<p>“I vividly remember sitting at the dining room table for hours confronting several lima beans and half a glass of room temperature milk. ~~Shudder~”</p>
<p>Many similar scenes in my house as a kid. My mom had nothing on Mommie Dearest.</p>
<p>And no kidding…when my parents took me(7 yrs old) to Lima, Ohio to my Grandma’s funeral…I was TERRIFIED (cause I was SURE that thats where them beans came from)</p>
<p>And how about all those losers who rush in to say, “You don’t like lima beans because you’ve never tried MY lima beans…here! have some! really!”</p>
<p>In my 40’s those folks really got to me.</p>
<p>The hardest part about growing up is realizing that all those grownups you knew when you were a kid–you know, the ones who had all the answers and you couldn’t wait to grow up and be like them because then you’d have all the answers, too? – Well, it turns out they DIDN’T have all the answers. They didn’t have ANY of the answers. They didn’t even know what the questions were. THEY WERE JUST FAKING IT THE WHOLE TIME!! (Yes, that includes your mom and dad. . .)</p>
<p>Hangups? No clean plate club here. My kids eat cookies for breakfast and sleep in their clothes. We never make the beds. We save the dirty dishes for the morning–or the day after that.</p>
<p>atomom (who has driven by Lima, OH–without stopping–many times).</p>
<p>mafool, "I am still irked that adults behave as immaturely as people did in high school. It was an enormous shock and disappointment to realize that many grown-ups still gossip, back stab, marginalize, lie, manipulate… "
<p>I find myself spending more time with a few friends, and less with acquaintances, I can say “no, not interested” with ease. I long for time to read and do a house project. My volunteer work gives me enormous satisfaction. I’d rather cook a large pot of soup than lots of separate meals.</p>
<p>Only a few years ago I had a job with most people half my age. It was most uncomfortable situation to be with a “mean girl” who back stabbed and manipulated, and had her followers. What a joy to return to former position with mature adults who treat each other with consideration.</p>
<p>I never grew up with a “neat” mother, so quite (probably) too casual in that front. Similarly, never had to eat what I didn’t like, so didn’t impose that on others. I do like brussel sprouts, cooked the Italian way, so my Aunt would make them for me, and I make them for son and b/f.</p>
<p>I’m glad I’m valued for my sincerity, not my looks or fashion sense.</p>
<p>MiamiDAP-</p>
<p>Irked and a heart attack are not synonymous!</p>
<p>I am over the shock that I experiences looong ago as an emerging adult when I discovered that adults often don’t behave with any more maturity than did my most immature high school class mates.</p>
<p>I’m still “irked” by such behavior, however.</p>
<p>So don’t run for the defibrillator just yet.:)</p>
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<p>I used to think I’d be like that at 18 when I was 12. Now I am 18 and I’m hoping it’ll happen when I’m 23. I guess it’s something you always want, and quite possibly, never have.</p>
<p>(Sorry to chime in on a parents’ forum!)</p>
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<p>I attribute that behavior to a mental handicap.</p>
<p>I would have thought by now I’d be over my childish squeamishness about rotting food. But alas, not so. It still takes enormous courage for me to open a tupperware container of spaghetti sauce that’s been at the back of the fridge for a month. Sometimes I will pull the container out and put it on the counter and just stare at it for a while, trying to come to terms with the appalling thing I am about to do. And sometimes my heart fails me and the container sits on the counter getting even nastier for a couple of days before I summon the force of will to deal with it.</p>
<p>On the other hand, I’ve made big strides with my arachnophobia. I am still decidedly unhappy to have one of the little critters on my person, but I coexist with them pretty well otherwise.</p>
<p>I honestly can’t get rid of the hang-up while driving, being annoyed at those who have that defective gene which makes them think that the road is theirs and it is OK to zoom past you, cut you off, not bother using their turn signal, flash their high beams at you even though you are already going over the speed limit, etc etc. Especially the ones who come to a stop light alongside you instead of getting in line right behind you, just for the chance to drag race you and cut you off once the light turns green. Oh well - at least I am getting to my destination safely!!</p>
<p>I may get some flack for this, but in my experience quite a few of those who are still acting with the social maturity of a high schooler never went on to college. Somehow their social development stopped at high school graduation. This is extremely annoying to me.</p>
