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<p>This is a common stupidity we see all too often in these sorts of discussions. Some of us actually think that when a man is severely traumatized by an entire society, then his grandson has no cause to feel also traumatized, despite that the grandson was raised by the son of a man who endured trauma that he then passed to his son, a son that also received new trauma from his society, which he passed to his son, the grandson, who also received new trauma, etc… That is how this works.</p>
<p>My grandparents AND parents grew up in a most wretched time, when whites literally mobbed and lynched blacks. As a child I endured Jim Crow, and a great deal of white racism right into today. I have worked hard not to spread the trauma I have endured to my children. But, of course, American society did it for me. So, now yet another generation of us exists with the certain knowledge, by direct experience, that there are real Americans, and then there are Americans like us, the “others” whose citizenship is still in question.</p>
<p>Fortunately, this does not mean for my children what it meant for me. I was raised at a time in America that offered people few options when it came to defining oneself as a citizen. Either one was a patriot, or one was an “other”, perhaps even a traitor. Being subjected to racism proved I could not be a patriot. I knew of blacks who considered themselves patriots despite racism, and I saw whites applauding them. But this was something I found to be intellectually false. I understood that any society that could not receive me as precisely as it did anyone else, would leave me always at a net loss should I extend patriotic devotion to it. So I have always felt a dissonance here in the White Country where, since being not a patriot, and not a traitor, I was amongst the “others”.</p>
<p>It is radically different for my children. When I asked my son if racism hurts him, he said that, if anything, it is an inconvenience, but only a minor one. I cannot imagine racism being a “minor” inconvenience. Such a thing is foreign to my way of thinking. I suppose the world is a lot smaller for my children than it was for me at their age. My children therefore sense that they have many more options than I did. They are fluent in multiple languages and even now are living in other countries, working, and acquiring culture and greater confidence. They still prefer America, and travel has helped them see the country for the good that is here. But whereas the idea of not being a patriot has always brought me discomfort, they would have it no other way. They are ex-patriots everywhere, even in America, and enjoy this status. It means that when they sense the time coming for them to move along, they can do it without reservation. I marveled at how they planned their trips, arranged their living arrangements, applied for jobs, interviewed, and then moved away from The Land of the Free as easily as if they had moved to the town next to ours. It is a thing I will never be able to do.</p>