<p>We do feel threatened, to tell you the truth. I unplug the phone at night in my room routinely, and make sure the doors are locked. We’re going away on vaca in a couple of weeks and are not sure what we may come home to. I sure do remember Tanya Harding, and that Texas Cheerleader Mom as well!</p>
<p>If I were you I think I’d get someone to check in on the house while you are away - maybe a teen neighbor looking for a little spending money. If you could call them from your vacation location to see that all is well, your trip might be more relaxing.</p>
<p>I don’t understand why the coach puts up with them! Hopefully they will incriminate themselves enough that the police can take action. Good luck-</p>
<p>Unfortunately, there is no coach with this. The kids are on their own. There is a director and she’s aware of the letter, but we have no proof.</p>
<p>Still, even though you don’t have proof who sent the letter, you should still share what is going on with the director. The director already knows that someone sent the false letter with a negative intention. Let the director know that his equipment was stolen and damaged and that you are receiving anonymous calls to your phone from a child in the program. All these pieces should be enough to show that there is harrassment going on and you want the director to also keep a close eye on what is going on. That doesn’t solve everything here but it is one thing you could do for when your son is not under your watch, but is traveling with the program under the director’s watch.</p>
<p>I am surprised that your cell phone doesn’t record the # when you receive the call</p>
<p>I would pay to have someone stay in my home, it would be worth a few hundred dollars for the piece of mind</p>
<p>I’d get back to the attorney after he’s thought about it for a day or two.
Perhaps he can write a letter to the program advising them to be alert. It is amazing what receiving an attorney’s letterhead inquiry can do to raise the level of awareness to where it ought to be. He doens’t have to threaten, but just writing to them and saying all you’ve said is enough to make them very aware.</p>
<p>Also if the attorney can do something with the phone call pattern, that’d be good. Ask the attorney what to do if the man glares at you again.</p>
<p>Believe it or not, most attorneys are about solving problems not creating them. I like that the attorney wanted to think about it; but now go back and see what he’s figured out. If he’s clueless, find another one.</p>
<p>He needn’t threaten or anything like that; just write and describe the situation, encourage alertness. You’ll also have a proper written record if anything further happens to your son’s property or person.</p>
<p>I think I’d be finding someone to live in the house when you travel. If you’re in a church, just ask the minister this: Who is responsible but crowded and could use a break for two weeks in someone else’s home? Then it might even be done for free, someone could be so grateful to get a break from their home setting. But, as cgm says, if you can afford it, pay for it so you can set your terms. </p>
<p>Another choice is to buy a home security system now. The decal alone scares people off but unfortunately they don’t just sell the decals; you have to actually buy the system! If anyone tries to disturb your house, alarms go off, the company is called and if you don’t respond that it was your mistake they send police over; they also let you leave your phone number with them where you travel. So if you don’t hear from them you can figure nobody has disturbed the house. Problem is, I think it costs about a thousand dollars, but maybe there are lesser systems. </p>
<p>Good luck. My heart goes out to you.</p>
<p>I would also make sure you all have a disposable camera or something with you at all times…that way if one of you sees the stalker dad, you can take his picture, and if he glares at you, look back at him, take out a pen and paper, and write something down, etc…</p>
<p>If these “people” see that you are tracking their behaviors, logging things, etc, they may back off…</p>
<p>As for the phone calls, something my mom did once was click the phone a couple of times, and said, do you think its working, when she got some weird calls…the calls stopped…or you can play their game and converse with them to get them to say something incriminating…who knows what is the best tact</p>
<p>i agree, the lawyer sounds like he needs some ■■■■■■■, so find another one</p>
<p>If you go the way of the attorney’s letter I would be concerned that the program might feel it cannot protect your son and subsequantly ask him to leave.</p>
<p>If you’re getting harrassing phone calls and vandalism is occurring, is there a reason you haven’t notified the police? In most jurisdictions these days, stalking is a crime.</p>
<p>And I do agree about the house-sitter.</p>
<p>If the program feels they cannot protect the young man, perhaps that says something important. Maybe they can’t protect him. Personally, I’d have the lawyer write a letter and listen to what the people running the program have to say. His safety is paramount.</p>
<p>The sports program is loosely run by volunteers, and the director is aware of the situation and doesn’t pair S with one of the troublemaking boys. I drop him off at the start and pick him up when its over. Its local so I don’t feel he’s too vulnerable. Now my car being keyed while I’m there is quite another matter. I’m assuming that’ll be next. We haven’t called the police because we don’t want to make it worse. We’re trying to get an experienced opinion from an attorney on what’s the best way to go about this that will have teeth. Its taking all the patience I have not to go over there, ring the doorbell and start yellling, but ironically another mother did that when the same boys did this to HER son, and they got a restraining order on HER! Poor woman. They drove her mad. I can see how it happens!</p>
<p>Dke, sorry for the situation.</p>
<p>Don’t say anything to the family. They will make you look like the aggressor.
Keep track of everything that happens, report it to atty or police and let them handle it.</p>
<p>dke, I just read through this entire thread and all I can say is WOW! So much for sports building character.</p>
<p>The passive reaction of the director of the program is disappointing. It sounds like s/he doesn’t want to get involved either, which, although understanding is just making the problem worse as the “perp” knows that no one will stop him/her. </p>
<p>Perhaps you could recruit some of the other parents? If your son is scared out of participation, then it will just be their kids who are the target tomorrow. </p>
<p>Threatening telephone calls and vandalism are crimes. I would definitely file a complaint with the police. I’m not sure what an attorney could accomplish here – other than give you advice – especially if you feel the director or organization leadership won’t respond to pressure. </p>
<p>Good luck to you and your son and let us know what develops.</p>
<p>We had a harassing neighbor situation about 20 years ago that went on for two years. We could never prove anything, and there were no crimes committed. Finally we contacted our attorney and he had us put in writing each and every instance of harassment. Alone, none was convincing, but as a whole, there was a clear pattern. Our attorney wrote a letter to the neighbors and advised them that he had reviewed the events of the past two years and in his opinion, there was harassment going on. His letter stated that he was putting them on notice that any future contact by them would be considered harassment and legal action would be taken.</p>
<p>The letter stopped any future communication between us and the harassement. They moved about 5 miles away. About a year later we saw the husband on the road near our house and we think he poisoned and killed our family dog, but never had proof. We lived on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere with only this and one other family at a junction of two roads. It was frightening to say the least, especially at night when our kids were young and my husband was at a night meeting.</p>
<p>I don’t mean to scare you, but these people might be dangerous and you should take it very seriously. It’s important for them to know that you are aware that they are the culprits. They are cowards operating in the dark and need to be exposed.</p>