<p>I hope I am not that person, Rachacha…but I will admit that I have the opposite hangup of being annoyed at those who take forever to start up at green lights, need to come almost to a full stop before making turns, drive the speed limit in the fast lane, etc. As a city driver, I have to make a conscious effort to relax whenever I drive in the suburbs to avoid going crazy from all the slowness and excess caution. I’m not a cowboy, and I don’t think I drive aggressively, but I try to be efficient and alert and not be the one who slows things down for everybody else, and I wish everybody would do the same.</p>
<p>“why to be bothered with this?”</p>
<p>Because maybe the lying, backstabbing people are the faculty committee judging my dissertation defense. Or the executives evaluating my promotion, or the law partners in charge of my case. Obviously, if you have people like this in your social circle, you can just walk away, but it’s not always that simple. If you can simply chill out when you are drummed out of partnership after 20 years, you’re far more mature than I am, and my hat’s off to you.</p>
<p>Glad to know I’m not the only one who never got over an aversion to lima beans!</p>
<p>When I was a kid, my parents wouldn’t let me leave the table until I took two bites of each dish on my plate. Lima beans were one of foods I absolutely despised, so I would sit at the table for hours (literally) because I wouldn’t take two bites. Sometimes I even fell asleep at the table! I remember once trying to sneak some of my lima beans to my dog, but even he wouldn’t touch them. I got in big trouble for that one.</p>
<p>I loathe lima beans to this day.</p>
<p>Goey eggs–never liked them & still don’t. I always have to order them “over hard” or “well done” when we’re out somewhere. I also don’t much like scrambled eggs. When I was growing up, I was served them goey and sometimes with bits of eggshell. I refused to eat them and was stared at them all day until I was finally allowed to toss them. (Fortunately, I like other forms of egg; ironically, hubby & D love theirs runny.)</p>
<p>Tongue and/or liver especially with lima beans.</p>
<p>The OP wrote:
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<p>Authorities are oppressed by higher authorities. So even after they give one answer to your kid, perhaps even in good faith, someone somewhere made them change it and get back to you with l80-degree opposite answer. Variations on this theme: Catch-22, bureaucratic runaround, group-think.</p>
<p>I recall some words had a power in our household not shared by others. I’ll guess you put great emphasis on “Never tell a lie” in your home. As a parallel, I know I put big stock in the word “promise” so rather than “promise” things to my preschool kids I’d say, “Well I can’t promise but I will try.” They quote it back to me now, in sing-song. This sounds fine and dandy until they went off to school and other people (children, teachers sometimes) would say “I promise…” and then forget to deliver. HUGE disappointment and distrust ensued. Finally I had to re-teach my kids to disregard whenever someone said “I promise to…” because it wasn’t said with the same earth-shaking seriousness as they’d been taught at home. I retaught S-1 at age 7: “When your friend says ‘I promise’ he probably just means 'I’ll try.” Even today everyone in my family has to rehash difficult conversations to ferret out,
“Did they promise to do that, or just talk about it…” </p>
<p>Similarly, when you value telling the truth and not lying, your kids embrace that similarly. Another adult comes along and “changes the story” or “rethinks the matter” or “finds out more information” (their explanation). That feels like “he lied” the first time. And if you accuse him of lying, he won’t even understand how you could call that “a lie” and be thunderstruck at the accusation.</p>
<p>Another possibility: a person in authority bears false witness (describes a scene or incident so you look bad). Some folks have integrity and can’t do it; others do it freely because they consider maintaining their job or social power of paramount importance, especially compared to keeping the trust of a single kid or family who comes and goes during the longterm course of their career. </p>
<p>Why it still bothers you is because it’s lacking in integrity. You probably have integrity.</p>
<p>Anyway, try my lima beans.</p>
<p>We need to contact the CC powers that be and get us Limaphobes our own forum.</p>
<p>And wouldn’t you know my mom still serves lima beans almost every time we visit? I must admit that I’ve gotten better at hiding them in my napkin, or maybe it’s just that my mom’s eyesight isn’t as good as it used to be. Whatever. No way another lima bean will ever make its way into my mouth!</p>
<p>Limaphobes, indeed. Does ANYONE like lima beans? I’ve yet to find anyone who does–except my parents!</p>
<p>I can stand them when they’re fully cooked, with lots of butter and pepper. But no, I can’t say I like them.</p>