<p>" … Even as a college junior, I still feel uncomfortable when people ask where I go … [it] often serves to alienate people or have them treat me with sudden coolness …"</p>
<p><a href=“Dear Prudence: I’m a Harvard student who says I go to school in Boston.”>http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/10/dear_prudence_i_m_a_harvard_student_who_says_i_go_to_school_in_boston.html</a></p>
<p>I had the same problem saying I went to school in Ann Arbor. ;)</p>
<p>I also went to HBS and just never brought it up.</p>
<p>This isn’t new. I can remember Harvard kids not using the H word forty years ago. </p>
<p>I always just said my S went to school "n Boston’ rather than get into the conversations that followed if they learned he was at Harvard. He’s never owner a Harvard sweatshirt. </p>
<p>This is not a new phenomenon. </p>
<p>I had a boyfriend from Beverly Hills who would go to enormous lengths to avoid saying those two words. :)</p>
<p>It’s very tiresome - I really hate the “You must be SOOOO smart” comment. What are you supposed to say? But prevaricating about the location usually doesn’t work either.</p>
<p>Agree that this is not a new phenomena. If you have attended Harvard or schools of that sort, it can be awkward answering such a question because it comes across to some as bragging. It can be easier to just avoid it. I recall when my daughter was in college at Brown, she would tell people she went to school in RI. I went to grad school at Harvard and used to avoid admitting it but after a while, I decided to just say so because it is a fact. </p>
<p>However, I have had it used against me. I’ve been told that I have the potential to earn a lot of money given I went to Harvard (even though I am in a low paying field, education). I don’t want to get into the circumstances surrounding that, other than to say I bet it would not have come up if I had said I had gone to UVM, the state university. I found the assumptions really bothersome.</p>
<p>I think however individuals feel comfortable answering this question is fine. Nothing wrong either way. </p>
<p>My D is married to a Harvard prof and when they were dating, she told me that when people asked about his work, he responded by referring to his area of research and did not mention where he did it. He focused on what he was interested in and worked on, rather than where he happened to be doing it.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, neither my son-in-law’s mother – nor his mother-in-law! – are nearly so classy. EEK! X_X </p>
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<p>Concordia? Are you Lutheran? (Just kidding)</p>
<p>Is Michigan too elitist that we’re not supposed to say we went there? It’s a public school…</p>
<p>Has the man in the street ever heard of Brown?</p>
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<p>Probably highly correlated with how much education this particular man has. A bit different than Harvard which everyone knows of. </p>
<p>Go to Williams instead. People will think it’s Roger Williams or William and Mary. Or Yale. They might think you went to locksmithing school. </p>
<p>Is Harvard like Macbeth? Considered bad luck if you don’t call it the Scottish Play. </p>
<p>Or Voldemort?</p>
<p>Or WashU. People will ask you how you like Seattle ir DC.</p>
<p>The last time I was actually at Harvard I met a girl who didn’t want to tell me she came from Scarsdale for fear I would be too impressed. That’s okay, I told her, I’m from New Canaan. :)) </p>
<p>My cousin was the same way. She says Boston area or is purposely vague. That way, she will only reveal it if they inquire further in which case she couldn’t be accused of “bragging” or be confused with those people who bring it up at every opportunity. And yes, they still call it the H-bomb</p>
<p>It’s funny about these things. Last summer when we were in Calif and attending many big family/friend events, my son was embarrassed to say that he was in med school. He, too, hated to hear the “oh, you must be so smart” sort of comments. My son is a jock kind of kid who’d rather be talking about his intramural sports. His typical attire consists of a Laker Tshirt and a Bama ball-cap. </p>
<p>I had this very conversation with a colleague yesterday. I don’t see him around very often, so he wanted to catch up. His question was so direct that “Massachusetts” would not work. It was more like, “What school’s she attending?” So I told him. I think we went through 3-4 rounds of “That’s incredible. Are you serious?” And a few minutes later, the inevitable: “That’s pretty expensive, isn’t it?” It’s just awkward.</p>
<p>If you are going to mention Harvard, you need to include something unexpected in the conversation as well and no one will pay attention to the H-bomb, such as: “Did you hear about Wendy Wellesley? She just eloped with a sophomore from Harvard!”</p>
<p>My favorite reaction to a student’s saying that he went to Harvard came from a student at Ohio State, “Harvard? Yeah, I’ve heard of it.”</p>
<p>Patty Marx (<a href=“Patricia Marx - Wikipedia”>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patricia_Marx</a>), who went to Harvard as an undergrad, used to have a great routine showing how her mother could turn any conversation to include the fact that her daughter was at Harvard. In the conversation below, RP stands for Random Person, and PMM for Patty Marx’s mother:</p>
<p>RP: Wow, it’s cold and rainy today!
PMM: Yes, but not as cold and rainy as it is in Boston!
RP: Oh, how do you know about the weather in Boston?
PMM: Well my daughter . . .</p>
<p>My opinion: It’s just a school! Most people are not going to be so blown away by the fact that someone went there that they will be incapable of further conversation.</p>
<p>QMP told someone that she was going to Yale, and met with, “No, that’s fictional, on Gilmore Girls. Where are you really going?”</p>
<p>(Incidentally, please notice how deftly I outdid Patty Marx’s mother, by inserting humor into the reference.)</p>