Is Mother’s Day a big deal to you and your family? Do you give and/or receive presents? Is dinner out expected?
A popular and well known BBQ restaurant where I live will see lines outside their door for a long way, even if pouring rain, on Mother’s Day. H always says he is taking me there each year as a joke.
Truth be told, it has never been a big deal in mt household. H has never done much. He says I am not his mother. Children remember in various and changing ways. Today I got a bouquet of flowers delivered from D1. They’re beautiful. But it does not happen every year. I’ll probably get a call from D2 and a " Happy Mother’s Day" from S.
I think Mother’s Day is a very difficult holiday. Unless you are in the sweet spot (and I currently am), it is very often painful.
The sweet spot is when you:
have your mom still around AND are not estranged or distant from her
have children around IF you wanted children
Otherwise, if you are infertile or single and wanting children or have lost a child or have lost your mother or are estranged from your mom, it can be a very difficult day.
I think it’s a "hallmark"holiday. When my kids were very young we thought it was important to have them make us cards for mothers/'fathers day and maybe breakfast in bed, to encourage them to think of others and do for others. But honestly, I don’t want to go to a brunch in some Holiday Inn ballroom with 100 other people just because it’s Mothers day. I don’t need more soaps, or candles, although I would love them if my kids genuinely were excited to give them to me.
If you really want to make a mom happy on mothers day, give her the day off to go get a manicure or read or work in the garden or whatever feeds her soul
Not a big deal over here. Dd is busy studying for final exams. It will be a quiet weekend for me and I plan to avoid the mall. We will celebrate the end of the semester together when she is done.
D and FSIL are here to plan their wedding. She has asked me what I want to do on Mother’s Day.
I cannot remember the last time a kid was around on Mother’s Day. H makes me dinner and gives me flowers.
So this year we will walk or hike if it is not raining too hard, they can make dinner, and I would like to
play the new cards against humanity Trumph version.
This will be a good Mother’s Day for me since my daughter is just home from her freshman year at college.
I will see my oldest son (the ill one) on Monday. He, my running partner, and I are driving down to Rhode Island to pick up two cockatiels for me.
Middle kid is the one in Beirut. He just finished classes and is thriving. He is thrilled that he never has to take another math or science class again! He will live near the Syrian refugee camp and work there most days this summer.
My mom, at 78, is having some memory problems but still doing pretty well.
When my mother was alive, I loved Mother’s Day! I loved picking our the perfect card and the perfect gift and planning something to make her feel special! Every Mother’s Day she’d thank my sister and me for making her a mother and we would just laugh. I do not have children of my own yet (unless fur babies count), and although I adore my mother-in-law and am more than happy to celebrate her, Mother’s Day is still difficult for me. I usually get a little down on Mother’s Day, but am grateful to have had so many wonderful memories with my mom before she passed. She was my best friend and I like to believe she’s still with me every day. Looking forward to one day when Mother’s Day is a happier day for me.
I would love to have a fuss made over me on Mother’s Day. Unfortunately, it never happens. I think a father has to take the lead in involving the kids and doing something. My H is far, far from that type. My father always too my sister and I out to buy my mother a shrub or something of that nature for Mother’s Day. She’s an avid gardener and love shrubs, and landscaping, rather than being the perennial garden type of gardener.
H’s usual pattern was to ask me, after I had started cooking dinner, whether I wanted to go out. Depressing.
Not a big deal in my family. I also put it in the “Hallmark” category. I see and chat with my kids fairly often. I am okay with no pressure to do something on that one particular day. My mom has always been the same way.
Everyday is mother’s day at my house. No seriously, my kids know I have no interest in celebrating. More importantly, they know I am not keeping score. I would much rather have a real relationship with my kids than grade them on how they measure up on mother’s day.
My whole life I felt a pressure to do something sweet and/or unique for my mom. Something meaningful. Pressure.
NOW…that I am and have been the mom for 37 years…I don’t really care all that much. I know they love me and appreciate me. I don’t want them to feel the pressure! LOL.
Oh, S will call me. His freshman year at college he actually sent me a Dartmouth Mom mug. I was thrilled, and drank my morning coffee out of it until he sent me a new one.
I assure you, I never say anything to put pressure on anyone. I am accustomed to it.
BTW, when S was little, I would usually take S out to get H a book for Father’s Day.
DH always went along with what I wanted to but is another who says “You’re not my mother.” He always had DS get me flowers. I do enjoy a good brunch with Mimosas; DH and I went on our own last year. It was the first year without either of our mothers and second without his. So bittersweet.
Nothing special planned this year; card is on its way from DS. But for me this will be a great Mother’s Day because DS is at long last moving into a really nice career and I see him starting to come out of hiding, socially speaking. Things are going well for him and that is lifting so many of my worries. Best gift I can get.
Gift giving isn’t my love language. I’m just happy if the kids give me a card or call. I usually send my mom chocolates and make a nice dinner for myself and my husband. When the kids were younger, we’d sometimes go out to dinner.
I consider it a “Hallmark Holiday”. I love my mom, but I hate feeling obligated to do something just because it’s “that day”. On the other hand, Mom would be very hurt if I didn’t do something. So I will.
My kids are under no obligation to do anything special for me that day.
My kids are coming home to spend Sat. night and Sunday at home so that is great. We’ll have dinner together Sat. night and that will be “my time”.
Other than that I still view it as my mom’s holiday (and yes, I’m blessed to have her around) – and somehow I ended up volunteering to make brunch for 9 people! I already told my H that all I want for mother’s day is for him to stand on line at the bagel place on Sunday morning!
I expect at least a minimal effort from my kids. But I generally remind them (esp the younger one) a couple weeks ahead of time. Sometimes I’ll drop a hint about a book I’d like, and they know my favorite brand of chocolates. (A new book and a box of chocolates – life does not get much better than that!) This year D2 graduates from college on Mother’s Day, too. Double bonus.
We will have extended family gathering and catered Thai food at brother’s house. It will be nice. The next day, H and I fly out to see S and can celebrate with him in DC while we stay with him a few days. Everyone in our extended family gets along well. We still have mom and most of us will be missing our young adults who are in college or starting careers but there are the little nieces and nephew that are adorable and keep everyone entertained.
I have no need for gifts but my D’s generally buy me a little something and, when they’re not here, call. My favorite mother’s day activity is to take a walk on the beach with whoever’s in town and the dog. I do speak with my D’s often and we’re close but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with them knowing that two days a year (Mother’s Day and my birthday) they should add a little extra (definitely doesn’t need to be monetary). DH is another who doesn’t do anything special as I’m not his mother but he’s always happy to go to the beach.
My mother lives out of town and she just wants a card and a call so that’s what I do. MIL believes it’s a Hallmark holiday and has no need or expectation for anything.
