<p>I’ve seen cases where those growing up with less expect MORE, and will go to great (and unethical) lengths to get it!</p>
<p>I have done mission work (construction) in Honduras, and I was shocked to see flat screen TVs in these shacks that didn’t even have running water. I guess they weren’t so much of a luxury item!</p>
<p>OP is back!!
I loved my kid’s preschool teachers who were half my (now) age because they can run around and play superhero or what with agile energized body and real enthusiasm.
They are Bank street trained superb brain people but totally enjoyed what they were doing at that time.
I don’t know what happened to them by now, married, had kid(s)? went back to school?
when you are young and your body can handle it, should do what makes you happy.
at least she got paying job.
I think low pay down to earth/ hands on experience would serve her better later in any career choice.</p>
<p>Romani, if I am not mistaken, you are in college or not far removed. Do you have on opinion about parents positioning themselves to pay for their child’s college education (whatever that might mean)?</p>
<p>Say WHAT??? (re: post 82)</p>
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<p>I’m not talking about real poverty. My kids have never missed a meal, they have never not had a bed to sleep in, and I have made a choice to send them to (relatively low cost) fee-based schools, since our local public school is so wretched. But I don’t buy them cars when they turn 16, I don’t give them spending money unless they do something to earn it, our family vacations are tent-based camping jaunts, my D shops for her clothes at Goodwill (and is very good at finding really nice stuff there); and when it comes to college, they know that their choices are constrained by what DW and I can afford to pay - which means a state school or a generous private one. </p>
<p>They are also well aware that DW and I made a joint decision 12 years ago to get out of jobs in which we felt ethically compromised and take on work that pays a lot less but that contributes a lot more to the community in which we live. I can only hope that has made an impression on them - and it appears to have with my D, while my S is still a work in progress.</p>
<p>well, it’s not good to work in something in which you are behaving in unethical ways. So, I’m glad you were able to turn it around for yourself.</p>
<p>@annasdad, what is ethically compromising about making money?</p>
<p>OH, is that what was ethically compromising?</p>
<p>Well, we all have our visions and passions.</p>
<p>Shrinkrap, to answer your question: I think in this day and age, parents who bring children into the world have a responsibility to pay for their college to the extent they are able. Does that mean going into debt to send them to an expensive private college? No way. Does that mean doing without luxuries to send them to a reasonably priced school (to the extent those exist anymore!) where they can get a good education? Absolutely. And before oldfort jumps all over me again, if a parent is blessed with the means, there’s nothing wrong with using those means to send the kid to HYPSM full pay.</p>
<p>^Got it.</p>
<p>"@annasdad, what is ethically compromising about making money? "</p>
<p>Oh come on…It’s HOW you make it that can make you feel unethical. Like “pushing” Prozac instead of doing psychotherapy.Like seeing cash only patients vs. taking medicaid… ok… enough catharsis.</p>
<p>What was ethically compromising was what we were doing to make the money. Nothing illegal, just morally reprehensible. I’d rather not provide the details.</p>
<p>that’s fine. I’m good with that.</p>
<p>Shrinkwrap- Prozac can be much more helpful than funding some shrink’s retirement fund with multiple time wasting talk therapies. Don’t forget the brain chemistry, physical causes of mental disorders, sir/maam. Ethics include using drugs when indicated… Your catharsis pushed my buttons…</p>
<p>Forcing a child to shop at Goodwill can cause psychological harm. I also remember not being able to afford many clothes. It sure was nice to have a new winter coat one Christmas (being cold because I refused to wear the ugly coat available until then) instead another of my cousin’s hand me downs. Your sense of doing right may not be your child’s. You may be very proud of doing without- but your D may not. Decades later she may wish she could have had a more ordinary childhood.</p>
<p>“Your catharsis pushed my buttons…”</p>
<p>^ There’s a pill for that!</p>
<p>JK!</p>
<p>(BTW, I was speaking of my own choices, not anyone else’s.)</p>
<p>@annasdad, since you are so noble to not sell-out, don’t insinuate that everyone else who makes money is a sell-out.</p>
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<p>When have I ever insinuated that? And I did sell out, for many years, and lived very well during that period, so I would hardly have any room to talk.</p>
<p>But I do contend that to imprint your kids with the idea that you are what you earn is wrong, wrong, wrong; and I hope, if I accomplish nothing else in their upbringing, that I have avoided doing that.</p>
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<p>Hmmm, does this imply that your cousin or cousin’s parents had poor selection for function or style in the clothes, or that your cousin wore them out before handing them down?</p>
<p>Of course, families with infants are always handing clothes to each other because the infants outgrow them faster than they wear them out.</p>
<p>I love Life (the game).</p>
<p>this is fun
posters’d go back and edit or add on to what they said while new post says something else that no longer make sense because lots have already happened in between.</p>
<p>wis
maybe she had, when annasdad was making money. we don’t know.
raggy clothes are what some very rich kids here want nowadays, or say, Kurt Cobain era.</p>
<p>I am sure none of ^this would make sense by now, right? MomofWild?</p>
<p>Nothing you say makes any sense to me, actually.</p>
<p>I went through the “I’m better than everyone else because I don’t have a TV” stage in my 20s. I got over it. I love TV. Big screens in several rooms. I’m a sell out.</p>
<p>I like nice clothes. I have an SUV. I’ve provided well for my kids and they also like nice things. I guess it wasn’t too detrimental to their moral development since daughter chose a service profession (deacon/priest/hospital chaplain). Son- well, probably still a capitalist at this point. I probably shouldn’t have paid for his car.</p>