreak, doing without creature comforts, a stable home, etc., etc. because it’s all you ever wanted to do, all you ever want to do.</p>
<p>Having been involved in the arts all of my life, and having blended it with other jobs, other vocations and avocations, deciding to stay put geographically and not wanting to give up “everything” for the sake of success in art - and knowing many other people who are the same way - I do not intend to tell my D that she isn’t being dedicated enough if she 1) doesn’t get into a top program; 2) doesn’t get into an auditioned program; 3) decides to put some effort into training for a “day job”; or 4) decides she loves theatre forever but feels it is healthiest for her to do it on a more relaxed basis (community theatre, volunteer work, teaching) than being in the “bigtime.” </p>
<p>You never know what’s going to happen - and I relate to wineguy in my own artistic life journey - so why can’t these kids just study theatre because they love it, whether they’ve reached some measurable notch on the “talent” scale (however that’s determined), whether they ever make any money from it, or whether they ever even “do” it at all? </p>
<p>My D plans to work in theatre. She may or may not always be a performer, and she may or may not make any real money in it. I don’t make enough money in the arts to support myself - but whatever else I’m doing (working another job, being a mom, doing community work), I’m always performing, and always working at it. </p>
<p>That’s all I wish for her. And if she chooses a BA program, then I know she will enjoy and learn from that as much as she can anywhere else. I feel fortunate writing this, knowing she can do an auditioned BFA if she chooses, but I would say this regardless. </p>
<p>It’s an endless discussion, but I do feel the need to respond to what I think is a myth, and a disservice to these kids. It’s not on this thread, but I see it and hear it everywhere, and feel sad that impressionable young people are disillusioned and discouraged by it every day. It bothers me more even than the kids who are propped up and praised inappropriately, to the point where they think they will never be rejected - the world will show those kids what will and won’t work for them. But kids who are convinced never even to try won’t get a chance to learn that lesson, let alone achieve their goals and dreams.</p>
<p>^^^ Wonderful post!!</p>
<p>First of all, I extend my heartfelt sympathy to beachcomber and everyone else who is sweating out this very, very difficult process.</p>
<p>With regard to Emmybet’s question…in my opinion, the statement you are referring to is an appropriate response to kids with very minimal exposure to theatre who are perhaps entranced by dreams of being a movie star, or who have had the time of their lives as leads in school musicals…but lack any understanding of what it means to pursue a career as a theatre professional.</p>
<p>Sometimes kids come on CC and say, “how do I know if I really want to be an actor”?..and that’s the standard (superficial) answer that is given.</p>
<p>In a way, theatre is different from other arts, such as the visual arts, or dance, or instrumental music. By the time you are a junior in high school, you pretty much know whether you have enough natural talent and/or developed ability for it to make sense to pursue a major in something like, say, violin or vocal music.</p>
<p>Acting is more subjective, in a way, at a sub-professional level. For many kids, it is very difficult to know how much potential they truly possess. So, the main deciding factor might be whether they have the passion to work like crazy, make sacrifices, etc, etc, etc, in order to pursue their dream. </p>
<p>The majority of the kids who come to this forum…or whose parents come here for advice…truly do possess the necessary passion, and in addition I think most do realize that theatre might turn out to be a life-enhancing avocation for them, rather than a profession. Are many of these kids really likely to be dissuaded by a rather harsh and extreme statement about whether they can imagine doing anything else with their lives?</p>
<p>I agree that these kids are quite dedicated, especially those who have gone through the work and the effort to prepare for and withstand the stress of the audition process.</p>
<p>I’m concerned a bit for kids who receive a lot of rejections and then fear that because of that they are learning that they don’t have “what it takes” to continue pursuing theatre. </p>
<p>I’m not discounting the validity of the audition process - I think it makes a lot of sense, both objectively and subjectively, and that these programs know what they are looking for (and especially that they are looking for different things). I think going through it teaches these kids a lot.</p>
<p>My only concern is that there are kids who have a lot to give to theatre who may see rejections as a final judgment on their future. You could say that if they’re that sensitive maybe it is a correct judgment. But on the other hand, I would like to think that kids would know it’s OK to keep trying, or try other avenues. Certainly that’s what many of these kids end up doing, if it comes to that. I admire their grit.</p>
<p>Wonderful posts EmmyBet & NJtheatremom</p>
<p>I have an update: Purchase Rejection… yes D knew the odds but it still stings. This audition/rejection process has been a true test of what these kids are headed for picking this field. </p>
<p>I think it has been worse for me. D waiting on 3 more decisions. I would just hate for them to all be rejections. I think receiving academic acceptance with merit first to some of these schools (especially one of her top choices) has made it harder to receive the
rejection to the BA/BFA program. I didn’t bargain for this. </p>
<p>On a good note, she had her final audition @ New Paltz and it felt good to be over.
She is so burnt out, didn’t want to go however, I encouraged her to finish with a bang. This visit helped to confirm her decision to be in NY and be thrilled with the one acceptance she received in a BFA acting program. </p>
<p>Oh well, just a couple of weeks left and we can go move forward to the next chapter.</p>
<p>My heartfelt “aw darn it” to beachcomber and maggie2 and all others experiencing the sting of kids’ rejections. </p>
<p>Really enjoy reading the thoughtful posts above and wanted to add a little to the discussion. Back in the dark ages, I was a theater major in college. I later acted professionally, moved to Los Angeles and was up for some big tv roles. Each call back was extraordinarily exhilarating (the possibilities! the affirmation from real producers!) and when, ultimately, a role went to someone else, the rejection felt aggravating, but manageable because its what I expected of this life choice. All the naysayers who warn how hard the life of an actor is had allowed me to strengthen my resolve to withstand these disappointments and persevere. </p>
<p>However, at one point along the way, my dear mother (back in the midwest) asked me to not tell her about yet another amazing callback for a series pilot. She had simply run out of emotional steam to weather the ups and downs of my precarious career. I have to admit–I now understand exactly how she must have felt. How her sympathy and concern for me made her hurt even more for me than I did for myself. But at the time, I really just loved being able to schmooze about what was going on. So I was sad to lose a very loving ear. </p>
<p>I hope you all don’t mind me sharing my very personal story. I’m sure we all have made similar creative journeys. With this in my own background, I hope I can now be strong enough for my creative kids that I will remember to listen to all their ups and especially their downs and remain their calm, supportive cheerleader-- always good for a pep talk when they need it. </p>
<p>When bad news comes in a small envelope, all we can do is be there with a hug and not let it shake US up. But when good news comes–we have every right to say, see! I told you so!</p>