<p>guitars101 - you are not alone in the emotion right now. So hard for me because younger D is starting the hs older D just graduated from. All the orientations and back-to-school events just feel so strange not having D1 present. Every time I drive to the school and realize her ancient old car isn’t in the parking lot makes me cry. </p>
<p>I am also emotionally torn right now because D1 is fairly subdued about going to college. She’s glad for the opportunity, of course, but the leavetaking part is really starting to bother her. I feel as if I have to pep talk her when deep down I just want to pull the plug on all this and drive he up to state U with most of her friends. Then I could go see her practically any time and we could get her home every weekend. Eleventh hour fantasies.</p>
<p>Reaching high in life is not without its painful moments.</p>
<p>My advice to the actual moment of leave taking is to keep it short and quick. Like pulling off a band-aid, it hurts more if you make it a long slow process.</p>
<p>You go there on Move-in Day. You meet the roommate(s). You move the stuff in and get it sort of put away. You get some lunch or dinner. At that point it’s time for you to GO. Don’t hang around. Your kid will be excited and itching to get on with his/her new adventure. Give a final hug and go. There will likely be an effusion of tears on both sides, but keep it short and simple.</p>
<p>Plan to do something away from campus the next day to stay out of your kid’s hair and allow him/her time to get to know all the dorm people. Go tour Salem or the Freedom Trail. We went out to Concord and saw the historic sites and walked a lap around Walden Pond. Distract yourself from the sadness of the drop-off with touristy activities, and resist the temptation to butt back in to your kid’s adventure.</p>
<p>Depending on your schedule maybe you meet up with your kid one more time to drop off the stuff from Target or what have you. But basically when you say good-bye on Move-in Day, it’s time to step back and allow your kid to begin to spread his/her wings.</p>
<p>I really appreciate the very kind advice given. It does help :)</p>
<p>mammall, I also have a dtr who is starting high school at the same school that my son just graduated from. I will have a freshman in college and a freshman in high school. We were just at registration at the hs and I also noticed the parking space that my son usually parked in very strange feeling. I know this is a wonderful time for both my kids and I don’t want to be a big baby about it, I want to be a supportive mom :)</p>
<p>I want to add here - 2 years ago I sobbed as I drove away from my eldest child - a son - at Duke - a 13 hour drive away from our home. He is one of my best friends and I must say that for a long time I felt like I lost one of my arms. My eldest D (bballgirl) is now the one headed to Harvard and she was with me in the car and she kept saying - but Mom he is so happy. I knew she was right - he was THRILLED and I was so excited for him - but I knew things would never be the same. It is OK to say it, experience it, and accept it for what it is -because it will never be the same again. When a child leaves the family, the dynamics changes. Good or bad - it is what it is. My heart ached for my son - I missed his smell, his hugs, our conversations and I still do! BUT I am so thrilled and happy for him because he is SO HAPPY. Now, I have our 2nd child (out of 4) headed 5hrs away and I am once again preparing myself for the inevitable - although I don’t think you can ever really prepare yourself for that feeling of pulling away from the curb and leaving one of your babies behind. The only thing that helped me and that I am sure will help me once again was focusing on the fact that she is SO EXCITED and thrilled - and that excitement will help me. I hope it helps you too!</p>
<p>The most difficult time I am having right now is that we have realized that my oldest will never be coming home to live again…he has told us that he plans on working down in NC next summer and then when he graduates the following summer he will be off at a job somewhere…so that’s it…he’s gone! He will fly home for Thanksgiving and then home for Christmas for a week (because he is going to CO with the ski team for break!) MAYBE if I am lucky he will come home over spring break - but doubtful…so that’s it…
I sobbed like a baby as I stripped his bed and cleaned his room after he left on Wed. I am not ashamed to say it…one of the loves of my life has done exactly what I hoped he would do - become a successful young man! </p>
<p>I just want to say to all the rest of you parents out there - go ahead and cry - my husband and I did - we still do! We miss our kids because we adore them and love spending time with them - BUT our tears are also mixed with tears of JOY! AND - make sure you have a texting plan on your cell and learn how to text! LOL - get a webcam - I did that and it is awesome - and IM - just because - my son and I ‘chat’ all the time - and I thank GOD for that! </p>
<p>Good luck everyone - and yes, I will be the one crying as we pull away from the curb in 2 weeks! LOL</p>
<p>I think you need to play it by ear on drop-off day. We’d planned to help DS get his gear to his room, have lunch with him, then be on our way. As it turned out, we got to the room just as S’s suite-mates were heading off to the Habitat sale to look for furniture. He went off with them, H and I entertained ourselves for a few hours, then we all met up again for a meal. He’d made plans with his roomie to get IDs after we ate which made for a quick goodbye.</p>
