<p>A couple of things dad used to say to me that make more sense now:</p>
<pre><code>“If your thirsty, drink water” and “Your tired, go to bed”
</code></pre>
<p>I think I got the first one down, but am working on the second.</p>
<p>What kind of advice did dad give you?</p>
<p>“Don’t be a follower … you’re a leader.”</p>
<p>Know the first names of every person you deal with in life: the postman, the lady at Long’s Drugs, the waiters and the presidents. </p>
<p>Always leave a 20% tip.</p>
<p>Recite poetry and be kind.</p>
<p>For various reasons, I never rally got any advice from any of the three men who could have some claim on the role of “father.”</p>
<p>However, some of the things that D has heard from years include:</p>
<p>“It’s impossible to make anything foolproof…fools are too ingenious.”</p>
<p>“Observe how a man treats people he doesn’t <em>have</em> to be nice to: waitresses, clerks, children. That will tell you what you need to know about his character.”</p>
<p>“There are three classes of people in the world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who are not aware that anything is happening.”</p>
<p>“Know what you know, know what you don’t know, and don’t feel compelled to let everyone know what you think you know.”</p>
<p>“Lead, follow, or get out of the way.”</p>
<p>“Every week, save time for yourself, save money for yourself.”</p>
<p>=========</p>
<p>Overseas, when asked for about a tip I often say, “Lucky Linda in the fifth at Aqueduct” (or Santa Anita or whatever the closest track is).</p>
<p>My dad’s two main ones:</p>
<ol>
<li>Honesty is the best policy</li>
<li>Work now, play later</li>
</ol>
<p>I 've discussed my very successful, up from nothing, drop-out , tough guy dad before. I may have even mentioned his very short lecture on sex. “Son.You understand this sex stuff?” Yeah, Dad . I think I got it. “Good. Just remember-never go to bed with a live man or a dead woman.” :eek: He set high standards, but I have managed to live by them.</p>
<p>“The best time to find a job is when you have a job.”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to stick your head up a cow’s A$# to know it stinks.” </p>
<p>“Don’t you dare look down on that man doing un-skilled labor. He has a job. He’s doing it to the best of his ability. He shows up everyday. He takes his check home to his family every week . He deserves your respect and I GD well demand he gets it.” Probably the greatest lesson I learned from my father was to respect those who work hard, poorly paid, un-popular jobs. He demanded we respect their toil and their sweat. I still do, and it has served me very well in both friendships and business.</p>
<p>Happy Father’s Day, Pop. I’m still kicking.</p>
<p>“Don’t live beyond your means.”</p>
<p>“If you sleep with a dog, you’ll wake up with fleas.”</p>
<p>Edit - My father was born to immigrant parents in 1917, went through high school during the Depression, and was skipped several grades despite spending month in a hospital far from home recovering from polio (which left him with an atrophied leg and lifelong limp.) He had a very quick mind and was extremely intelligent, but never had the opportunity to go to college, due to the times he grew up in. He worked very hard all of his life in his own small business (started by my grandparents) which was open 6 days a week and was only open if a family member was there. He spend many Sundays and evenings visiting/assisting his elderly parents and inlaws, and did his books on Sundays too. He paid full price for both his daughters at private colleges. He was not an emotional person on the surface but always did the right thing for his family and other people to, and had no patience for people who didn’t. Unfortunately, he passed away when my son was 4 and my daughter was 1. My twenty year old son is very similar to my father in many ways (even to a preference for reading mystery books for relaxation), and people from the older generation who knew him often remark upon it. I often think that my father would have pursued an education similar to the one my son is pursuing if he had had the opportunity. My almost-87 year old father-in-law just remarked (out of the blue) how proud “Abe” would have been of my son if he knew how well he is doing now. (Not to slight my daughter, my father uncharacteristically told me in a whisper at a family function when my daughter was a small infant that he had told my cousin that his little girl was pretty, but she was nothing compared to my baby.) </p>
<p>Happy Father’s Day, Dad!</p>
<p>“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.”</p>
<p>“Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and you cry alone.”</p>
<p>This is my 19th year without my dad. He was taken from us by a drunk driver when my kids were 5 years old and 5 months old. He set high standards for independence which I followed in my own parenting. But I’ll always remember what he said to us when a bit annoyed: “Why don’t you go outside and play tag with the cars?”. He was someone who, as a child, I thought had all the right answers to any question. It wasn’t until my young adult years that he let me in on that one.</p>
<p>I have to say I don’t really remember my dad well.