<p>Good therapy for empty arms syndrom - read the insert in the little box with the granola that the Harvard dining services is sending out. If Molie Katzen, author of my beloved Moosewood Cookbook, is in charge of my DD’s food at Harvard then I am OK!! Why does knowing she will eat delicious healthy food overseen by a wonderful human being just make me feel so much better??</p>
<p>Have they replaced the chef who was the Food Service chief at Annenburg last year? If so, hallelujah! The food was greasy and bland, and as the food budget shrank with inflation last spring, chicken breasts disappeared, in favor of wings and thighs, and pasta prevailed.</p>
<p>guitars101- I am also having a hard time as we prepare to send off D1 for pre-orientation week and we live half way across the country! We will meet up with her move in weekend and then the final “goodbye”. Something that has given me a little prespective is my friend whose son has been deployed to Iraq. So we will be sad as our lives change but also happy and excited for her future and let’s all pray for the Moms and Dads who have kids in harms way!</p>
<p>Beach02- Thankyou for reminding all the parents that there are many young people in true harm’s way. Some have not had the opportunities of Ivies, some are talented military academy grads, some are Ivy ROTC grads. They have committed 4-8 years (or more) to their country, and their families appreciate your thoughts and prayers. </p>
<p>Such a perspective will hopefully help alleviate parent & student minor worries of roommates, dorm locales, and separation anxiety.</p>
<p>Nice posts above! It really does put things into proper perspectives. My thoughts and prayers are with everyone here as the future looks bright. We are so blessed to have our children be able to follow their dreams and be given the opportunity to attend what many consider the best university in the world. Let’s all put on our happy faces :)</p>
<p>I hope to meet many of you wonderful parents at move-in weekend!</p>
<p>The Freshman Yearbook (Register?) arrived today - now why did that make me all emotional? DD1 barely glanced at it but I am finding it fascinating. It makes this whole Harvard thing suddenly really seam real somehow.</p>
<p>That’s great! I can’t wait for ours to arrive. My son will probably do the same as your dtr. I will enjoy it! I keep telling my son to wait until he has kids then he’ll know what I’m feeling :)</p>
<p>My dtr is pretty excited also because she recently made the cross country team at her high school. She’s a new incoming freshman. </p>
<p>I feel like I have gotten to know all of you through many months of posts on CC, and as we ship boxes and pack suitcases, I am very appreciative of all the helpful shared information and support. I look so forward to meeting everyone soon but how will I ever know who you are? Should we wear something distinctive to the parent reception on Sat. morning or shall we forever keep our CC identities anonymous?! Just wondering…</p>
<p>Cute post! I would love to meet you all on move-in weekend. I know that several parents from the CC thread of USC did meet on their move-in day. I hope we can continue to support one another and share thoughts. </p>
<p>My husband and I along with our son will be flying out on the 4th on a red eye. We will be arriving on Friday at 5am! Yes, we are crazy, but it was the least expensive flight we could find. We hope to do some shopping for last minute items on Friday. One of my son’s roommate won’t be able to move in until around 4pm on Saturday. He’s doing one of the early programs so my son and the other roommate will just place their things in the room and go and explore until 4pm so they can all decide together as to the room arrangements. </p>
<p>To all the parents on this thread, although I rarely contribute (due to extreme ribbing from my kids who give me grief everytime I post anything!) I have appreciated your comments and advice and words of wisdom over the past few months. As I helped my daughter pack up her things to mail tomorrow morning (we live in Europe so we can’t stuff it in the back of our SUV!) I thought of all the words of wisdom from you all and knew that somewhere out there I was not alone!!! We leave on Monday, she is doing FIP and we will explore Boston and then meeting up again on Friday and I just wanted to wish you all the best of luck in the coming week. Although it will be sad to say goodbye it is exciting to see our children fufilling their dreams! All the best to you all and I hope that I run into some of you in the next week whether we know it or not!!!</p>
<p>Justchecking - That’s a great idea! Those of us whose kids are doing FOP will no doubt be on campus before our kids return from the wild late Saturday afternoon, and will have time to visit. Actually, I’m coming in Friday with D1 who’s coming early as a peer advisor, so I’ll be on my own for the better part of a day.</p>
<p>On Saturday morning (continuing, I think, into early afternoon), the Harvard Parents Association will have a drop-in reception for parents in Annenberg. We could try to stop at that reception at around the same time. Or, we could stick something distinctive on the big red buttons we get at check-in that say “Harvard Parent 2012.” Any thoughts anyone?</p>
<p>When you are all there for Move-in Day, be sure to get some frozen yogurt at BerryLine. It’s a little shop on Arrow Street a block or so beyond the Harvard Lampoon building. They have the best frozen yogurt I’ve ever tasted. I recommend getting the original flavor yogurt with added fresh blueberries.</p>
very strange feeling. I know this is a wonderful time for both my kids and I don’t want to be a big baby about it, I want to be a supportive mom :)</p>