He died when I was 17 after a lifetime of battling depression.
I do remember that it was my dad who waited up for me when I came home late, and it was my dad who gave me rides to friends houses and who could be counted on to pick me up.
He taught me how to skip stones, but despite his best efforts I didn’t learn how to fly fish till I met my husband.
I remember my mothers father much better, he lived till my oldest D was 5.
He really enjoyed my husband, they both shared a love of well cared for tools and fishing. With our raspberries ripening this week I am reminded of the first thing he would do when I would go over there to visit. Shove an empty coffee can at me and mutter to go pick some raspberries!</p>
<p>“Live within your means” was a big thing with my Dad too. </p>
<p>He also gave me very good advice about sex when I was a teenager; he was unusual in that day & age because he somehow made it clear both that I was to be extremely careful, selective, etc & not get pregnant, but also that he was aware that they would be sexual activity coming up in my life and he was not shocked by that. </p>
<p>But the best piece of advice from my dad was when a very dear friend of mine was having husband trouble and I told him that I thought they would soon be getting a divorce. </p>
<p>He said, “Go ahead and offer your support and empathy, but just make sure that no matter how much you may be tempted, NEVER criticize her husband-- even if she leaves him-- because if they ever get back together, you will then be on record as someone who dislikes her husband & thus be someone she has to edge away from.”</p>
<p>She did leave him-- and they did get back together later, and I never criticized. They are quite happy now & husband is a dear friend.</p>
<p>Good advice, Dad!</p>
<p>My Dad passed away in February of this year. This is a difficult Father’s Day. He served for three years during WW II. I found his discharge papers after he died - it listed his Army Unit and I was able to look up their exploits on the Web. They were a highly decorated unit that swept across France and into Germany - and fought bravely to secure a number of German bridges. High casualties. And my Dad never, ever spoke about it. Only thing he ever said was the best night he had in Europe during the War was when they got bivouaced in the basement of a French farmhouse and how happy the French were to share some very good wine with them. He was only 19 at the time. He was also the kind of man who would carry a spider or fly outside of the house to let it go rather than kill it. I never heard a foul word come out of his mouth.</p>
<p>The best advice he ever gave me was to avoid letting crazy people bother me. He’d always say - "they’re crazy, why do you want to let him/her upset you?’ I’ve mostly applied this to dealing with my wife when she goes off the deep end. :)</p>
<p>My dad had a VERY hard life (abject poverty, mother died when he ws 2, religious fanatic and abusive father and step mothers). He ran away at 12 and raised himself. Without much of a role model my father did a good job of making sure my sister and I had a much better life. </p>
<p>His best advice:<br>
<p>Big Green - you might enjoy reading Tom Brokaw’s The Greatest Generation. It talks a lot about your (and my) father’s peers and how so many of them “never,ever spoke” about their experiences in WWII.</p>
<p>My own father died more than 30 years ago, when I was still in college. But I can still remember how difficult those “firsts” were afterward - first Christmas, first Father’s Day… Your feelings for your father reached right out to me through the screen, so I know you will some day be past the difficult part and on to the bittersweet (mostly sweet) memories on these milestone days.</p>
<p>Typical of my father’s advice: throughout my cliquish pre-teen and teenage years, he countered every catty remark I made about anyone with a wry, “She always speaks very highly of you.” He had a way of conveying his advice indirectly and with humor. </p>
<p>I was one of the lucky daughters. My father and I were very close. I see this relationship mirrored often here on cc in the voices of “the dads” as they talk about their daughters and, very memorably, in BMoyilan speaking about his son. It is a joy to behold and helps bring my father back to me.</p>
<p>“Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat.”</p>
<p>“Drink water, breathe air.”</p>
<p>“We don’t need no stinkin’ vegetables!” (Upon encountering vegetables at the dinner table. This one has served me well, although not as well as the first two.)</p>
<p>My DH advice to our Ds;</p>
<p>be able to laugh
have a good reputation- it will take you far
don’t burn your bridges
keep your good friends
and family is important</p>
<p>he has given my girls a love of life, a sense of humor, confidence…</p>
<p>As he likes to say, his looks, my brains…</p>